The Last Day

Trey Smith

This past Monday was supposed to be the last day. It was supposed to signify the end of a six month period of civic-minded volunteering. It was supposed to be a day filled with of a mixture of sadness, happiness and relief.

But Monday was none of these things. It was just a day.

You see, back in January, we thought that Monday (July 15) would be Della's last day of service at the Head Start Center in White Salmon. It would mark the end of 6 months apart and, if she had lined up another AmeriCorps opportunity, the beginning of a new shared adventure together.

Unbeknownst to us in January, the pivotal day would not be July 15; it would be March 26. That is the day Della was admitted to the hospital with acute respiratory failure. By April 1, everything had changed. July 15 no longer held any unique significance.

This is but one example in a sea of examples. Every human life experiences changes of these sorts. Our expectations line up one way and life goes off in another. When this happens -- it happens frequently -- a person has one of three choices.

1. You can try to force reality to meet your expectations, though this strategy rarely proves successful;
2. You can lament the change and get all tied up in knots blaming kismet, karma, fate or dumb luck; or
3. You can accept the change for what it is and move on from there.

Basically, we have opted for choice #3 with some brief glances at choice #2!  

We certainly aren't where we thought we would be this week, but we are where we are.  In the end, wherever you are at any given moment is where you must start before taking your next step.

It Just Hasn't Worked Out

Trey Smith

Since an early age, I have been a huge supporter of the AmeriCorps ideal.

AmeriCorps is an opportunity to make a big difference in your life and in the lives of those around you. It’s a chance to apply your skills and ideals toward helping others and meeting critical needs in the community.

Each year, AmeriCorps offers 75,000 opportunities for adults of all ages and backgrounds to serve through a network of partnerships with local and national nonprofit groups. Whether your service makes a community safer, gives a child a second chance, or helps protect the environment, you’ll be getting things done through AmeriCorps!

And yet, despite my continued support for it, AmeriCorps hasn't worked out so well for my family.

A few years ago, I was selected to be an AmeriCorps VISTA volunteer...and then I wasn't. Upon meeting the very odd me, my project supervisor decided I wouldn't be a "good fit" after all and so, before I even had the chance to begin, I was deselected.

This past Fall my brother was selected to be an AmeriCorps VISTA volunteer. He actually made it through the mandatory training and began service at his site. However, for reasons that were never explained, the agency that selected him decided to change the parameters of their program and he too mysteriously was deselected.

So, that puts the Smith family batting 0 for 2!

As you all know, my wife, Della, was selected to be an AmeriCorps National/State volunteer. She made it through her mandatory training and served almost half of her term. However, unlike my brother and I, she was not deselected. No, she was forced to withdraw because of a serious health issue.

Strike three!

In all, of the 30 months of our combined terms, we managed to serve less than 4 months of 'em. Still, despite the fact AmeriCorps hasn't worked out well for the three of us, I still believe in the program and encourage any readers who have an interest in it to check it out.

The Shifting Current

Trey Smith

Since October, the main focus for Della and Trey Smith has been AmeriCorps. First, there was Della's placement in White Salmon. Second, we have been working to line up a new assignment for the 2013-14 term. I have scores of links to all sorts of services and what not based solely on this AmeriCorps focus. And now, after consulting with the doctors today, this focus evaporated in the blink of an eye. It may return next year or it may be gone forever. Such is life.

It feels weird to be so focused on one goal and then to see the current of our life flow in a completely different direction. It will take us a while to get our bearings, but get our bearings we must do.

As I mentioned earlier this morning, Della is now temporarily and, possibly, permanently disabled. She has what is called respiratory failure. Her lungs are not functioning as they should. If she is able to shed her excessive weight plus get her diabetes under control, much -- though not all -- of the condition is reversible. But it will take concentrated effort on her part and a good deal of time to improve her health.

And so, according to the doctors, she may not be able to work much or at all over the next 12 months or more. As I stated previously, since she is our breadwinner, this means our economic fortunes are going to change dramatically for the worse. We both wish this was not the case, but it is. We simply must deal with the situation as best we can.

We understand we aren't in a unique situation. Every couple or family and every individual must deal with their own shifting currents. Life isn't static and few of us can see into the future. Change always is inevitable. You either come to understand the new direction the current is flowing or you bog down trying your damnedest to swim against it.

Head East, Old Man

Trey Smith

After two nerve-wracking days, Della's condition is starting to improve. Initially, the doctors thought she might be suffering from congestive heart failure, but later determined it was just a bad case of pneumonia compounded by a sinus infection. The doctors have told Della that she most likely will be released from the hospital late this afternoon or tomorrow morning.

Once she's released, she will be on strict orders for bed rest for several days. Since it is almost impossible to stay down when you must fend for yourself, I am taking the train early this afternoon bound for Bingen-White Salmon. If all goes as planned, I will drive Della back here to South Bend on Friday. With Della back home for at least one week, I can make sure she stays down. I will prepare her meals, make sure she drinks plenty of fluids, keep her humidifier filled up and on plus do the shopping and run any needed errands.

One of the main reasons this infection got more severe than expected is that, though her doctor had told her to stay down for several days, she had to do all the activities I listed above. Not only that, but since she wasn't running a fever, she continued to go to work. AmeriCorps volunteers receive very few personal days during their term and are expected to perform their service unless deathly ill. This is why Della continued to troop off to Head Start most days.

It is fortunate that this coming week is White Salmon's Spring Break, so she won't miss much time in the classroom, but she will miss a week in which she is supposed to be doing alternative service hours. This is unfortunate, but her return to relatively good health is our first priority.

It Pays To Be a Pest!

Trey Smith

An old adage is that nobody likes a pest and yet, in today's modern world, being a pest is not necessarily such a bad thing! I believe this statement is particularly true when it comes to dealing with bureaucracy. Sadly, about the only you can be sure to get things done is to bug the heck out of people. They get so tired of dealing with you that they complete the task or project simply to get you out of their hair.

In this morning's post, I lamented the fact that there were some major discrepancies in Della's AmeriCorps service record. Since we don't want Della to get on anyone's bad side, I have taken the lead in trying to ascertain what the problems are and to get them rectified. I've spoken to officials via the phone and I have peppered one individual, in particular, with several emails. The last of these, sent out in the wee of this morning, outlined the problems themselves and the possible ways they were created.

This last email must have done the trick because, as of late morning, the problems were rectified all at once. The Exit Form has been removed from my wife's AmeriCorps home page, her end of service date has been changed to the correct date and her record has been unlocked which means that she can apply to programs for the Fall.

Had I not become such a pest, I am confident that the problems would have continued to fester.

This is one of those times when being OCD is a definite plus! ;-)

It Is a Conspiracy, I Tell Ya

Trey Smith

You know how conspiracy theories come about? It is when the official explanation appears to have holes in it OR there is no official explanation. When information is deemed inadequate or lacking, people try to fill in the gaps themselves.

Della finds herself in this position re AmeriCorps. There are some odd things going on and, try as we might, no one is sharing any information. This lack of transparency makes me a tad bit suspicious.

When Della signed her Service Agreement, her term of service is listed as 1/16 - 7/15/13, a 6-month term. However, when she logs into her My AmeriCorps page, it lists her end of service date as 1/15/14. That is a discrepancy of 6 months!

The date listed on the site doesn't make any sense. Why? Because volunteers serving in AmeriCorps State/National -- the program that Della is in -- serve for a maximum of 10.5 months. So, if she began service on 1/16/13, the longest her term could last would be until 11/30/13. Volunteers who sign on to AmeriCorps VISTA, on the other hand, serve for 12 months.

Though both of us have communicated with several people about this discrepancy, no one to date has explained why the end date on her My AmeriCorps home page is incorrect and, more importantly, the incorrect date has not been changed. We have been talking to people about this problem for 2 weeks. The reason why it is so important to get this date changed is that, until it is done, Della can't apply for positions that begin this Fall. The automated system won't allow her to apply to anything because it believes she will still be serving in White Salmon at that time.

If that wasn't enough, we now have a second issue. On Monday, Della received an automated email advising her that her Exit Form has been added to her My AmeriCorps page. Exit Forms automatically are posted 30 days before the anticipated end of service date. If you will recall from above, Della's Service Agreement puts her last day as July 15. March 18 is not 30 days before that date.

Because my wife is sick with a sinus infection and laryngitis, I have taken the lead in trying to find out why she received the exit form at this time. I have emailed her project supervisor -- who has not responded -- and today I called the National Service Hotline. The person I spoke with couldn't explain much of anything -- He said he had no clue. He said a supervisor would call me back in a few hours and, of course, no one called me back.

While the first issue is aggravating, the second issue is more alarming. All someone needs to do is communicate with Della (or me) via phone, email or text to say that the posting of the exit form represents some sort of glitch and to disregard it. No one has done that. I even asked the fellow at the Hotline if we should disregard it and he wouldn't go that far.

So, it makes me wonder: What in the hell is going on here? Is something going on behind the scenes that we don't know about? Is Della getting bounced out of the program 3 months early or is this just a case of typical bureaucratic disorganization? It could be one or the other...or something else entirely.

We are suspicious simply because no one seems forthcoming with any substantive information and, though we have alerted several people to these discrepancies, nothing has been changed and the discrepancies remain in place.

The Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Men

Trey Smith

Just let me say, Argh!! We have been foiled again by the machinations of bureaucracy.

As I have shared with you before, we really, really attempted to be proactive with USDA about our home and worsening financial situation, but we were thwarted at every turn because we were not in default status yet. So, in order to discuss the various strategies available, I had to quit paying the mortgage. But this post isn't about that situation; it's about AmeriCorps.

Because of the way things played out -- Della being offered a position about 5 weeks before it began -- we wanted to get ahead of the curve for her next AmeriCorps assignment. The plan was to apply early for positions that open up this Fall. By applying early, we would stand a good chance of knowing where we would be moving to months in advance. This knowledge would aid us in a more methodical search for adequate housing.

But it looks like it is not to be. The reason? Della learned just yesterday that she cannot apply for a new position until she has completed this one! Since this position ends on July 15, it means we will only be afforded 5 or 6 weeks AT MOST -- probably less -- to try to find housing. So, instead of taking a slower and more methodical approach, we will have to scramble again.

My head hurts!

Real Life Tao - 40 Days and 40 Nights

Trey Smith

While talking on the phone last night, Della and I calculated how long it's been since we last saw each other. Once we pinpointed our last day of face-to-face contact, we realized we have been apart for 40 days and 40 nights! She is planning to come home the weekend after next and, at that point, the meter will be up to 50 days. This is not the outcome of her AmeriCorps experience that we desired, but it is what it is.

So often, when people reference the Taoist concept of to "go with the flow," it has to do with positive or rather innocuous aspects of life. In such situations, the idea is not to trip up yourself and instead to enjoy the ride. We often serve as the catalysts for the obstacles that limit our ability to be successful, so the ancient sages encourage us not to throw up hurdles in our own paths.

But a lot of this life involves circumstances and situations that are not of our choosing. Things pan out in a way that make us unhappy or uncomfortable. In these situations, we often try to force the circumstances to meet with our approval and when they don't, as they often don't, we become miserable and wallow in self-pity.

For me, the notion of "going with the flow" is more meaningful when that flow is going in what we view as the wrong direction. There certainly are times when we have the ability to alter that flow for the benefit of all, but more often than not, we do not possess that capability. And so, all we end up doing is tilting at windmills and making ourselves very unhappy in the process.

Della and I do not like the circumstance we find ourselves in, but we both have decided to "go with the flow." We have decided to make the best of a bad situation. We realize now that we will be lucky to see each other more than a couple of days each month until July 15 and so we will try to make the most of our brief times together. Other than that, we will continue to talk several times per day on the phone and exchange emails frequently.

If nothing else, this experience has taught us a valuable lesson. As Della begins the process of applying for a full-term AmeriCorps position for this Fall, we need to do a better job of scouting out potential landing spots AND, more importantly, we will leave for the next one TOGETHER.

This post is part of a series. For an introduction, go here.

Another One Bites the Dust

Trey Smith

When Della signed onto AmeriCorps, we sent an introduction letter to the various property management firms in the Columbia Gorge. This letter explained our own unique circumstances plus we included a standard note from the Washington Service Corps. The latter sheet explained the mission of the Washington Service Corps/AmeriCorps and asked potential landlords to consider waiving or lowering the fees associated with property applications, security deposits and/or monthly rents. The idea here is that, since AmeriCorps volunteers are choosing to serve local communities, those communities can give back by offering some modest financial breaks to the volunteers.

It is a nice sentiment, but it doesn't appear to be playing out in the real world, at least, not the real world in the Columbia Gorge!

One firm responded immediately by telling Della they had nothing to offer. A second firm seemed far more enthusiastic and the representative told Della that they were willing to "work with her." Unfortunately, as Della learned yesterday, "working with her" simply meant that they were willing to show her apartments and houses with no special financial considerations. This covered the apartment she looked at on Saturday. The large security deposit requested makes renting that place prohibitive.

Look, we aren't expecting someone to offer Della a $10,000/month apartment for $100. We realize in this financial climate that landlords -- just like everybody else -- need to pay their bills. On the other hand, we were hopeful that her decision to serve in the Washington Reading Corps would mean something to these companies. It would say something about her character as a caring person.

Sadly, the situation seems to be solely about money. If you have wads of cash, there are a plethora of choices to choose from. If you don't, then tough luck.

Since we keep striking out in the White Salmon/Hood River area, we're now taking a look at some of the housing choices in The Dalles, Oregon. The Dalles is the largest town in the area (population of around 13,600), but it is located 25 miles southeast of White Salmon. If we strike out there too, then it looks like Della is on her own until the middle of July and I'm stranded here without a car.

Maybe

Trey Smith

Apartment hunting in the Columbia Gorge has been a real challenge. As I've discussed before, affordable housing options there are few and far between. We have noted one basement apartment in Hood River, Oregon, that, while at the extreme upper end of our limited budget, might work for the remainder of Della's 6-month term. She will go view it tomorrow morning.

We are hopeful that the letters we sent to the various property managements firms will be of some assistance. If the company that manages this particular apartment sticks to their general requirements -- very HIGH security deposits -- then this will be a no go. On the other hand, if they are willing to make allowances for a volunteer's AmeriCorps service to the community, then it might be doable. I will still need to crunch some numbers.

I've warned Della not to get her hopes up. The transition to living alone in a strange town has not been easy for her. I don't want to see her feel crushed if this apartment doesn't work out. She tells me she's trying to be realistic, but that can be hard when a person feels as if they are living in a very unreal situation.

The best we can do right now is to cross our fingers.

A Roof Over Our Heads

Trey Smith

As it stands right now, both Della and I have roofs over our heads. I remain in our house in South Bend awaiting the foreclosure process and Della is in a room share arrangement in White Salmon. The goal, of course, is to find rental housing in the Gorge for the two of us and, at least, one pet. Let me tell ya, it is turning out to be a difficult assignment.

Like a lot of areas -- particularly those in touristy regions -- affordable housing in White Salmon/Bingen/Underwood (Washington side) and Hood River/Mosier (Oregon side) is hard to come by. I check Craigslist and the gorge.net classifieds daily. Most of the available rentals go for $900 or above. This amount simply will be out of our price range. There have been a few listed for below $900, but the least expensive ones generally don't allow pets. The houses and apartments that allow pets would put a great strain on our meager budget.

Della met with some of her new co-workers for lunch today. They told her what we already have figured out. Though service jobs are relatively plentiful in the region, there just are not that many housing options for service-based workers. It's as if the wealthy of the area -- there are A LOT of well-to-do folks in the Gorge -- want to be served by people who don't actually live there!

I am nowhere near being ready to shove off from South Bend (though I'm making good progress), so we have time on our side. Maybe we will luck out somewhere along the line. I guess the best we can do right now is to keep our fingers crossed.

The Hole

Trey Smith

Right about now, Della and I are saying our goodbyes. The car is loaded with provisions, the gas tank is full and my sweetheart is moments away from driving off into the great AmeriCorps unknown. I'm sure I will watch the car descend our hill and then disappear around the corner at 1st Street. With one last glimpse, I will begin to feel a tiny hole in my heart.

I will walk back into a house that isn't all that different from a few moments earlier. The dogs and cat will still be there. I'm fairly confident that none of the furniture will have rearranged itself. The same dishes will be in the sink and none of the food in the cabinets will have magically vanished. All will be pretty much the same...except it will feel completely different.

Though I spend a good deal of time each day alone, I know my beloved is downstairs or a few rooms away. Her presence in the house creates an energy field that I can tap into anytime I need. Just knowing that she is nearby and I can reach out to touch her or look into her eyes can calm me even in my most anxious moments.

And now, my security blanket is gone! For the most part, all I will be able to hold onto is her voice on the telephone line.

~~

Now that I am really alone, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm a bit scared. I'm scared that I won't be there when Della needs me and that she won't be here when I really need her. I'm scared that I will close in on myself and become even more frightened by the social world. I'm scared that I will injure myself -- something that happens all too frequently -- and there won't be anyone around to doctor my wounds.

Most of all, I'm scared of being scared!

It is all a bit strange for a bloke like me. I used to relish being alone. Ten years ago, I don't think this separation would have bothered me that much. Sure, I would miss my sweetie, but I also would have embraced my isolation. I would have viewed it in the light of certain sense of freedom. Today, however, it feels something like a prison cell!

But it is what it is. I am sure I will learn to take it in stride. Autistic folks like routine and, in time, my routine will be that of a single man alone (albeit with 2 dogs and a cat) in his house. While this transition period will be tough, I'll come out of the other side okay..............I hope.

The Complication

Trey Smith

One of the great challenges to life is that it has a way of mucking up well laid out plans. You formulate a strategy and, just as you are ready to implement it, some weird happenstance comes out of the blue. Blindsided, you flail around trying to make sense of everything.

While Della still plans to shove off tomorrow morning, we learned of a complicating factor yesterday afternoon. Since December was her last month of her quality union health insurance -- she will be covered under a lesser policy while serving in AmeriCorps -- Della decided to get a bunch of routine diagnostic tests out of the way. One of these was her biannual mammogram.

We learned yesterday that something showed up on the pictures. It may not be anything significant, but Della's doctor wants her to return to our local hospital for some follow-up tests. These more detailed tests will go a long way toward informing the medical team if the spot they saw in the original mammogram is nothing to worry about OR if it indicates the possibility of a cancerous tumor.

Needless to say, this is not the kind of alarming news we wanted to hear two days before Della leaves for White Salmon! Just the thought that Della may have breast cancer is a recipe for massive anxiety. Della is a cancer survivor as it is (she had melanoma in her 30s) and the very notion of another round of cancer treatment -- while beginning a new life temporarily apart from me -- is about the last thing in the world either of us needs right now.

Adding insult to injury, we learned of this possibility during the 2 week period between the end of one health insurance policy and the beginning of the new one. Fortunately, her tests are scheduled for the week after next here in South Bend and so her new policy should cover a good deal of the cost...unless there is some bureaucratic snag that we don't know about yet.

I have ended two previous posts with the sentence, Such is life, and that certainly applies here as well! While this seems like a particularly inopportune time to receive this kind of potentially scary information, ANY time would seem just as inopportune.

Let's face it.  No one wants to hear that they might be facing a life threatening disease.  If the spot does turn out to indicate a malignant tumor, we can at least be thankful that it was caught early.  The earlier the detection, the better the chance of survival.

Then again, it may turn out to be nothing more than a smudge on the picture.

The Fear

Trey Smith

As my wife prepares to leave the family nest tomorrow to travel to White Salmon to begin her AmeriCorps experience, I've discussed with you the mixture of emotions involved. However, there is one emotion I have steered clear of and that emotion is fear. While it is not something to dwell on, in situations like these, there tends to be a nagging fear that most of us try to keep below the surface.

When the time comes for Della to depart, we will say to each other what most people say when one or another goes away for a period of time: See ya soon. That is our hope, but the nagging little voice -- the one that most of us try not to listen to -- says something else. It tells us that we may never see each other again.

People die all the time. Relationships can change, particularly when a couple is separated. We are going into this adventure with the idea that we both will remain safe, healthy and committed to each other, but we understand that reality and intentions don't always mesh.

While the idea that either one of us will meet someone new and fall in love is remote, it IS a possibility. However, in truth, that's not something I think either of us is all that concerned about. No, the real fear is that one of us will be seriously injured/suffer from a health issue and die and the other won't be able to get there in time.

For most people, one of the worst heartaches imaginable is for a beloved to be near death and you can't be there for them. Not only that, but you wonder if, you had been there all along, maybe this bad circumstance could have been avoided altogether.

Whether one speaks of spouses, parents, children, various other relatives or close friends, most of us want to protect those we love from harm. If we are unable to protect them, at least, we want to be there to provide love and support. Knowing you most likely can't be there in their time of need creates anxiety.

And let's be brutally honest here. You don't have to be physically separated to find yourself in this kind of situation. People go off to work, school or the grocery store everyday and don't come back. You could be in the kitchen and a loved one could keel over dead in the living room or basement. Heck, couples go to bed together at night and only one of them wakes up in the morning.

In most instances, we don't know when death will visit our door. It could be one second from now or decades away. And, if you love, the death of loved ones will bring heartache many times throughout your life. As much as we may like to think otherwise, there is no escape from this.

So, while each of us should be cognizant that time spent with our loved ones is precious and valuable, I believe that this sentiment is magnified when loved ones are separated. As I stated above, though this fear is not something to dwell on (simply because it can easily overwhelm a person), it is not unhealthy to acknowledge it.

My sincere hope is that, at some not-too-distant date, Della and I will be reunited and we will move forward in this adventure together. But I am also aware of the possibility that, when we hug and kiss goodbye on Sunday morning, we may never see each other again.

Such is life.

The Waiting Game

Trey Smith

I have never been the most patient person in the world. Once a decision is made or plan of action has been drawn up, I'm the kind of person who wants to move on it...even if "it" isn't something I necessarily am looking forward to.

Back in August 1992, as my mother lay near death, I started getting a bit peeved with my mom because she kept hanging on. Mind you, she was completely out of it, having been almost comatose for 3 days. Once I finally accepted the fact that her death was near, I wanted to deal with the anguish straight on, not have it play out over many hours.

Of course, when her heart flatlined, only then did I realize that I wasn't half as prepared for her demise as I thought I was! Not unlike others in a similar situation, I grieved over the fact that I couldn't spend a few more minutes by her side stroking her hair and telling her how much I loved her.

It is in this same vein that, while I don't really want Della to go, the waiting for her to go is starting to get on my nerves. With her scheduled departure date set for Sunday, I find myself almost wishing we would just get it over and done with!!

I know I'm not alone in this regard. Della too has expressed a similar sentiment. It's not that each of us relishes our impending physical separation -- neither of us do -- but it's hard on us emotionally as the hours tick by. We both will need to set-up new routines in a manner of days and so we both are anxious to start this process.

But we also know that, when the time finally arrives to say goodbye, we will both be basket cases! Della faces a 200+ mile drive by herself into uncharted waters in a strange community. I face my own uncharted waters as I remain behind without my partner OR a vehicle. For a good long while, the sole tether that will bind us will be a telephone!

And so we wait impatiently. Part of us wants to get the goodbyes over with and part of us doesn't want to say goodbye at all.

Such is life.

Letting Go

Trey Smith

As any parent will tell you, letting go of a child is no easy thing. You've spent the better part of 20 years or so guiding this individual and, consequently, it is often hard to allow them to swim or sink on their own. But a time comes when a child becomes an adult and, when that time comes, the quality parent voluntarily lets go of the reins.

When it comes to a spouse, letting go often means looking out for your partner's best interests and not your own. That's where I find myself today.

Over the past month or so, we have dickered with Della's target date to leave for her AmeriCorps assignment in White Salmon. A lot of this dickering concerned the weather. Understandably, Della did not wish to make the trip in a snowstorm! So, based on long-range forecasts, we had settled on next Tuesday, January 15.

As the time has drawn near, the weather forecast for this weekend have improved significantly. Consequently, I have urged my wife to reconsider and to make her way to White Salmon on Sunday. This will offer her two full days to get oriented before she begins her training on Wednesday.

Now, if I was looking at this situation based solely on my own needs and desires, then I would want her to stick to the original Tuesday departure. I am not anxious in the least to bid farewell to my sweetheart for an indeterminate period of time. I want her to stay with me for as long as possible. But genuinely loving someone else means putting their needs before your own and, in this case, it would be far more beneficial for Della to leave sooner as opposed to later.

And so, though neither of us necessarily is happy with current developments, we have agreed that, barring changes in the weather forecast, Della will leave in the late morning on Sunday. It is the best day for taking a trip as the traffic will be much less than during the workweek and this will be the first time in a long time that Della has made a trip of this distance alone.

When Della drives off on Sunday, I will both be very hopeful and very sad. My hope is that her service in AmeriCorps will be a wonderful experience for her -- personally and professionally -- but I will be very sad that my soul mate is going off without me. I will be sad that my new normal will be a time without seeing her beautiful face everyday.

First Leg

Trey Smith

If all goes according to plan, I'm on the road right now headed toward White Salmon. We have borrowed a friend's Ford Expedition and are taking most of the larger items (e.g., computer desk, stool, computer, etc.) for Della's move. We should arrive at our destination between 2 - 4 pm. Once we unload her stuff, this should leave a little bit of daylight so I can help my wife get a little better oriented to the geography of her new home base.

I am much better than Della at finding my way around strange places. As an object-oriented person, I more readily recall buildings or the look of an intersection with particular streets or routes. Generally speaking, once I drive a certain route, I remember it. Della, who is far more people-oriented, has a lot more trouble in this area. She has to drive a particular route several times before it becomes imprinted on her.

So, we will spend a good deal of this afternoon and early evening helping her to get to know where the AmeriCorps site, grocery store, bank, library, hospital and other important locations are in relation to the house she will be staying at. After spending the night at her new abode, we will drive back home and, along the way, we will trace the route to Vancouver and the ESD 112 office where she will report on Wednesday, January 16.

Hopefully, I will be on the back half of this nasty cold and will be able to do my share of the driving. I have greatly limited my activities the past 3 days, so I could concentrate all my efforts on getting well. No one likes catching a cold, but it sure beats being immobilized with the flu for a week or more!

Yackety-Yak, Can't Talk Back

Trey Smith

During our tiring sojourn to the Columbia Gorge, we ran into a serious problem. We had 8 appointments set up to view room shares for Della and, since we don't have a cell phone, we found it next too impossible to contact people when we found ourselves ahead or behind schedule.

Ten years ago this wouldn't have been a problem at all because ten years ago we could have made the various calls we needed to make from...a pay phone. But it seems that pay phones have gone the way of the dinosaurs!! We had a hard time finding any.

Oh, we did find signs that indicated that a pay phone was present at several locations -- only they weren't there!! The booth was there, but the phone itself had been removed!!

Yesterday, we searched and searched and searched. We finally found one that worked. Of course, the one we found was in Cascade Locks, Oregon -- about 20 miles west of the White Salmon-Hood River area. We were already on the road headed back home. We had to call two different individuals to apologize for missing scheduled appointments.

We DID find Della a place to call home for the next few months. It's located in White Salmon about one block south of the downtown area and a little less than 1.5 miles from where she will be serving.

Still, we found it quite irritating that we couldn't find a pay phone when we needed one! We decided that -- despite our Luddite tendencies -- we're going to have to join the 21st century. Yes, before Della leaves for her AmeriCorps assignment, we're going to have to get her a damn cell phone!!

And So the Adventure Begins

Trey Smith

If all goes as planned, at the time you're reading this, my wife and I (with both dogs in tow) should be somewhere between Longview and Vancouver headed toward 2 days in the Columbia Gorge. As so often happens in the Pacific Northwest, we are traveling during a period of high wind warnings. This alert caused us to change our route as we decided it would be better to get inland as quickly as possible -- the highest winds will be along the coast.

The first trip will center around two things: 1) Finding Della a place to live and 2) Setting up a bank account. We have appointments to look at house shares (people advertising for roommates) in 7 different locales: Stevenson, Carson, Lyle and White Salmon in Washington and Odell, Hood River and The Dalles in Oregon. Since Della will be living in an area where she knows no one and her dear husband -- yours truly -- won't be with her initially, we have decided that a house share arrangement would be best as it is both less expensive AND she won't be alone.

Mr. Organization -- that would be me (again) -- has this all worked out. I've printed out Google maps to all locations. I have created a grid of our itinerary which lists the address/town, contact person, phone number, rent price and a description of each home. All of this information will be housed in a loose leaf notebook with added space for notations.

We've put together a tight schedule, so there won't be a lot of time for sightseeing. I figure that, once Della arrives to begin her assignment, she can utilize her weekends to get a better feel for the area.

Eastward Ho!

Trey Smith

It looks like my wife and I are on the cusp of a new adventure! Yesterday she was offered and accepted an AmeriCorps position in the small town of White Salmon, Washington. While we had expected her start date to be Jan. 16, we learned that instead it probably will be two weeks earlier on Wednesday, Jan. 2 (or, maybe, Monday, Jan. 7). This means we have even LESS time to find Della temporary lodging.

We think we will take an overnight trip that way next week. We need to scout out the possible living arrangements. I've been doing a lot of web research, but we need to look at the housing options with our own eyes. We also need to set up a bank account for Della.

Needless to say, both of us are excited...as well as a tad bit nervous. The excitement is caused by the idea of getting to reinvent ourselves in a new locale. We've been working on downsizing our lives -- what my brother calls right-sizing -- and we're going to need to downsize in a BIG way. Della, of course, is excited about joining the Washington Reading Corps program as a tutor. I'm very confident that she will do quite well.

The nervousness is borne of several things. First and foremost is the challenge of finding adequate and affordable lodging. When you have a lot of time and money, you can be as picky as you want. When you are lacking those two things, you can't afford to be very picky at all!

Another daunting issue for us is that we will be separated for a time, maybe as much as 2 or 3 months. For a lot of couples, this wouldn't be such a big deal; it is for us. Over the past 20 years, we've rarely been apart for more than a day or two at most. Della will begin OUR new life alone. I will be stuck here in South Bend without a car (though my friend Paul has already told me that I can borrow one of his two rigs from time to time).

As has usually been the case, I will be responsible for packing the majority of our belongings that will go with us for our new life and selling or donating all the stuff that isn't going. I also get the unenviable task of cleaning up the house and property. What fun!!

The variable we are most nervous about is our three pets. Chances are great that one, two or all three will not be able to go with us. We are holding out hope that all 3 can go or, if not that, at least Lily (the xolo-dachshund) can make the move. Giving away ANY of them will be heartbreaking, but we may not have a choice.

I guess we'll just have to see.