If we could each be brutally honest, I think most people have thought of suicide at least one time during our lifetime. For most folks, it's probably nothing more than a fleeting thought. You've suffered a difficult break-up, someone near and dear to you has died or you've had one of the worst days you can remember at work. While crying in your beer, you think to yourself, "Nothing is worth this amount of misery and grief. Maybe I should end it all." Almost as soon as this thought purses through your brain, it's gone. And it never returns.
There's a significant number of us who have contemplated suicide a little more deeply. As any regular reader of this blog knows, my twenties were a black period in my life and I gave serious consideration to ending it right then and there. Obviously, I moved beyond that point or I wouldn't be pecking away at my keyboard right now some 25 years later. But I certainly understand the feelings of despair that lead some to take the ultimate and fatal step.
I got to thinking about this issue while reading Questions on Suicide over at Personal Tao Musings. Casey was dealing with a specific question on this topic and his response is one that I recommend you read.
That said, I have a slightly different take on this issue than he does. From my perspective, the chief reason a person tends to consider suicide as a viable life option is because the individual is suffering from pain he/she feels they are unable to bear. So, suicide becomes the ultimate escape from misery. It's a way to end the pain once and for all.
But since none of us knows what waits for us on the other side of the divide between this form of existence and another -- IF there is such a thing at all -- we equally have no genuine way of knowing if doing ourselves in now will, in fact, end the suffering. There's an even chance that the baggage we carry in this life is loaded onto the train and returned to us at the next stop.
If this happens to be the case, then our escape plans are foiled and we will still need to deal with the underlying issues, lest the yoke weigh us down for eternity. So, it seems to me we would each be far better off to deal with our agony now, rather than later.
Of course, our baggage may well be left at the station after all. In that case, the strategy of suicide would work as planned. We would then be in the position to make a fresh start or we would fade into nothingness.
The problem here is that we simply don't know if suicide is indeed a viable option. Though I don't wish to sound like a conservative Christian zealot, it does beg the proverbial question: If what you believe to be the truth re life after death is far off target, do you want to take the chance your misery will be the same or worse at your next OR final destination?
In the end, that's the question a person contemplating suicide needs to ask themselves.
There's a significant number of us who have contemplated suicide a little more deeply. As any regular reader of this blog knows, my twenties were a black period in my life and I gave serious consideration to ending it right then and there. Obviously, I moved beyond that point or I wouldn't be pecking away at my keyboard right now some 25 years later. But I certainly understand the feelings of despair that lead some to take the ultimate and fatal step.
I got to thinking about this issue while reading Questions on Suicide over at Personal Tao Musings. Casey was dealing with a specific question on this topic and his response is one that I recommend you read.
That said, I have a slightly different take on this issue than he does. From my perspective, the chief reason a person tends to consider suicide as a viable life option is because the individual is suffering from pain he/she feels they are unable to bear. So, suicide becomes the ultimate escape from misery. It's a way to end the pain once and for all.
But since none of us knows what waits for us on the other side of the divide between this form of existence and another -- IF there is such a thing at all -- we equally have no genuine way of knowing if doing ourselves in now will, in fact, end the suffering. There's an even chance that the baggage we carry in this life is loaded onto the train and returned to us at the next stop.
If this happens to be the case, then our escape plans are foiled and we will still need to deal with the underlying issues, lest the yoke weigh us down for eternity. So, it seems to me we would each be far better off to deal with our agony now, rather than later.
Of course, our baggage may well be left at the station after all. In that case, the strategy of suicide would work as planned. We would then be in the position to make a fresh start or we would fade into nothingness.
The problem here is that we simply don't know if suicide is indeed a viable option. Though I don't wish to sound like a conservative Christian zealot, it does beg the proverbial question: If what you believe to be the truth re life after death is far off target, do you want to take the chance your misery will be the same or worse at your next OR final destination?
In the end, that's the question a person contemplating suicide needs to ask themselves.
(by orchid666 from livejournal)
ReplyDeleteThe question of life after death, either heaven or reincarnation, is of interest for someone on the verge of death but I highly doubt one who wishes to die would consider such questions as they are already in too much pain to start a philosophical debate.
To have been in that situation not long ago I can relate to this topic. As a matter of fact, taoism and various eastern philosophies saved my life in a way. Considering that there might be a part of me reincarnate in someone or something else after my physical death and that my bad karma would follow me until resolution and peace is found is now one of the main thoughts that follows me daily.
Thanks for this post. It made me smile this morning
Orchid,
ReplyDeleteI agree about your point re a philosophical debate. I suppose the trick would be to make the point in a not-so-philosophical manner.
If my post made you smile, then that makes me smile.
i seriously contemplated suicide in my mid teens. i was also dealing with other issues, but i didn't consider suicide because i wanted to escape the pain of my life. i basically thought that my life was not worth living, that i was a screw up, and that my continuing would only make things worse for my family and anyone who came into contact with me.
ReplyDeleteIktomi,
ReplyDeleteWithout realizing it or not, what you described re your teens is all about pain. If you cared that your continuing existence "would only make things worse for my family and anyone who came into contact with me", then it seems to me that you felt the personal pain of believing you were causing misery for others.
On the other hand, if you didn't deeply care about others, then how your life affected them would be of no concern.
Do you see what I'm trying to suggest?
i do see what you suggest, but i only somewhat agree. saying that suicide is ultimately about pain is very close to saying that our worth in life is all about pleasure. which is true, from a certain perspective, but is also overly simplified. i believe that human decisions and motivations are not that simplistic- especially when evaluating ones own worth as a person.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking for me only, I would say I am 99.999% sure there is no existence after death. That it is simply nothingness, the way it was before we were born/conceived. I base this on the lack of evidence of an afterlife, and the strong human need to avoid the negative emotions that come with contemplating the end of our own existence.
ReplyDeleteSo, an uncertainty over what would happen next is not a deterrent of suicide for me. (Yes, I leave .0001%, but it's so insignificant it's not worth contemplating. One probably has a similar chance of dying everytime they step outside their front door, for example) Suicide can then appear to be a very rational option IF one believes that there are not better days ahead.
I think the best way to deter someone from committing suicide, whether they believe in some afterexistence or not, is to convince them that there are better days ahead for them in this life. Providing concrete examples of people who contemplated suicide but didn't act on it and ended up living a fulfilling life, like in your case, is helpful.
One of the most common and worst ways people try to deter others from committing suicide seems to be to shame them about it, or to talk about suicide in abstract philosophical terms. Suicide, you get told, is a waste/stupid/selfish. Yet, this only makes the person having suicidal thoughts feel like their feelings make them a worse person, which then makes them want to commit suicide more. I really despise how our culture thinks it can shame people into compliance rather than to try to provide a path for a specific individual.