Friday, March 8, 2013

It's Not About Me, But...

Trey Smith

We each view and experience the world through our own unique consciousness. While we know rationally that the world doesn't revolve around us, in terms of our own lives, it sure seems that way! I mean, I can't see or experience the world as you do and vice versa. So, in a manner of speaking, each of us occupies the center of our own universe.

Some people would liken this to being our own god since everything appears to run through us. But gods tend to possess superhuman powers and abilities; the same cannot be said for most of us! And so, while we stand at the center of our own universes, we control very little that transpires around us.

While most of the things impacting my life right now aren't about ME, they still influence my life in a big way.

The first of these, of course, is the fact that Della is serving in AmeriCorps 220 miles away. Not only am I without my mate, but she has our one vehicle. We have been unable to find a place to rent in her service area and, since she doesn't plan to re-up there, it doesn't make financial sense to move there now for such a short time. We would use up most of our financial reserves and then might not have the financial wherewithal to leave. So, I am stick here alone on our hill without my own means of transportation.

The transportation issue supposedly was to be mitigated by an offer from my friend, Paul. For months he had told me that, since he owns two vehicles, he would let me borrow one of them periodically to run errands and go shopping. This put my mind more at ease...until he sold one of those two vehicles two weeks before Della reported to White Salmon! So that option dematerialized right before my eyes. (I don't begrudge Paul because it was his car and his life. I just wish he had told me about it himself. I learned of this development secondhand.)

For the past 2 months, my one buddy in town (Dan) has been my savior. He comes over 3 or 4 times per week to run me around the area. Not only does this allow me to get my shopping done, but it provides me with an occasional social outlet.

Well, Dan and his longtime girlfriend haven't been getting along for quite some time. After another blowup, they have decided to part ways. Dan's mom and aunt have been suffering from health issues. So, the upshot is that he plans to move away from the area to be closer to his family in two weeks or less. There goes my buddy taxi service.

Once Dan is gone, I really will be stuck up here alone and isolated. Sure, I can make use of paratransit once or twice per week for grocery shopping and Della will come visit me for two days once per month, but other than that, I will retreat into a world of me, two dogs and a cat. This development will not be good for my mental health because the less I interact with others, the more I don't want to. Once Della returns home in July, she may find a complete hermit who is terrified of any and all social situations!

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