Afternoon Matinee: Protest - Try Not To Be A Dick

Performed by Emily Yates

In twenty-odd years of living

I have had the chance

To learn some of life’s lessons

Like, When you go outside Wear pants.

I’ve given quite a bit of thought

To our statutes and laws

But there’s one simple principle

That supersedes ‘em all …

It's try not to be a dick

Cover your mouth when you sneeze so others don’t get sick

Stay out of the fast lane if you are drivin’ slow

It won’t always be easy ’cause other drivers suck, I know, just

Try not to be a dick

When you stand on the escalator

Please step to the right

So if I need to pass you

We won’t have to fight

The concept’s pretty simple

A child could comprehend

That you should turn your blinker on

Before you ’round the bend

It's try not to be a dick

Cover your mouth when you sneeze so others don’t get sick

Stay out of the fast lane if you are drivin’ slow

It won’t always be easy ’cause other drivers suck, I know, just

Try not to be a dick

When you’re peacefully assembling

In a public place

And the cops come to disperse you

With their tear gas and their mace

The urge to fight against them

Will be quite strong

But instead of violence just

Sing them this song, say

Try not to be a dick

Cover your mouth when you sneeze so others don’t get sick

Stay out of the fast lane if you are drivin’ slow

It won’t always be easy ’cause other drivers suck, I know, just

Try not to be a dick

So if you’re one of those people

As all of us can be

Kindly take a minute

Lend your ear to me

You don’t have to be perfect

Neither do I

All that we can really do is

Give it a try, and

Try not to be a dick

Cover your mouth when you sneeze so others don’t get sick

Stay out of the fast lane if you are drivin’ slow

It won’t always be easy ’cause other drivers suck, I know, just

Try not to be a dick

Try not to be a dick

(repeat ad nauseum)

~ from Emily Yates Does Everything ~