Life Is About Trade-Offs

Trey Smith

Over the weekend, while at the grocery store, one of the clerks mentioned that I looked terrible. She said it looked as if I was in immense pain. I replied that I looked like I was in severe pain because I was! Yes, I'm in the throes of another Fibromyalgia flare-up.

When I get like this, one common question I am asked over and over again is: If you're in so much pain, why do you refuse to take pain medication? And the answer is that, in my eyes, the trade-off is too steep. While I don't like pain, I'd rather deal with it than deal with impaired intellectual functioning!

When my pain is this severe, it doesn't respond to over-the-counter medications. The only thing that will knock it down significantly are those sorts of drugs that must be prescribed by a licensed medical professional. I have taken drugs like Vicodin and Tylenol with Codeine before -- after surgery or when I had a gall stone attack. While these types of drugs certainly dulled or eliminated the agonizing pain, they made me extremely loopy to the point that I had trouble adding 1 + 1.

When acute pain gets to the point that I simply can't take it anymore, I tend to be willing to accept the trade-off. However, since I've lived my entire life with chronic pain, I tend NOT to be willing to accept the trade-off in those instances. I realize that the pain will abate of its own accord at some point, so I try to deal with it as best I can.

I may groan and grunt a lot, but I can still read and comprehend what I'm reading. I can still write somewhat cogent blog posts. I can still do mental computations in my head. I can still carry on complex discussions and debates.

To have the capability to do these things well is very important to me. And so, the trade-off I accept is that I'm going to hurt like hell...and not be overjoyed with this prospect. ;-)