Constipation can be a real problem. I know this firsthand as I have struggled with Irritable Bowel Syndrome my entire life!
When things aren't flowing as they should, your entire system feels clogged up. A person known to be constipated can sometimes get a wee bit cranky as you just feel a bit out of sorts. It can also lead to some mild depression, particularly if as soon as you get over one bout of constipation, you start a new one.
I bring up this uncomfortable topic because of what I recently read in Jeremiah 4:19:
Maybe, his bowels were impacted! It would be hard to show your loving side if his insides were filled with non-moving crap.
Of course, this DOES raise other important questions. What does God eat? How often does he eat it? Shouldn't an omniscient being KNOW what sorts of foods lead to constipation? Does he lack willpower and self-control?
To see what other questions I've asked about the Christian Bible, go here.
When things aren't flowing as they should, your entire system feels clogged up. A person known to be constipated can sometimes get a wee bit cranky as you just feel a bit out of sorts. It can also lead to some mild depression, particularly if as soon as you get over one bout of constipation, you start a new one.
I bring up this uncomfortable topic because of what I recently read in Jeremiah 4:19:
My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war.To be honest, I never realized that God had bowels. Now that I know, I think it could go along way toward explaining WHY God spends a good deal of his time throughout the Old Testament being cranky and cross.
Maybe, his bowels were impacted! It would be hard to show your loving side if his insides were filled with non-moving crap.
Of course, this DOES raise other important questions. What does God eat? How often does he eat it? Shouldn't an omniscient being KNOW what sorts of foods lead to constipation? Does he lack willpower and self-control?
To see what other questions I've asked about the Christian Bible, go here.
Hilarious. I read this and immediately had a BM. During my recent holiday with old friends, in both senses, we realized we were discussing our digestion and arthritis a little more than we used to.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I think you are misreading. This is Jeremiah speaking. The quoted material, i.e., God's speech, ends at v. 18 and resumes at v. 22. In my RSV, verse 19 reads, Jeremiah lamenting, "My anguish, my anguish! I writhe in pain! Oh, the walls of my heart!..."
I don't have a KJ at my fingertips to compare...later. The frustrations of a copy editor!
Just visited my libary--conveniently across the street from my office--to look at KJ. There is a paragraph marker (but not quotes) at V.19, which suggests a change of voice. There are two in Jeremiah: the prophet's and Yahweh's. It's like he's channeling God and making comments on what he's channeled. In this case he's having an emotional response to what God has said in the preceding verses.
ReplyDelete"The Interpreter's Bible" (Abingdon Press) notes that for the Hebrews, the bowels were considered to be the seat of emotion, so to speak (as your post alludes to!). I suspect that is why many other translations read "anguish" or "pain."
King James is about as reliable and archaic as Legge: best to compare versions as you do in Line-by-Line.
Okay. Fine. But the viewpoint I presented is more conducive for a tongue-in-cheek post! ;-)
ReplyDeleteSo God is an old fart...aren't we all.
ReplyDeleteI think it's fine to be tongue-in-cheek, but without some scholarship, it's not a viewpointk, it's sophmoric, not at all enlightening. It's not God that's having IBS.
That's sophomoric....
ReplyDelete@baroness, you know you can read any version of the bible online, right?
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I actually have an online version on my iPad of various versions. But I like print...online sometimes doesn't always give the clerrest punctuation, etc. (Like the online version of Legge's TTC, there are sometimes glitches. Besides, it's not just the Bible I look at, but a whole shelf of commentary and exegesis to browse. The printed book adn the library is NOT dead yet.
ReplyDeleteJust like looking at certain paintings on line is useful, but CMYK beats RGB reproduction in my eyes. (Even though eyes are RGB receptors.)