I was a very naive youngster. I believed in the concept of normalcy; that idea that there were normal people, normal families, normal situations and normal ideas. Since everyone I knew described me as being abnormal, I guess I figured that I was lacking something that normal individuals have!
So, in many ways, one of my goals for adulthood was to see if I could find a niche in which I could feel -- or at least APPEAR -- normal. During my late teens and early 20s, I tried desperately to figure out what being normal entailed, but the definition proved ever elusive. The more I couldn't seem to figure it out, the more abnormal I felt and the more I became frantic to try to find a way to solve this puzzle.
It wasn't until I became a social worker with the State Arkansas in the early 1980s that I began to unravel the riddle. In a very short amount of time, I realized that normalcy was a mirage! It didn't exist. This thing I had been trying to snare for my whole life -- up to that point -- was a vapor, a ghost.
As I worked with families from all walks of life, I discovered that none of them were normal. Every family had several skeletons in their closet. Every individual I encountered had one or more odd quirks. And it wasn't merely with the families on my caseload either. The same held true for all my friends, acquaintances, coworkers and the various professionals I dealt with routinely.
In time, this epiphany put my mind more at ease. I began to realize that the only normal thing about humans is that not a one of us IS normal.
However, to this very day, I am still perplexed when people refer to me as abnormal. Since not a one of us is normal, what does it mean to be abnormal? I mean, if not being normal is the norm, would abnormal suggest that a person is, in fact, normal?
So, in many ways, one of my goals for adulthood was to see if I could find a niche in which I could feel -- or at least APPEAR -- normal. During my late teens and early 20s, I tried desperately to figure out what being normal entailed, but the definition proved ever elusive. The more I couldn't seem to figure it out, the more abnormal I felt and the more I became frantic to try to find a way to solve this puzzle.
It wasn't until I became a social worker with the State Arkansas in the early 1980s that I began to unravel the riddle. In a very short amount of time, I realized that normalcy was a mirage! It didn't exist. This thing I had been trying to snare for my whole life -- up to that point -- was a vapor, a ghost.
As I worked with families from all walks of life, I discovered that none of them were normal. Every family had several skeletons in their closet. Every individual I encountered had one or more odd quirks. And it wasn't merely with the families on my caseload either. The same held true for all my friends, acquaintances, coworkers and the various professionals I dealt with routinely.
In time, this epiphany put my mind more at ease. I began to realize that the only normal thing about humans is that not a one of us IS normal.
However, to this very day, I am still perplexed when people refer to me as abnormal. Since not a one of us is normal, what does it mean to be abnormal? I mean, if not being normal is the norm, would abnormal suggest that a person is, in fact, normal?
I did the same thing when I was young. (Still do sometimes, although I'm slowly learning not to!)
ReplyDeleteI think people refer to other people as abnormal because 1) they don't understand them and 2) we often fear what we don't understand.
It often says a heck of lot more about the person using the term than it does the person who is being labelled.
Oh, gosh, I guess no one told you...
ReplyDeleteI'M the normal one, and the rest of the world is abnormal.
So now you know ;)
Normalcy is a myth created by popular culture, especially television. Ward and June Cleaver normal? Ozzie & Harriet, normal? Andy, Opie, and Aunt Bea, normal? I think not! Exceptions to the rule, created and presented to show us how were expected to behave and what we're supposed to believe. The same can be said of most monotheistic religions.
ReplyDeleteThough I must admit, I had a childhood friend that grew up to be an awful lot like Barney Fife!