Yesterday my wife had to attend two meetings in the big city of Aberdeen. (Quit laughing! Aberdeen is really huge compared to South Bend.) She asked me to go with her so that a) she would have some company on the long, long 45 minute drive and b) I could do our grocery shopping while she was tied up. I said okay and off we went.
I was standing in the checkout line at the Aberdeen Safeway -- the last of the 3 stores I would be shopping at. I was placing items on the conveyor belt when, all of a sudden, a person appeared on my left. This struck me as very odd because, in narrow checkout stands, there really isn't room for anyone to pass you on either side!
It turned out to be the Assistant Manager who was moving behind me to close off this particular lane so the checker could go on lunch break. Being a very thin man, he was somehow able to navigate between my shopping cart and the plastic wall representing the next lane.
Anyhow, he merely brushed my arm as he moved by me. As I've reported before, one of my many Asperger tendencies is not liking to be touched by strangers. Actually, that's an understatement. I become completely unglued and this situation was no different! I grasped my shopping cart and scared this gentleman mightily.
"Are you okay, sir" he asked pleadingly. I didn't answer as I had my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. "Sir, should I call a doctor?" I somehow managed a very weak no. "Are you sure? You look like you're having a heart attack."
As I slowly regained my composure, I explained to him that I have AS and that I don't handle well people in close proximity, particularly when I don't expect it. This seemed to reassure him, though he came back twice to check on me. It took me well over 10 minutes to finally get my wits about me. I was overjoyed to be able to return to my car to sit alone with the dog.
I was standing in the checkout line at the Aberdeen Safeway -- the last of the 3 stores I would be shopping at. I was placing items on the conveyor belt when, all of a sudden, a person appeared on my left. This struck me as very odd because, in narrow checkout stands, there really isn't room for anyone to pass you on either side!
It turned out to be the Assistant Manager who was moving behind me to close off this particular lane so the checker could go on lunch break. Being a very thin man, he was somehow able to navigate between my shopping cart and the plastic wall representing the next lane.
Anyhow, he merely brushed my arm as he moved by me. As I've reported before, one of my many Asperger tendencies is not liking to be touched by strangers. Actually, that's an understatement. I become completely unglued and this situation was no different! I grasped my shopping cart and scared this gentleman mightily.
"Are you okay, sir" he asked pleadingly. I didn't answer as I had my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. "Sir, should I call a doctor?" I somehow managed a very weak no. "Are you sure? You look like you're having a heart attack."
As I slowly regained my composure, I explained to him that I have AS and that I don't handle well people in close proximity, particularly when I don't expect it. This seemed to reassure him, though he came back twice to check on me. It took me well over 10 minutes to finally get my wits about me. I was overjoyed to be able to return to my car to sit alone with the dog.
I don't react well to sudden surprises either.
ReplyDeleteI go to great lengths to not be surprised.
I know it wasn't your intent (or maybe it was...) but I smiled while reading this.
ReplyDeleteI don't have AS (at least I'm pretty sure I don't) but I do have "people in close proximity" issues. Damn. I just admitted one more thing I have issues with. Anyway...it's something I've dealt with for a long time.... People in my space, touching, breathing on me... ack! I even remember as a child not wanting to hug or be hugged...
The good news is that I have mostly overcome this somewhat quirky aspect of my personality. The practice of mindfulness has genuinely helped in this arena. Being present for each moment, or at least any moment I am able, reduces anxiety and allows me to receive and give love openly. In fact, just the other day I saw a homeless man on a corner with a sign that read, "Anything will help." Being that I'm broke and also had no food in the car to offer to him, instead I offered a hug. And not for a second did I wonder or contemplate about my "people in close proximity issues"...
Val,
ReplyDeleteToo bad you and your children live on the opposite coast!! I think my wife & I would enjoy being your neighbors!! I guess we'll have to settle with being virtual neighbors. :-)