Monday, March 6, 2006

Finding Joy in Misery

Our hedonistic society exalts pleasure and joy over misery. Being popular, attractive, wealthy and powerful is the name of the game. Besides, who wants to embrace pain and sorrow anyway? Both can be such abject downers.

Yet pain and misery have their place in the scheme of things. If nothing else, their existence is what makes joy and happiness possible. As both the dialectical method and Taoist philosophy realize, concepts only hold meaning when posited against their opposites. Consequently, misery contains the substance of joy.

This very idea is something I need to embrace. As mentioned in the previous entry, I was born XXY which has developed into Klinefelter Syndrome (KS). Individuals who develop KS have a tendency later to develop autoimmune diseases and disorders. My autoimmune disorder has been diagnosed as Mixed Connective Tissue Disease (MCTD).

MCTD causes pain in joints and connective tissue -- a lot of pain. Like Multiple Sclerosis, it comes in episodes. Between these episodes there are periods of remission. However, for some people (like me), the disease progresses to a point where the remissions are only partial and the episodes grow in intensity.

In some ways, this disorder borders on being funny. It's sort of like my immune system has taken on the persona of the Keystone Kops. My antibodies sit around playing cards when, all of a sudden, the intruder alarm goes off, "Warning: Intruder spotted in Sector 4!" The antibodies jump into their police cars to race off with sirens blaring to a particular area of connective tissue in my body.

Upon arrival, they soon discover there is no intruder. It was a false alarm. "Hey guys, what do you think we should do now?" one of the antibodies asks. "I think we need to attack something. I mean, that's our job, isn't it?" says another. So, despite the fact there is no germ or virus to repel, they attack the connective tissue itself. And they obviously have great fun doing this!!

Of course, the affected joint is not happy at all. It becomes stiff and painful. And since my Keystone Kop antibodies go off on several such escapades simultaneously, I generally end up feeling like warmed-over crap.

Still, I hold to the thought that my misery makes my joy possible. It's true for all of us.

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2 comments:

  1. Trey, I can't imagine it. My heart goes out to you.

    I'm very fond of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, and she gives a great teaching on the principle of Tonglen, and I think this is extremely relevant to the topic of this post. It's a little different take on suffering than the one you present, not better or worse, but I think it's helpful.

    THE PRACTICE OF TONGLEN

    Here's a quote from that article:

    The tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering —ours and that which is all around us— everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our heart. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem
    to be.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Howard,
    Your comment motivated my next post. Thanks so much for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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