Stuck in Drive

For most of this month I've been writing in a torrent. The last two days, however, I've written nothing. It's not that all of a sudden I ran into writer's block -- it's more that I'm struggling mightily with one of the components of my Asperger's Syndrome. I find that I'm obsessing on The Green Mile (by Stephen King) and I'm trying very hard not to subject all of you to my obsession.

When I get into these periods, all I can think, talk and write about relates to what I'm currently obsessed with. In many ways, it's good that I'm anti-social or else I would be subjecting all my cohorts to endless discussions and insights on The Green Mile. I've even pulled back from my wife somewhat because I certainly don't wish to drive her crazy with my endless babble.

One way I've been trying to divert my attention is by doing some of my paid work on the GreenPRO database. This helps a bit, but certainly not completely.

I can only hope my current obsession runs its course in due time and I can get back to thinking and writing on a plethora of topics. Until then, I'll be walking The Green Mile.

The Taoist President

Over the past 200+ years, each time a new presidential administration comes into office everyone is filled with hope for a new beginning and a new chapter. At this point in history with our nation beset by a multitude of serious problems, the previous statement is even MORE true.

But what if Barack Obama decided to seek the counsel of Lao Tzu instead of the usual gaggle of political insiders. What kinds of advice would this ancient Taoist sage have to offer? How would a Taoist presidential administration differ from the ones of the past?

Not exhalting the gifted prevents quarreling.
Not collecting treasures prevents stealing.
Not seeing desireable things prevents confusion of the heart.

The wise therefore rule by emptying hearts and stuffing
bellies, by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.
If men lack knowledge and desire, then clever people will not
try to interfere.
If nothing is done, then all will be well.
~ Three ~

Better stop short than fill to the brim.
Oversharpen the blade, and the edge will soon blunt.
Amass a store of gold and jade, and no one can protect it.
Claim wealth and titles, and disaster will follow.
~ portion of Nine ~

The universe is sacred.
You cannot improve it.
If you try to change it, you will ruin it.
If you try to hold it, you will lose it.
~ portion of Twenty-Nine ~

Peace is easily maintained;
Trouble is easily overcome before it starts.
The brittle is easily shattered;
The small is easily scattered.

Deal with it before it happens.
Set things in order before there is confusion.
~ portion of Sixty-Four ~

A good soldier is not violent.
A good fighter is not angry.
A good winner is not vengeful.
A good employer is humble.
~ portion of Sixty-Eight ~

Not Going To Happen

Last week Paul Krugman wrote about how our new president needs to hold the former Bush administration accountable for their various illegal activities. On Monday night, Keith Olbermann of MSNBC sang a similar tune. In fact, many pundits have called on President Obama to be the voice of the American people by sending a message that this kind of crap will not be tolerated.

Folks, get a grip. It's not going to happen. Already, our new president is talking about "looking forward". And who can blame him?

While the mainstream media has made it appear that the Bushies were constitutional renegades and that the Congress was in the dark much of the time, information has slowly leaked out that the room wasn't as dark as it seemed. Many key congressional leaders -- on both sides of the aisle -- knew about a lot of this muck LONG before we did and did nothing to stop it.

That is precisely why nothing is going to happen. If Congress were to haul Bush, Cheney and their compartriots before various committees, it would expose many of the very same people conducting the so-called "investigation". So, a lot of our Congressional leaders will talk tough, but in the end, it will be just that -- talk.

It will be left to the historians to judge if Bush et. al. were criminals or not.

The Night Before

For two men (and their families), I'm guessing tonight is surreal. For one, George W. Bush, he will go to sleep tonight as President of the United States of America, but by afternoon, he will no longer hold this title. For the other, Barack Obama, he will go to sleep tonight as a private citizen and, by the time he goes to sleep tomorrow night, HE will be the President.

Regardless of one's political perspective or personal opinion of these two men, I think we each can understand the range of emotions each will go through over the next 12 hours or so.

Who hasn't begun a new job or started at a new school? Remember the butterflies in your stomach the night before? There's usually a combination of anxiety and anticipation. Now multiply such feelings by a factor of 10,000 and you might be in the ballpark of feeling what Mr. Obama is feeling.

By the same token, who hasn't ended a job or graduated from a school? Remember the butterflies in your stomach the night before? There's usually a combination of anxiety and anticipation. Now multiply such feelings by a factor of 10,000 and you might be in the ballpark of feeling what Mr. Bush is feeling.

Of course, most anyone reading this -- and certainly NOT the person writing it -- will ever serve as US President. Consequently, we can only imagine an approximation of the emotions being experienced by Obama and Bush. That said, whether a person is about to become president of a nation, a person beginning a new job as an accountant or young person getting set to enter high school, the basic emotional array is much the same.

I just wonder if either gentleman will get much sleep tonight.

X Marks This Spot

Of course, today is Martin Luther King Day. In years past, I have tended to write a post about the words and thoughts of this man of peace -- one of my heroes. Today, however, I'm going to do something a bit different. Instead of offering a trove of quotes from MLK, all the quotes shown below were stated or written by Malcolm X (another one of my heroes).

Malcolm X doesn't enjoy the same type of popularity as does King. For one thing, his earlier pronouncements when he was a follower of The Nation of Islam were seen as very threatening to the white majority. While King was unabashedly nonviolent in all his words and deeds, Malcolm X supported the use of violence as a self-defense measure.

But the Malcolm X that typically is depicted is from his early years in the black civil rights movement. Like most people, Malcom X's ideology and perspective evolved with time. Near the end of his life -- one cut short by an assassin's bullet -- Malcolm was moving closer to a position that was not altogether different than Martin's.

So, while Dr. Martin Luther King continues to hold an important position in the minds of American's today, I think it's just as important to remember the life and words of Malcolm X.

• A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.
• Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.
• You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.
• Power never takes a back step - only in the face of more power.
• Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.
• I believe in a religion that believes in freedom. Any time I have to accept a religion that won't let me fight a battle for my people, I say to hell with that religion.
• If you have no critics you'll likely have no success.
• Power in defense of freedom is greater than power in behalf of tyranny and oppression.
• You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.
• You show me a capitalist, and I'll show you a bloodsucker.
• There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.
• I believe in human beings, and that all human beings should be respected as such, regardless of their color.
  

Meating Out Illness

There are a whole host of reasons why I decided to become a vegetarian over two decades ago. One of the principle reasons is that I read numerous sources that wrote of the lack health and safety standards of the US meat industry. It would seem we haven't made that much progress since Upton Sinclair wrote "The Jungle" back in 1906.

But being a non-meat eater these days doesn't seem to be protection enough! Despite the fact that I eschew all meat, meat products and meat byproducts, I'm still subject to be on the lookout Salmonella outbreaks!

This is very galling because, according to the USDA's Food & Safety Inspection Service,

Salmonella is a gram-negative, rod-shaped bacilli that can cause diarrheal illness in humans. They are microscopic living creatures that pass from the feces of people or animals to other people or other animals...The bacteria live in the intestinal tracts of infected animals and humans.

As can be easily discerned from the above information, vegetables, fruit and grains -- in their natural state -- do not harbor this dangerous bacteria. The way these foods become contaminated is by coming into contact with animal feces (dung).

Of course, the most obvious question is: Why would things like peanuts, spinach and bean sprouts (all subject to salmonella outbreaks in the past 3 years) come in contact with animal feces? Answer: Improperly treated manure or lax health practices which led to cross-contamination.

You see, the profit motive causes many farmers and companies to need to hold down costs and this tends to mean that they cut corners. One of the popular corners to cut is in the area of safety and monitoring. Add to this the fact that meat industry PACs contribute a lot of money to candidates and elected officials and it's no wonder our meat safety and monitoring standards are so deficient!

So, even though I'm a devout vegetarian, I continue to be held an unwilling hostage by the meat and meatpacking industries. (And, to say the least, I'm not very happy about this at all!)

A Moment of Tao

In Zen Buddhism, as I understand it, there are certain moments -- moments of Zen -- when things become clearer. These moments tend to occur when we least expect them. In Christianity, such moments often are referred to as epiphanies.

This got me to thinking what would be a comparable experience for a Taoist -- a moment of Tao? I thought I would relate to you my understanding of the concept through a little story.

The sage and his student had been walking in silence for some time when the student asked, "Master, it is said that a person should learn to master a craft or a discipline. If a person is ever mindful and practices his/her craft diligently, could we say that person was embracing a moment of Tao?"

"Yes," the sage said. "That would certainly be a moment of Tao."

They walked in silence again. After awhile, the student asked, "Master, it is said that the movements of Tai Chi Chuan help to bring a person into a state of mental clarity, calmness and balance. If a person practices Tai Chi Chuan, could we say that person was embracing a moment of Tao?"

The sage nodded. "That would certainly be a moment of Tao."

They walked several miles more saying nothing. The student then asked, "Master, they say that meditation is a way to center oneself and to be like an open vessel to receive the mystery of Tao. If a person meditates, could we say that person was embracing a moment of Tao?"

"Yes," the sage said. "That too would certainly be a moment of Tao."

The student became excited. "Oh thank you, Master. I think I now understand all things. If I work at my discipline diligently, practice Tai Chi Chuan, and meditate frequently, then I will always be in a moment of Tao."

The sage stopped and looked at his student. "You do not understand at all. While all the things you mentioned certainly are moments of Tao, the list is not exhaustive."

"What other activities should I commit to?" the befuddled student asked.

"Brush your teeth every day," replied the sage.

Even more befuddled, the student asked, "Brushing my teeth will bring me closer to Tao?"

"Yes, brushing your teeth or washing dishes will be a moment of Tao," the sage replied. "In fact, everything we do every second of the day is a moment of Tao because Tao is part of us and we are part of Tao."

How 'Bout a New Constant?

It's been said that the only constant in life is change. In today's techno-modern world, change seems to come at every turn. For example, it seems like only a generation or so ago, people ascertained the current month, date and day by looking at a calendar. Before we knew it, calendars were thrown on the dust heap and were replaced by watches. Now, even watches, are passe -- People look at their cell phones!

While all these silly nilly changes may be fine and dandy for the majority of the population, I gotta tell you it's wreaking havoc on those of us with AS. Each slight modification in our general routines tends to discombobulate us and causes unknown amounts of anxiety and stress. Though I haven't checked with my fellow aspies -- because I don't do well in social situations -- I think we'd all appreciate it if you neurotypicals would get together to decide to limit change in certain areas. While this wouldn't solve our entire dilemma, a little bit of constancy would go a long way to help brighten our overall mental health!

For example, would it be too much trouble for you folks to figure out how to produce food that's not infected with Salmonella Typhimurium? The FDA used to issues warnings and recalls every now and then. Over the last generation or so, these warnings seem to come in rapid fire: hamburgers, spinach, and now, the most American of foods, peanut butter!!

It's getting to the point in which we don't know what to eat anymore. Everytime we latch on to a favorite food, it becomes infected with some vile organism and we're told not to eat it.

Another area in which a state of constancy would be most helpful is national politics. Wouldn't it be far easier simply to select one president and one vice president to serve for life?

We used to think that these various candidates and office holders supported different policies, but, if you look at the recent record, we get the same crap albeit with different faces.

Over the last generation or so, every American administration has supported war. If it wasn't George Sr., it was Bill Clinton followed by Dubya and even the new guy sounds like he likes to rattle sabers too. Ya see, same basic policy, only a different set of lips telling Americans why this is good for us.

Look at the disparity between rich and poor. It keeps growing, regardless of who sits their keester in the Oval Office. So, why keep playing musical chairs? Just decide on two people and let him stay there until they die.

Here's another suggestion. Could you all decide on one color for use at traffic lights? Everytime I stop at one, I'm met by this maddening array of color: red, green and yellow with a wide assortment of arrows and flashing words. Since most drivers seem to ignore this rainbow anyway, couldn't we just have one light in, say, the color of beige or charcoal?

Even in the safe confines of my own abode, I'm constantly besieged by change. Each time I turn on my television, there are more channels than I can shake a stick out. Since most of the programming on the networks is junk, why don't they all conglomerate into one? It would make it so much easier and less stressful to skip by one channel rather than three!

For that matter, a lot of the programming on the cable channels isn't much better. So, could we combine all the "movie" channels, sports channels, news channels and get rid of all those silly one topic channels?

I could go on and on, but I think this small list is enough to get you going. If you can get these solved post haste, let me know. I'm sure I and other aspies can supply more detailed lists in the future.

What Happens If...

Because the blogosphere is only a virtual place, what happens if the author of one of your favorite blogs dies? Blogs -- like corporations -- seem to be able to live in perpetuity. How are we to know that blogger x or y has left this earthly plane?

There are blogs that I have followed for a few years. The author will post on a continuous basis until, one day, the posts stop dead in their tracks. I check back from time to time and there are absolutely no changes. In essence, the blog becomes frozen in time.

I realize there are a bevy of possible reasons. For one, the person may have moved on to greener pastures and has simply forgotten about the blog. Maybe the person got married, moved to another locale or landed a great new job. On the other hand, maybe the person has become so sick and bedridden that they can no longer type at their computer. The last possibility is that the blogger died and there will never again be another post.

I know there's not really anything anybody can do about this, but it just makes me wonder sometimes. Why do some of my favorite blogs simply stop?

Healing...for a Price

Near the end of last year over at the Diary of a Daoist Hermit, Bill Hulet wrote a very thorough post on Miracles Explained. I quote a snippet below and then expand on one aspect of "miracles" that has always troubled me.

First of all, it is really important to understand the role that trickery has played in traditional spirituality. Any society that values holy men is bound to create a reason why people would want to mascarade as them. People want to believe, and if they do, they are quite willing to give wealth, power, and other forms of gratification to anyone that they believe has some sort of pipeline to God. And the quickest way to get people to believe that you are the "real deal" is to manifest some sort of super power. And the easiest way to do this is through some form of trickery. For example, take a look at this Christian evangelist who has already been exposed. I suspect that a great many of the miracles that have been presented in religious literature really boil down to this sort of thing---even if was not much more than a shaman figuring out how to confuse his followers with false teeth that he whittled out of basswood (complete with fangs and designed to show that he had transformed into a half-man/half-animal) and a bullroarer that he swung around his head to make an unearthly sound.

I want to start out by stating that I don't necessarily believe in miracles or faith healing. I'm not saying they don't exist or they aren't possible; only that I have, thus far, not seen enough evidence to support my belief in them.

However, if such things indeed are possible, then I would look at each conceivable example to see what the miracle worker or faith healer sought to get out of the experience.

For one thing, anyone who conducts miracles in a casual manner would, in my book, be a charlatan. We've each seen these quacks on TV or the internet. They easily move from person to person casting out devils or relieving the afflicted of their negative energy.

If a person was to have the ability to channel the healing force of a God or Tao, it's really hard for me to believe it wouldn't knock them flat on their backs for awhile. It's hard for me to fathom that it would not overwhelm their own biological systems and that they would not need a respite to recharge their battery.

Anyone who has ever received a worldly electrical shock knows what I'm referring to. It happened to me once in my teens when I -- inadvertently, of course -- tried to unplug a vacuum cleaner while coming in contact with a slight amount of water I did not see in our front hallway.

Even though this shock was very short-lived, it literally knocked me off my feet! My entire right arm felt fuzzy for several minutes and even my brain felt like, well, I can't really describe it in words. Yet here I am, over 35 years later, and I can still remember the unpleasant sensation.

So, if having a few volts run through my body for a few brief seconds felt so powerful, what would it feel like to have the power of the universe run through one's body in order to heal someone? Me thinks it would be a very powerful force indeed and not something a person could dispense lightly!!

Beyond how it is done, another consideration for me is where. Do you go to serve the afflicted where they are or do you make them come to you?

It's always amazed me that these supposed healers feel compelled to hold their "miracle" events in huge auditoriums or stadiums under the glare of TV lights. It's not like they don't know where the poor and disheveled reside.

I don't think I've ever heard of a case in which one of one these "healers" just showed up on the streets of Watts, the mountain towns of Appalachia or the slums of India. They aren't found in leper colonies, AIDS hospices or hospitals. No, it's all about making a public show and that's a good reason alone to assume it's a sham.

Finally, along with the how and where, I want to know what sort of economic considerations are expected for this "service". It's interesting to note that most evangelical faith healers are doing quite well, thank you. They seem to see nothing wrong at all with pocketing a few hundred thousand or million dollars.

For me, this is the easiest of the dead giveaways. If a person genuinely possessed the ability to heal the sick and raise the dead, then its more than obvious that they would be nothing more than a conduit for the supreme entity. In other words, the miracle would not originate from their hands; their hands would simply be the vessel.

As the conduit, it would be vulgar and immoral to accept monetary compensation for the work of someone/thing else -- a God or Tao. Not only would such a person refuse any type of compensation, but they would most likely tell the thankful to donate it to the Red Cross or the next homeless person met on the street.

So, in the Tao of The Rambling Taoist, if someone a) performs miracles in a casual manner, b) they do it as a public spectacle and/or c) they're more than willing to accept any money you wish to give them, then such person is an outright fraud and you should get far away from them.

Since that 3-part definition sums up every miracle worker or faith healer I've ever heard of, I remain unconvinced that such people truly exist.

Look Within

Without going outside, you may know the whole world.
Without looking through the window, you may sees the way of heaven.
The farther you go, the less you know.

Thus the sage knows without traveling;
He sees without looking;
He works without doing.
~ Tao Te Ching, Forty-Seven ~

For me, this verse is so straightforward and, yet concurrently, so elusive. The message itself is very clear -- whatever one seeks in a spiritual or divine way is inside each of us.

You can't find it in a book, holy or otherwise.

You can't find it in a gathering of fellow believers.

You can't find it by talking to a priest, minister, rabbi, shaman, sage or prophet.

You can't even find it by praying or conversing with anything external to you.

No, if you want to discover the ever-flowing spring of life, all you have to do is look in your own heart. It's there waiting for you to discover and embrace it!

With such a simple message, why then is it so elusive?

Our hearts are covered up with layer upon layer of hubris and vanities. It's like standing in an abandoned and neglected field, overtaken by decades of weeds and brambles, to try to find a pinhead. There are so many thorns and stickers in our way that most of us give up without much effort. It seems like such an impossible task.

But where a neglected field needs a mower or a machete and hours of backbreaking work to clear it, all we need to find the source within us is silence. Unfortunately, silence is a skill that few of us ever obtain.

It's certainly not hard to understand in this modern world. Noise is everywhere. It's on the streets, in our homes AND in our minds. The very concept of inner silence (i.e., peace) seems so foreign and unobtainable. But it IS within our grasp.

However, when we try to scoop it up all at once, it slips through our fingers again and again. The harder we try to hold it, the quicker it fades away. We become royally frustrated and decide to give up on the enterprise altogether.

Yet, even as we walk away from ourselves, deep down we each know the key to unlock the door. Silence comes with patience and practice.

Inside My Little Box

I talked to my brother today for the first time in several months. He's had "phone issues" which have not provided him with the means to call out long distance. I never received an explanation of how (or if?) this situation had been resolved, but there he was on the phone.

Amongst the many topics we got caught up on, one concerned some of my quirky behaviors as a child -- ones that exerted a far greater influence on Sean's life than I ever realized! He told me he has done some research on Asperger's Syndrome (AS) and is certain that it definitely describes his rather odd older brother.

Back in the day when our nuclear family was still intact (before my parent's divorce, remarriage, then re-divorce), one of our routine family outings was to go to Zeppi's Pizza & Pub near the intersection of 85th & Wornall Rd. in Kansas City, MO.

Both of my parents LOVED pizza and Zeppi's Pizza, in particular. Though, as an adult, I too love pizza, back when I was younger, I decided I did not like it.

Years later I surmised WHY I thought this. My father was a cigar smoker and his taste buds were, shall we say, a bit deadened. Consequently, eating a pizza with Italian sausage on it wasn't enough for him. He had to shake red pepper over the whole thing too. I've never liked spicy "hot" food and so I associated pizza with spicy hot.

Consequently, before we could go to Zeppi's, we first had to stop at Smack's Hamburgers, so my little brother and I could get our meal to go. As a very routinized individual, I ALWAYS ordered the same thing -- a plain hamburger with ketchup. No pickles. No mustard. No cheese. Just meat, bun and ketchup.

Sean always ordered the same thing. However, I've now learned that he did this solely to be like big brother. He actually longed for the day in which I would move outside of my routine, a day that never came. So, he kept ordering a meal he didn't really want. He says it took him years to get up the nerve to order something different.

This whole scenario puzzles me because I certainly didn't think I had anything to do with what he ordered. It would have been quite fine with me if ordered a different sandwich each time. I've never demanded that other people conform to my personal rituals; I only ask that they don't try to divert me from them.

But this unawareness is very common for people with AS. If I had been better at picking up social cues, maybe I would have noticed that my brother kept ordering something other than what he preferred. Alas, I never noticed.

Sean also remembered a time (after my parents were divorced, I think) when father purchased the wrong kind of jelly for my daily peanut butter and jelly sandwich. According to Sean, I became so discombobulated that I ended up smashing two plates against the wall. Though I don't recall this incident, I believe him because it sounds like something I could have done.

The great thing now is that I'm an adult and I live on my own with my wife. I can easily keep to my rituals without unduly influencing or upsetting other people. Thank goodness I have a patient and understanding wife!!

Impartial

One of my central rules for blogging is to only write when the words wish to be known. Early this morning the words were clamoring to be exposed, but I was so brain dead from having read The Green Mile for hours on end that I had a great deal of difficulty harnessing their flow. So, what started out as a long exposition (the previous post) became shortened as my brain synapses kept misfiring.

The first line in verse five of the Tao Te Ching reads, "Heaven and earth are impartial". This same concept appears in other places in the book as well. Tao exists for the good and wicked, the just and unjust, the peaceful and non-peaceful, humankind and every other life form. We can each draw on it, if we so choose.

Unlike the depictions of religious monotheism, Tao doesn't care nor cry when we hurt. It doesn't rejoice when we are happy. It doesn't come to our rescue when we call out for it and it doesn't punish us when we go astray.

Tao simply is. It nourishes the flow of life everywhere. It's what keeps the universe going. It's nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Each of us is part of it and it is part of each of us. In fact, the best way to find it is not to look without, but to look within.

Everything is Tao.

Variations on The Green Mile

For a slow, plodding reader, I just set a personal record of sorts. I began reading The Green Mile by Stephen King at around 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday and finished the entire 538 page paperback at 11:00 p.m. on Thursday. Needless to say, it was a book I simply couldn't seem to put down!! I kept saying to myself that I needed to use the facilities or get something to eat or go to sleep; an hour later though, I was still reading away.

Of course, as I noted previously, my interest in reading the novel was piqued by the movie of the same name. So, I already knew the general arc of the storyline. I also understood there would be differences -- some major, some slight. Knowing the basic story premise helped to spur me along as I anticipated several key events.

If you haven't read the book or viewed the film, then a lot of what I will write below may not make as much sense as it might otherwise. I'm not going to provide a book report either. I'm just going to assume that those of you who are reading this know the story as King laid it out.

While the author made several references to God in the book, the all mighty doesn't figure prominently in what I got out it. In fact, I think the story could have been told just the same by referencing Tao, nature or nothing at all.

In fact, I'll go even a bit further. One of the key themes of the story illustrates what led me away from Christianity and the very concept of a personified supreme being.

The hero of the story is man named John Coffey (like the drink, only spelled different). He possesses unknown powers to heal the sick and to feel all the pain and misery this world has to offer. At one juncture, he describes the latter ability as being like tiny shards of glass poking him in his eyes and head.

If there was a personified God, then he would be John Coffey to the nth degree 100 trillion times over. Every time any one of his creatures screamed out in pain, misery or agony, he would feel it and, since there are billions upon billions of creatures (animal, plant and mineral), it would feel like trillions upon trillions of shards of glass cutting into his very soul.

His existence would be nothing like nirvana; it would be more like an oozing open sore. In essence, heaven would become hell with no end. What supreme being -- regardless of its omnipotence and omnipresence -- could survive such a torturous existence? Why would it want to?

The ONLY way it could ever hope to survive would be to become absolutely apathetic toward the evils of humankind -- to have the ability to see utter pain and agony with a casual disinterest. That is, of course, possible, but it immediately contradicts the notion of a personified being; a being that cares for each of us as unique individuals.

When I realized this back in my 30s (though, I think I realized this from the very beginning), it dawned on me that no one was up there listening to my prayers. There was no great old geezer in the sky keeping tabs on me or anyone else. Whatever it is had to be wholly IM-personal. And this brought me to Taoism.

Inadequate Description

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
~ Tao Te Ching, a portion of One ~

These are the opening sentences to the Tao Te Ching and I find myself returning to them again and again. In their simplest form, these two lines merely point out that Tao is so much greater than the capabilities of human intellectual that, any attempt to boil it down to a word, sentence or paragraph, is wholly inaccurate.

This afternoon, however, I was struck by a very elementary realization. How can any of us expect to be able to define the mother of all things when we are totally incapable even of defining ourselves? It would be like trying to describe a car and yet not being able to describe a wheel, engine or turn signal.

I can certainly describe myself to you. I can list my height, weight, gender, preferences, beliefs, etc. But I can't tell you what makes me, me. I know that I'm more than the sum of my body parts and processes. I know that there is something more -- some call it soul, others spirit. But, try as I might, I can't definitively tell you what it is.

So, if I can't adequately define the entity that I intimately know the best -- myself -- how on earth could I define and describe something so immense that, in comparison, I look like one blade of grass or one grain of sand?

In my mind's eye, only an extremely arrogant and pompous person would even think that they could do justice in trying to define Tao (or God, Allah, Jehovah or whatever else). We're talking egotism to the millionth degree.

Reading a Book

Unlike most people I know, I rarely read fiction. While my dad can plow through 2 - 3 volumes of historical fiction per week, I can probably count all the books of fiction I've read in 51+ years on my fingers and toes! My reading tastes tend to be a tad bit odd -- rather natural for a quirky individual with AS.

In my teens, the only outright fiction I read -- other than To Kill a Mockingbird -- was what I was assigned in class. For my own amusement, I tended to read books about nature or real live people. The only exception to this rule was theatrical plays. I read almost every play written by Edward Albee, Tennessee Williams and several others.

I can't tell you why, but I liked reading stuff that went like this:

Edward (crosses the room behind the faded sofa, speaks pensively): I think I've found it.
Mary (entering the room from stage left): Are you sure that's it?

In later years, I developed a liking for reference books. I can remember many a day browsing through an encyclopedia or almanac. To this day, I always keep a few reference-type books near my sleeping mat. I've been perusing one for the last several weeks that discusses the origins of words.

Over the past decade or so, the kind of book I most frequently read is philosophical, in nature. I have a rather large library of books written by Alan Watts plus Karl Marx. Light reading to be sure!!

Today, however, I picked up a book at the library that falls outside of my typical interests -- a book of fiction and, though I'm generally a plodding reader, I've raced through the first 150 pages already. The book is The Green Mile written by Stephen King.

Tonight I realized something really odd about the few books of fiction I have voluntarily read -- in almost every case, what spurs me to read the book is watching the movie derived from the book first. In the present case, I caught the last third of the film, The Green Mile, on cable recently and this is what piqued my interest.

This same pattern has been borne out in any other work of fiction I can think of. I read each of the following books only after falling in love with the movie first:

• Deliverance -- James Dickey
• Catch-22 -- Joseph Heller
• The World According to Garp -- John Irving
• A River Runs Through It -- Norman Maclean
• It -- Stephen King (the only other book by King that I've ever read)
• The Lilies of the Field -- William E. Barrett
  
• and, of course, To Kill a Mockingbird -- Harper Lee

I'm sure I may have read one or two more, but that's all that comes to mind off the top of my head.

Like I indicated above, I think this is sort of weird, but I is what I is. :-)

Taking Time to Say Thank You!

This month represents the beginning of my fifth year blogging from The Rambling Taoist. Like most people, my efforts have come in fits and starts. There have been times when I spend a lot of time contemplating and writing here; at other times, I post a few entries per month here and there.

Most of 2008 was a down time. I didn't return to full-time blogging until November and I've been going strong ever since. I think this burst will last for some time and, maybe, until the end of my days.

As I've discussed in various entries, I've recently come to grips with the fact I have Asperger's Syndrome (AS). While initially this diagnosis really threw me for a loop, I'm growing far more comfortable with understanding my quirky peculiarities. One of these quirks is that I don't belong to a face-to-face social network. Here in South Bend, there's no one I hang out with outside of my family (wife and pets).

But through the process of blogging I have found a sense of community that would otherwise be lacking. I've made acquaintances with Donna, Hayduke, Forest Wisdom, Berd (who I've actually met in person -- we're both Washington guys!), Twisted Branch, Casey, Howard, Tom, Wolf, Samson, ASpieBoy, the FallenMonk and so many others. Some of you I only know as Annonymous, but I often can tell the difference between the various ones who stop by here.

Every visitor who leaves a comment -- and especially those of you who I have had the pleasure of conversing with via email -- has enriched my life. For these reasons, I simply want to say THANK YOU to each and everyone.

Your virtual companionship has meant more to me than, I suspect, you will ever know!!!

Coon Tail Dee-Light

In the efforts of FULL disclosure, I'm a vegetarian and have been for at least 15 years. Consequently, discussions concerning the consumption of any meat or meat byproduct tend to turn my stomach. That said, the following article that I read today from the Kansas City Star, turns my stomach in more somersaults than I previously thought possible.

Raccoon: It's what's for dinner
By LEE HILL KAVANAUGH
The Kansas City Star

He rolls into the parking lot of Leon’s Thriftway in an old, maroon Impala with a trunk full of frozen meat.

Raccoon — the other dark meat.

In five minutes, Montrose, Mo., trapper Larry Brownsberger is sold out in the lot at 39th Street and Kensington Avenue. Word has gotten around about how clean his frozen raccoon carcasses are. How nicely they’re tucked up in their brown butcher paper. How they almost look like a trussed turkey … or something.

His loyal customers beam as they leave, thinking about the meal they’ll soon be eating.

That is, as soon as the meat is thawed. Then brined. Soaked overnight. Parboiled for two hours. Slow-roasted or smoked or barbecued to perfection.

Raccoon, which made the first edition of The Joy of Cooking in 1931, is labor-intensive but well worth the time, aficionados say.

“Good things come to those who wait,” says A. Reed, 86, who has been eating raccoon since she was a girl.

“This right here,” she says, holding up a couple of brown packages tied with burlap string, “this is a great value. And really good eatin’. Best-kept secret around.”

Raccoons go for $3 to $7 — each, not per pound — and will feed about five adults. Four, if they’re really hungry. Those who dine on raccoon meat sound the same refrain: It’s good eatin’...

I suppose we'll all know when grilled raccoon goes mainstream when it becomes the featured secret ingredient on Iron Chef America.

I can't wait. Yum. Yum.

Taking a Spin Around the Yard

I don't know about the rest of you, but one of the aspects of blogging I so enjoy is reading about the travels of others wanderers on their own chosen paths. Often times, their words, contemplations and musings strike a definite chord within me and cause me to look at an issue or concept anew.

Since I try to offer as many links to my fellow wanderers as I can find -- both explicitly Taoist or not -- I thought I would take the time to provide excerpts from a few of them in the hope that you too will find their blogs inspiring. The following sample is not extensive and I will try to remember to repeat this exercise every so often.

From A Quiet Watercourse -- The Three Wise Monkeys
I was meditating the other day when something came to my mind about these 3 little fellows.

So we have “See No Evil”, “Speak No Evil” and “Hear No Evil”. There are a few meanings attached to these guys, from outright denial of evil (head in the sand) to a refusal to perform certain actions in case they propagate evil. My own personal focus tends to be a little more on the inner world and I’d like to journey that way, if you’ll consent to walk with me for a minute.

The most obvious meaning is the physical one, literally a “head in the sand” approach, but I feel that this misses the mark. At least, it does for me. I would aim, personally, for the inner eyes, ears and mouth. Not so much a denial of negativity, a refusal to see, but a sense of not allowing your inner self to be blinded, deafened or struck dumb by negativity.

For me there is a sense of trying to see and hear through what may seem to be a simple act of negativity to what underlies it, trying not to let the immediate feelings block that perception...

From Gathering Wisdom -- Why Do We Love?
Love is eternal and is a pervasive, integral part of our True Nature, Source, Self, or God. Everything, including us, springs forth from this infinite Source to enter this material existence. Once here, the Law of Opposites comes into play to create the contrast necessary for everything to assume it's respective definition or form. Without this contrast, nothing would make any sense and our world would appear as an ever-changing chaos overwhelming the senses and causing complete panic from the perception of our Egos. Therefore, Yin and Yang, permeate our entire physical existence and our perception of the material realm...

From The Gnarled Oak -- The Origin of Evil
Evil does not exist as an independent entity operating on is own for the sake of some sense of warped justice or spiteful vengence. All so-called evil conditions, mind states and behaviors stem from the not-knowing of ignorance. Further more, Evil is empty of self and impermanent, arising for a moment and then fading away. The true original sin is not-knowing or ignorance. Human beings are born with the capacity to perform skillful or unskillful actions. And we perform these actions based on the predisposition of our inherited genetic characteristics, environment and mental conditioning. Or for short our inherent nature. We truly are victims of this inherent nature. But we are not completely without some free will, although our intention is only a small factor in the grand scheme of things. We do have the capacity to choose wisely. We can stop evil from arising if we so choose to. Unfortunately our inherent nature seems to be a more powerful factor than our capacity to choose...

From Forest Wisdom -- "a patient willing descent into the grass": A Reflection on Death
Is it only upon reaching "middle age" that most of us really begin to think about the reality of our own death? When we wake up one day and realize that barring accident or disease (which, of course, can take anyone at any age)--were we to live out a life of "normal" longevity--we have now passed a point...we are closer to our graves than to our cradles.

I'm certainly no stranger to such ponderings. Ironically perhaps (but not surprisingly really, if you stop to think about it) such "reflection on death" actually makes one think very deeply and intentionally about one's life...

From Church of the Churchless -- Reality isn't black and white
While it might look like Taoists are big on black and white, this yin-yang symbol actually speaks otherwise.

Yes, there are dualities in the universe. Lots of them: male/female, positive/negative, wave/particle, good/bad ... and on and on and on.

But it's those little circles that tell the most meaningful part of the story -- how there's yin within yang, and yang within yin. The farthest reach of black blends with the beginning of white, and vice versa.

If we think in terms of this or that, we're not seeing reality rightly.

The world appears in shades of gray to eyes attuned to how things are, rather than how we imagine or conceive them to be...

The Side Road of Excess

If I have even a little sense,
I will walk on the main road and my only fear will be
of straying from it.
Keeping to the main road is easy,
But people loved to be sidetracked.

When the court is arrayed in splendor,
The fields are full of weeds,
And the granaries are bare.
Some wear gorgeous clothes,
Carry sharp swords,
and indulge themselves with food and drink;
They have more possessions than they can use.
They are robber barons.
This is certainly not the way of Tao
~ Tao Te Ching, Fifty-Three ~

Though these words were first put pen to paper thousands of years ago, they could have just as easily been written during contemporary times! It really seems like an apt description of what is going on the U.S. today.

It seems like every other day a new news report comes out about this or that executive, for a company that is receiving taxpayer dollars via the federal bailout, is using said money to fund extravagant purchases. They plead poverty and come hat in hand begging before Congress and, once the money is secured, go on living at a level for above those bailing them out!

In essence, this is but one illustration of life out of balance.

This is not to suggest that every person should earn the same amount and that all things in life must be equal. If we look to nature, we see a constant ebb and flow of the life force. Sometimes a species is on the rise, while, at other times, they're in decline. But Mother Nature seems to have an uncanny ability to self-correct excesses and deficiencies. Mother Nature keeps to the main road.

Human society could learn a lot by mimicking the natural world. We suffer from crime and war because robber barons decked out in gorgeous clothes flaunt their excess in the face of the poor. We maintain police and armies to keep the poor from bothering the rich and their excess of possessions.

Remove the excess and one could remove much of the stress and misery in this world. Excess leads those who have to the stress of retention and obtaining more. Excess leads those who have not to the stress of yearning and trying to devise cunning ways to steal.

Therefore, excess is what sidetracks us from holding to the center and being one with Tao.