North Pole (UPI) -- In an extraordinary move today, Kris Kringle and Jesus of Nazareth held a joint news conference in which they announced the cancellation of Christmas. Both expressed a bit of sadness, but they felt humanity had left them no other choice.
"This is SUPPOSED to be the season of goodwill and peace," the Jewish carpenter remarked, "but, it's hard to see much of that going around with all the fighting in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Egypt, Syria, Bahrain, Yemen, Somalia and who knows where else." He added that recent efforts by President Obama and the U.S. Congress to reduce benefits to the poor and the overall evisceration of the social safety net certainly violated the substance of goodwill.
For his part, the jolly elf said he'd taken a cue from the current president and his predecessor. "A lot of the children throughout the world have been extra good this year," noted Kringle, "but, their leaders have not." Since both presidents have instituted the "you're either with us or against us" policy, Kringle said he felt that he had to judge society based on overall policies, not individual merit.
Both of these important leaders said they hoped things would turn around in 2012, but neither was willing to hold his breath. "The way the world is going," Jesus lamented, "we may end up scrapping the Christmas season altogether."
Asked what each planned to do this week instead of the usual, both were at a loss for words. Jesus said he'd probably go home and spend some time with his dog. Kringle and his wife plan to go to Antarctica for a little R & R.
Have you ever heard of the Christmas truce of 1914? Where British and German soldiers randomly stopped fighting and began drinking and singing Christmas carols for the entire night? Sadly that would never happen today.
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_truce#Christmas_1914
I was in a Chinese take-out place this afternoon, picking up some gau gee and cha siu, and the Year of Dragon calendar (for 2012--4709 or 4710, depending on how you calculate it) was already on the wall. It suggests that in 2012 there would be major readjustments in political and economic events, and that humanity would be getting a much needed facelift. A Mayan Dragon, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteI am still compelled to wish you a bright and Merry Christmas...goodwill and peace (Te) start at home, as you have noted in TTC 54.
And on the other hand, don't forget the wild man:
http://www.thebirdman.org/Index/Others/Others-Doc-Religion&Spirituality/+Doc-Religion&Spirituality-Christmas/OriginsOfSanta.htm
and the amanita mushrooms:
http://animamrecro.wordpress.com/2006/12/30/hallucinogenic-mushrooms-and-santa-claus/
Ho, ho, ho! Ha, ha, ha!
KW,
ReplyDeleteYes, I have heard and read about that. Pretty amazing.
BR,
How 'bout Happy Solstice?
I love Happy Solstice! I worked for a company a few years ago that was named "Nova-Sol." I had to arrange the holiday party and I called it "Nova-Solstice." I thought it was terribly clever, but a lot of people were offended.
ReplyDeleteYang rising!