The other day my wife and I were talking about a situation involving another person. After listening for awhile, I simply stated that this person should try to go with the flow. Incredulously, my wife looked at me and uttered something to the effect of "You can't just lazily do things. Some people face time constraints, deadlines and blah, blah, blah."
I put my hand up in a stop position. "What?" my wife asked with a peeved voice. "Where did you get the notion that to 'go with the flow' means any particular speed or pace?" I said. "The flow is dictated by the situation."
Later, I realized this is a common misconception. I thought of a lot of situations in the past when others made similar comments. I realized that, in our modern western society, the idea of naturally moving with the circumstances brings on a connotation of deep contemplation and slow movement.
Sometimes, if the brook is meandering lazily, this is precisely the tact to take. If we jump into the stream full force, we'll kick up big slashes and muddy the water. Our aggressive action will stymie our objective.
On the other hand, if we come upon a raging river, slow movement might allow the undertow to take us under. There are times when swift action is needed. This is not to suggest that we should fight the river on its own terms, but we may err if we don't meet a strong challenge with a strong resolve.
In the end, all 'going with the flow' really means is to move seamlessly with the movements present in the given situation, to blend in naturally and organically; not to force our will.
I put my hand up in a stop position. "What?" my wife asked with a peeved voice. "Where did you get the notion that to 'go with the flow' means any particular speed or pace?" I said. "The flow is dictated by the situation."
Later, I realized this is a common misconception. I thought of a lot of situations in the past when others made similar comments. I realized that, in our modern western society, the idea of naturally moving with the circumstances brings on a connotation of deep contemplation and slow movement.
Sometimes, if the brook is meandering lazily, this is precisely the tact to take. If we jump into the stream full force, we'll kick up big slashes and muddy the water. Our aggressive action will stymie our objective.
On the other hand, if we come upon a raging river, slow movement might allow the undertow to take us under. There are times when swift action is needed. This is not to suggest that we should fight the river on its own terms, but we may err if we don't meet a strong challenge with a strong resolve.
In the end, all 'going with the flow' really means is to move seamlessly with the movements present in the given situation, to blend in naturally and organically; not to force our will.
Well spotted. Although I use the term a lot it is useful to state that the flow can be anything and not that lazy flow that is inferred by many.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and you expressed your thoughts about this really well. I wholeheartedly agree with your definition of "going with the flow". However, some issues with semantics and interpretation could easily arise out of this discussion. Point at hand: I mostly go with the flow in my own life... sometimes it is a thoughtful, contemplative flow and sometimes it as a jumping off the cliff bungee jumping type of flow. But more often than not, my flow seems to contradict the flow of the around me. So, I suppose me going with the flow means I often go against the flow of others'. One of my "challenges" as I mature (ahem...) is to find a way to balance 'my flow' with the flow of others... To balance my sense of irreverence towards many of the rules and norms of others with a respect for where other people are on their journey....
ReplyDeleteI'm mostly there.
You've hit on a Taoist thought that has helped my inner strength to grow.
ReplyDeleteFlow also applies to our own being. We learn behavior and the ways we're supposed to be. But, what I've been taught about the right way to be isn't always what my nature is. So, I then do and believe things that go against my own flow. When I do see where my flow runs, I have so much more confidence in the decisions I make in my life.
In my river, instead of jumping from rock to rock to move through life, I'm more centered moving with the flow even though I may crash into rocks on the way.
I felt myself sympathising with your wife :)
ReplyDeleteWomen are so very different.
I am as different to my wife as chalk is to cheese. Yet we fit so well together.
I do one thing at a time, with minute attention to detail.
She does many things at once, not all of them with her full attention.
But she generally gets more done than I do.
Well, fluid dynamics can be incredibly complex and hard to figure out, you know... the math is quite complicated...
ReplyDelete