Off To See the Doc

Trey Smith

This afternoon Della will go to our local hospital to have her breasts poked, prodded and photographed (with x-rays). Working with her doctor, they will seek to determine if the tiny spot seen in her recent first-phase mammogram is anything to be concerned about. It could be the beginnings of a malignant tumor, but chances are just as great, if not more so, that the spot represents any of a number of things that do not indicate breast cancer.

Needless to say, we are both hoping that the results point to the latter. Still, we are just as aware that the results may point to the former. Both of us have been trying to "go with the flow" by not thinking too much about what the results might portend. I would guess that I am handling the situation a bit better than Della because, of course, it's not my chest that will be examined. This is not to suggest that I am not anxious -- I'm just a tad bit less anxious than she is.

This is new territory for me. Because of the strange makeup of my personality -- the fact that my autistic brain doesn't deal well with surprises -- I tend to run through all the negative outcomes I can think of so that, IF they occur, I have a response I've already run through to fall back on. In other words, my general tendency is to prepare for the worst. If something other than the worst result occurs, I am elated.

This time around I'm trying to stay even keel. As always, I've run through the various good and bad outcomes from my perspective, but I am choosing not to dwell on any of them. Well, at least, not for another hour or two! I'm fairly sure I will be a nervous wreck by 4:00 p.m.!!!