A Misguided Poet

Trey Smith

I've mentioned before that I used to be a poet -- back in the day when I was filled with constant angst. While most of my poetry served as a sort of catharsis from unrequited love or my feelings of isolation (due to being a very strange person), I also had/have a very goofy side.

One of the reasons my grades were nothing to brag about during my first two years of college is that I spent a good deal of time goofing off during lectures. These lectures were held in a huge hall with 200 or 300 other students. My pal Roger and me would sit at the very back and, instead of taking studious notes, we wrote song parodies!

In the space below, I will share two of them. I'm not suggesting these are my best song parodies, just two I ran across recently.

Sixteen Sandals
(a parody of Sixteen Candles by The Crests -- listen to the real song here.)

Sixteen sandals
and not a pair to wear
for none of them match
my eyes or my hair.

Open the closet.
I need to find some shoes,
but they're all gone now
as my thongs are too!

Like in some dream
I was a Roman queen
'n sandals were the prettiest, sexiest things I'd ever seen.

Sixteen sandals
and not a one looks right
with the dress I've chosen
to wear tonight!

Like in some dream
I was a Roman queen
'n sandals were the prettiest, sexiest things I'd ever seen.

Sixteen sandals
and not a pair to wear
for none of them match
my eyes or my hair.
Yes, my eyes or my hair!

~

We're Watching Old Reruns
(a parody of We've Only Just Begun by the Carpenters -- listen to the real song here.)

We're watching old reruns...tonight.
Dragnet and Wagon Train.
Flip the channels all through the night
watching old reruns.

Before the rising sun, we try
to find dear Gilligan
or maybe that Super Stud!
We're watching old reruns.

Sharing the plot lines that we've memorized.
Recalling phrases word-by-word.
Wishing that James Kirk would materialize
to tell us that Checkov was a nerd (so he heard)!

But Lucille Ball is dead...we know!
Why did she have to leave?
No sequels for the Ri-car-dos.
We're watching old reruns.

Sharing the theme songs we can harmonize.
Singing like David Cass-i-dy.
The Flying Nun had us mystified
as did the Partridge Family.

Still, Rin-Tin-Tin is gone...the nerve
to leave us all alone.
The only thing that makes us smile
is watching old reruns.