Trey Smith
The Mormon Church has been in the national news recently because of the practice of baptizing dead people, particularly those who were not Mormon when alive. Many of these proxy baptisms have been of Jews and Jewish organizations are none too pleased about it!
I think everyone should chill out. This actually is a great idea. In fact, I am completely on board with it. This service the Mormons are offering the world could easily revolutionize life as we know it.
The first thing it would seem to mean is that everybody -- except our beneficent Mormon brothers and sisters -- can now turn their backs on any and all religion. Why waste our time, energy and money going to church? We neither need to learn to nor live a moral life anymore because we still can receive first class seating after we're dead.
Not only do we not need to pay any attention to religious precepts, we can usher in a new era of hedonism! Think of the possibilities here, people!! Unlimited amounts of sex with whomever and whenever we like. We can abuse substances and overeat like there is no tomorrow.
We can be mean to others without the slightest pangs of guilt. We can lie, cheat, curse and covet until the cows come home. We can become champions of debauchery and it won't matter a bit.
After leading lives filled with all sorts of carnal pleasures, we'll die at some point. But none of us ever will have to worry about being sent to the fiery furnace for our rampant immorality because of our blessed Mormon comrades. They will send us a reprieve at the last moment and, since few of us will want to be punished for our innumerable misdeeds, we will grab the brass ring and praise the Mormon version of God.
And here's the best part of all. Let's say those whacky Mormons have it all wrong and there is NO afterlife. With no afterlife, there is no divine punishment. Regardless of all the evil things we perpetrated in this life, we get off scot-free! In death, we will be untouchable and unassailable.
So, let's hear it for the Mormons! Hip, Hip, Hooray!!
I'd never thought of it that way before!
ReplyDeleteActually, neither had I. It just hit me like some great epiphany. :-D
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