Trey Smith
In Huainanzi, Entry 59, I talked about a conference that I had worked to development that eventually was undermined by a higher up. What started off as a major event to address a pressing issue turned into a dinky event that was poorly attended which defeated the whole purpose of holding the conference in the first place.
In the aforementioned post, I left one thing unsaid and, in the comments section, the always astute Baroness Radon honed in on that point. She suggested that the higher up pulled the plug, so to speak, because she feared she wouldn't get the credit for a successful conference. In essence, by doing all the work needed myself, I wasn't behaving like a "team player."
Long before I had ever heard the word, Taoism, I can say that I truly embody at least one Taoist principle: staying in the background. I have never worried about the public accolades that most people seek for successful work. My motivation is for the conference, event, program or project to have a successful outcome. Let others sop up all the "glory."
By my willingness to shoulder much of the responsibility for getting the work done and yet having no need to be recognized for it publicly, I think I am a consummate team player. The success of the team or group is what motivates me.
The majority of people aren't like this and so most people don't believe I am being genuine. All throughout my life I have had issues with others being suspicious of my motives -- higher ups worried that I am underhandedly trying to usurp their "place" and colleagues worried that I am trying to outshine them. I have told them until I was blue in the face that they don't understand what drives me, but it rarely has made a difference in their attitudes.
I now realize that my autism plays into the situation. I have a problem with being recognized and lauded. It makes me very uncomfortable. I am much more in my element when people leave me alone to get the work done and that's why, for much of my life, I have been happy to take on the behind-the-scenes administrative jobs. For me, the greatest affirmation that I'm doing a good job is that the wheels of an organization roll so smoothly that no one realizes that there is someone in the background keeping the wheels well oiled!
This post is part of a series. For an introduction, go here.
Oh hardly astute, just common-sense. Yo may have noticed that in the political workings of things I have a realpolitik sensibility, although I don't want to get into the fray. Interesting how you ran with this. In most corporate situations, team playing and leadership is about delegation, trust and common goals. It still sounds like you wanted to do it all yourself. I have a friend who has organization behaviors much like you describe--she may in fact have some degree of autism or Asperger's, I have come to realize. Once the office threw its customary birthday surprise cake celebration for her. She walked into the kitchen, turned around and left and shut herself up in her office. She also liked to work alone, kid of in the background and had a habit of over-delivering, gilding lilies that no one appreciated. She never understood why.
ReplyDeleteSorry for all the typos above, but you get my drift, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for sharing responsibilities as long as others hold up their end. Too often, I do my job and, when others don't do theirs, then I end up having to do it anyway. It's much easier to agree to handle it myself because I can organize things more efficiently and I don't have try to fix other people's mistakes after the fact.
ReplyDeleteIn this particular case, however, there wasn't anybody else. I pitched the idea over summer break for a conference in early Fall. The SGA president liked the idea originally with the proviso that I would do all the work, but when I did do all the work, she wasn't happy.