Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The American Theocracy - Tattoos and Piercings

In the new American Theocracy, tattoo parlors and body art shops will be taboo! Since many conservative Christians consider such body adornment to be the work of the devil and/or bound up in evil pagan rituals, body art will no longer be tolerated.

The legislation passed to make these sorts of things patently illegal -- both for business owners and consumers -- will be justified by I Corinthians 6:19-20:
What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
Ironically enough, while the "body as temple" argument will be utilized against tattoos and piercings, little emphasis will be focused on obesity!

With women forced back into the home, preparing the daily meals will become one of the highlights of their day. Magazines like Good Housekeeping will be resurrected and women will pore through them to discover new methods for preparing leg of lamb, pot roast and yummy butter cake!

America will continue down the road toward treating our bodies not like temples, but like 80,000 seat stadiums!

If you're interested in reading more from this tongue-in-cheek series, go to the The American Theocracy Index page.

1 comment:

  1. don't forget about the "devils music" i.e. rock, metal, pop... basically anything except christian worship music and country lol

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