Monday, August 30, 2010

The American Theocracy - Number Five

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you.
~ Exodus 20:12, RSV ~
Application: It will be mandated via Executive Order that ALL school curriculum will include instruction in the principles of honoring one's parents. This order will be extended to include the honoring of elected leaders because as Jesus is head of the Church and husbands are head of each household, the government will be viewed as surrogate parents for all citizens.

Exceptions: As part of the system of honoring parents, child protective services will be eliminated. Most child abuse laws will be stricken from the books because sparing the rod goes against the will of God. New statutes will be added that make it a crime to teach children about other religions and/or to not see to it that each child is enrolled in Sunday School.

While parents are to be honored, this dictate will not apply to single parents who are poor and non-white. Children will be given the right to petition the court to be removed from single parent households and placed into a family with a mother AND a father. Single mothers will be strongly encouraged to marry any "upstanding" man who proposes marriage.

If you're interested in reading more from this tongue-in-cheek series, go to the The American Theocracy Index page.

5 comments:

  1. In short all women, like the mythical Eve, would get a bad deal.

    Women need superior rights, not equal rights, because many men will be violent jerks if given the opportunity. Therefore men need to have tight controls on them in order to protect women.

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  2. Ooh, if ya think women are getting the shaft in this one, you're just gonna love the next two posts. This one is child's play compared to them. ;-)

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  3. Coming to a screen near you "The Wrath of Jehovah and His Minions".

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  4. i find this one unlikely. more probably, the government will make parents do all the work and assume all the credit. i can see the authority argument, but i see parental laws getting stronger, not weaker. in the future, it's more probable that parents will have to pass inspection in order to have kids, and "accidents" will be put up for adoption by loving, god-fearing families. also, nursing homes should be eliminated, as caring for parents should be the children's responsibility correct? and who ever heard of an elderly person not having children. :P

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  5. (correction: be put up for adoption INTO loving, god-fearing families.)

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