Wednesday, August 12, 2009

People Make Me Sick

Though there is no cure for Asperger's Syndrome, my therapist thought I might be able to pickup a coping mechanism or two by attending Cognitive Behavior Training (CBT). The idea behind CBT is that our thinking exerts a great deal of influence over our behavior, so if a person can alter their thinking...

I'm three weeks into this group process and it's making me sick. No, not the training itself, but the people involved!

Mind you, I have nothing against the other group members -- all women -- nor do I have anything against the two male counselors (one of whom is my counselor). My problem is that I have social anxiety disorder and we meet each Tuesday for 90 minutes in a very small room! Not only am I a bit claustrophobic, but I have a very large personal space and these nice people are invading it. : )

Now I'll be the first to admit that, other than my counselor, I bet the group members don't realize just how uncomfortable I am. The reason for this is that, when I get really nervous around groups, one of my chief coping mechanisms is to be funny. I keep them laughing while I'm dying inside.

Once I'm able to flee from the room, I've noticed that I feel sick the rest of the day. My theory is that it takes so much mental energy to make it through the 90-minute session, it simply drains me for the rest of the day and, for the prior two weeks, the next day as well.

But I'm not going to throw in the towel. I'm committed to see this 12-week process through. I might see things differently a few weeks from now, though I strongly doubt it. ; )

4 comments:

  1. HI R T

    I am so familiar with CBT - we offer it t our facility as an out-patient service. I am not a big fan. I appreciate your struggle with the surroundings and admire your commitment to continue. Hang in there. I wrote a post titled "Choice Theory" which I believe in and with which I ally. If you get a moment to go over to my post and check it out I think you might like it. I actually posted it twice.
    Peace and love to you
    Gail

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  2. They make me sick too! The older I get the more I realize is that it's good to have only a few close friends like 2 or 3 and then my girl and family that's all one needs.

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  3. Let me speak...you know me! First, hiding gives your social anxiety power....just say out loud, "I'm really uncomfortable and anxious here!" When everyone else laughs at your confession because they can't see it, you'll laugh a little too.
    second, look for some acupuncturist near you. The Tao is about balance. Lets get some chi flowing in the right direction!

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  4. Gail,
    I've been so busy writing about the various Taoist links that I've neglected to visit all my favorite blogs...but I'll catch up soon.

    Leon,
    : )

    Tao1776,
    Ya know, at the last session, I actually DID mention how uncomfortable I was and everyone looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. :D

    I have a severe needle phobia, but, in the last year or two, I've actually given much thought to acupuncture. However, there are two big obstacles 1) No acupuncturist within 50 miles or so and 2) Medicaid doesn't pay for such "alternative" practices and I'm too impoverished to pay for it myself.

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