Monday, August 24, 2009

My Struggle to Think

Let me tell you, I've been really struggling with this ongoing series on the Tao Te Ching! I was enjoying it immensely for the first 3 - 4 weeks -- I couldn't wait to research and write the next day's verse. However, now that I'm struggling with one of my routine flare-ups from fibromyalgia, my ability in regards to concentration has been greatly impaired.

Most days I wake up in a fog that doesn't want to clear. I have a few more lucid moments here and there, but focusing on anything for more than 30 minutes is difficult.

I'm not sharing this info because I want to have a pity party. While dealing with fibro ain't fun, there are millions of people around the world who have issues far greater than mine. Even if my fibro was the worse case the world over, feeling sorry for oneself doesn't do me a lick of good. It is what it is and I simply have to learn to live with it and work around it.

So, if I don't want your pity (and I REALLY don't), why am I sharing this info with you? I just want you all to understand why the recent posts for each day's verse have not been as threshed out as in the weeks before. I'm going to continue to muddle through this as best I can and I'm determined to post a verse per day through October 5.

Hopefully, my fog will clear sometime between now and then. ; )


  1. No pity. Just hoping you feel better. Take care.

  2. Your posts are beautifully written, and are skillfully exposing me to a wealth of wisdom when I need it most. If you perceive some variability in output based on whats going on in your life, so be it-- puts more of yourself in your writing. Hang in there. And thanks!

  3. More niacin... time released is best...

  4. iamthezenmaster,

    I'm glad some of my cat scratchings are resonating with you.

    I know about niacin...but I have a swallowing difficulty. I have yet to find a form of therapeutic niacin that comes in liquid or chewable form that Medicaid will pay for. :(

  5. maybe, in taoist tradition, having a fixed time limit/schedule is not working for you. perhaps you should just relax your standards a little and post when you can... personally i like reading your posts a lot and haven't noticed any incompleteness. plus a lot of the verses stand on their own, and with the others i just need to be patient until i can realize fully what they mean. :)

  6. Rick & Iktomi,
    If my Taoist self was in control of this, I would agree with you. However, my Asperger's self needs the routine. If I was to skip a day here and there, I would most likely have trouble getting back into the flow. So, it's very important to my overall sanity to stick to the schedule.

    What can I say? It's an aspie thing. ;)


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