I'm a very cyclical person. I go through periods in which my mind is alive and others in which it's just sort of dead. Right now, I'm tilting toward the latter. I'm not writing much and I'm not visiting my favorite blogs -- YOUR blogs -- either. I have several books on my reading stand, but I simply can't muster the motivation to read any of them.
I believe I go through these mental ups and downs because of my "all out" personality. I'm not the sort of person who tends to do things half-ass. For example, during the month of March, I was posting entries on this blog several times per day. My mind was razor sharp. Everything I read, saw, watched, observed or contemplated sparked a thought and, since this blog merely represents my thinking out loud, those thoughts got posted here.
As mentioned in my last post, I had been neglecting my paying gig a bit. So, in my typical fashion, I did one month's worth of work in three frenetic days!
The problem I habitually encounter with this kind of personality is mental exhaustion. At some point, I seem to burn up all of my emotional energy and this leads to a type of depression. No, I'm not suicidal or anything like that; it's more like being unable to think, write or contemplate anything more serious than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Thoughts still swirl through my head, but I can't seem to catch up with them. So, instead of spending my time pondering the complexities of life, I sit at my computer and play word games (Boggle, Lexicon, Super Letter Linker, WinAgrams, etc.).
At some point, the sparks will start flying again and the words will no longer get jumbled in my head. When that happens -- later today or weeks from now -- TRT will come alive again. Right now, though, it's existing on fumes. :-)
I believe I go through these mental ups and downs because of my "all out" personality. I'm not the sort of person who tends to do things half-ass. For example, during the month of March, I was posting entries on this blog several times per day. My mind was razor sharp. Everything I read, saw, watched, observed or contemplated sparked a thought and, since this blog merely represents my thinking out loud, those thoughts got posted here.
As mentioned in my last post, I had been neglecting my paying gig a bit. So, in my typical fashion, I did one month's worth of work in three frenetic days!
The problem I habitually encounter with this kind of personality is mental exhaustion. At some point, I seem to burn up all of my emotional energy and this leads to a type of depression. No, I'm not suicidal or anything like that; it's more like being unable to think, write or contemplate anything more serious than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Thoughts still swirl through my head, but I can't seem to catch up with them. So, instead of spending my time pondering the complexities of life, I sit at my computer and play word games (Boggle, Lexicon, Super Letter Linker, WinAgrams, etc.).
At some point, the sparks will start flying again and the words will no longer get jumbled in my head. When that happens -- later today or weeks from now -- TRT will come alive again. Right now, though, it's existing on fumes. :-)
That sounds familiar.
ReplyDeleteI can identify with your predicament. Given my often troubled childhood, I've always tended to throw myself into whatever work or engaging pursuit is in front of me and forget the rest of the world. Later, I find myself exhausted, and wonder why.
ReplyDeleteI'm also very open to and empathetic with people, and that tends to drain me, so I go through cycles of gregariousness and misanthropy as well. I'm in the latter phase right now. ;)