Friday, January 25, 2013

I Just Wanna Be Someone!

Scott Bradley

Why am I writing this? I could provide a list of good (spiritual) reasons, justifications. But why would I need them? Because intermingled with them all is the simple fact that I just want to be someone. Please think I'm smart, or spiritual, or insightful. Please give me a 'name'. Or don’t; I’ll do it myself.

I am given to suddenly exclaiming, "I just want to be someone!" This is when I discover myself doing just that — imaging myself as someone, the author of a deep book, a dispenser of spiritual wisdom, some kind of a success (any kind of success!), a sage(!). Someone special; for we can't be someone without being someone special, though it partially suffices to just be better than him or her, or them.

My exclamation is a way of laughing at myself. I realize the egoism. I laugh at the silliness of it. I may still be egoic, but now I at least know it. And in this, I in some way transcend it. Is this 'normal? How could I know? I only know me, and that rather poorly.

Baad ego! You shat on the floor again! Here, let me stick your nose in it. Yuck! Now, out you go, into the cold and wet! Brrr! I don't like it out here; can I come back in now, please?

The problem with abusing yourself for having an ego is that you are only abusing yourself. Only an ego would think to abuse, in any case. Remember "Duck on the Rack"? His legs are too short! (Archived, should you wish to look.) We have met the Grand Inquisitor, and he is us.

There is growth. There are goals. There are ideals. And there is reality. And unless we are able to fully affirm and embrace our reality, there is only egoism.

Like a broken record, I always skip back to the same refrain: We are perfect in our imperfections. There are no conditions to meet. All is well. Affirm it all. Rejoice. If you've had enough, bon voyage and adieu; I don't know if you are there in any case, so my ego won't suffer.

You can check out Scott's other miscellaneous writings here.

1 comment:

  1. At the risk of sounding like a broken record myself, I was struck yet again by how similar this post is to something Raymond Smullyan wrote in his book The Tao Is Silent, specifically in a chapter called "On Not Wanting to Amount to Anything."


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