Long Time No See

Trey Smith

Today my dad and step-mom will arrive in South Bend for a 2 1/2 day visit. Since my father will be 79 in 9 days, this may be the last time I ever see him. While I am looking forward to their visit, in another way, I sort of dread it.

My dread has nothing to do with anxiety over my father accepting me for who I am or being worried that he might criticize some decision I've made. It is much more mundane than that. Visits from ANYONE interrupt my daily routines and autistic me doesn't like my routines to be impinged upon.

Whenever dad comes for a visit, it means going out to breakfast, lunch and/or dinner. The man likes to eat! I'm not suggesting he's fat, he just enjoys eating in public places. I, of course, do not like to eat in public because I have some swallowing issues. My preference is to eat alone and most days I don't even eat my meals around my wife. So, this public eating situation creates a bit of a dilemma for me.

Do I simply grin and bear it? Do I order the smallest meal possible and save most of it to take home in a doggy bag? Do I eat before we go (a strategy I've employed before) and then make everyone else uncomfortable as I sit there watching them eat? Ah, decisions, decisions.

But it's more than just issues around meals. I spend most of my time each day puttering around the house by my lonesome. While such a happenstance might drive most people stir crazy, it's a pleasing norm for me. I often don't get dressed to go out or put my dentures in until late afternoon or early evening. But with family sitting in my living room, I will need to dress earlier and put my teeth in.

I will get through it, but I will feel out of sorts until they leave.