Sunday, October 28, 2012

Don't Mention It

Trey Smith

Here's the scenario: Some bad people have broken into your home and taken your family hostage. They lock you in a closet or the basement as they set about to ransack your house. As one of them secures the door to your holding area, he asks an accomplice, "So, what are we going to do with these folks?" The other fellow says in a very menacing tone, "We'll take care of them once we're done plundering the house!"

As you sit there with your loved ones wondering if "taking care of you" means they plan to kill you, you remember you have your cell phone in your pocket. So, you call 911.
911 Operator: 911. Can I help you?
You: Thank goodness!
911 Operator: What is your problem?
You: Let's see. My wife recently was laid off from her job and my hours were cut at work.
911 Operator: Sir, 911 is for emergencies!
You: I know, I know. Things look very bleak for us right now.
911 Operator: Sir, if you don't have some sort of emergency, I'm going to need to hang up.
You: Don't you understand? Our lives are in imminent danger!
911 Operator: Danger from what or whom?
You: Well, with all the rain of the past week, our roof has started leaking. Just yesterday our 16 year old son got sent home from school for mouthing off at his teacher.
911 Operator: Sir, these are not the kinds of problems that we deal with at 911. You should call your local Social Services agency during their regular business hours.
You: Don't you understand? I think they're going to kill us!
911 Operator: Who is going to kill you?
You: My next door neighbor refuses to bring back the lawn mower I lent him last week. What kind of a friend would do that?
911 Operator: For the last time, these sorts of issues are not a reason to call 911.
You: When we end up dead, I hope you lose your job!
Just like the above caller -- the person who steadfastly refused to tell the 911 operator what the imminent threat was -- neither presidential candidate over 3 televised debates ever uttered the words, climate change or global warming. In fact, they didn't even nebulously reference this growing threat to humanity.

Oh, they talked eloquently about all sorts of problems, but they steadfastly refused to talk about the one issue that might change or end life as we know it.

Curious, isn't it?

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