Huainanzi - Entry 75

Trey Smith

When punishment is overextended, it becomes cruelty; and if you are cruel, you have no friends.
~ a passage from The Book of Leadership and Strategy by Thomas Cleary ~

There are a lot of parents in this country that subscribe to the "spare the rod, spoil the child" strategy. The way they see it is that this is how they were brought up and they didn't turn out so bad, now did they? Yet, many of them are in therapy -- or should be! -- and so it begs the question: Is use of the rod (belt, paddle, baseball bat, cane, stick of wood, etc.) the best method for disciplining a child?

[In the efforts for full disclosure, I was never spanked nor hit by my parents or any other adults as a child.]

From my perspective, the chief problem with the use of corporal punishment as a means of discipline is that it is far too easy to overextend it into cruelty. This form of punishment tends to be utilized when the parent is upset and angry at their child for disobeying a directive. When a person is angry, most of us tend to be a little (or a lot) out-of-control. We say things we might not have said otherwise and, when wielding a belt or a paddle, we likely will hit harder and longer than we would when calm.

To read the introduction to this ongoing series, go here.