The Maudlinness of Death

Trey Smith

I often read obituaries in the newspaper, particularly of people I never knew. I read the obits because it provides me with the opportunity to learn about all the saints who just left the earth. And let me tell you, every single person who has died in my area was a wonderful person who RARELY took any missteps in their long journey through life.

At least, that's how almost every obituary reads!

I've often wondered who first coined the idea that we must not speak ill of the dead. Why is it so damned important to pretend that very imperfect people were, in fact, the picture of perfection in all they said and did? While I'm certainly not suggesting that an obit should provide a laundry list of the deceased's every misstep, most err grotesquely in the other direction.

On Thursday, the conservative blogger and self-proclaimed media darling Andrew Breitbart (age 43) died suddenly. Here's how Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi started off a blog post about Breitbart's death.

So Andrew Breitbart is dead. Here’s what I have to say to that, and I’m sure Breitbart himself would have respected this reaction: Good! Fuck him. I couldn’t be happier that he’s dead.

Now there is an honest reaction (it is written somewhat tongue-in-cheek and it's not as bad as it might look). Taibbi goes on to show why this reaction is reasonable for him. It is certainly NOT the case that Taibbi wished for Breitbart to die, but, since he did, Matt saw no reason to feign sadness for a man who wasn't necessarily the nicest or most charitable person in the world.

The Young Turks with Cenk Ugyur also spoke about Breitbart's death on Friday's show. Ugyur sent out condolences to Breitbart's family and friends, but he spoke at length about Breitbart's legacy and, in his eyes, that legacy is very tarnished.

I often have thought about pre-writing my own obit. I would point out that I was far from perfect. I've done a lot of good with my life, but like everybody else I know, I've made some glaring and gut-wrenching mistakes. While I can be very loving, kind and funny, I can also be exasperating and highly annoying.

I would ask people to remember all of me, if they care to remember me at all, not just the endearing parts.

When we only remember solely the good of the deceased, we turn them into caricatures of themselves. They more resemble paper dolls than real human beings who once walked the earth amongst us.