Looking Back to 2010: No Excuses

Trey Smith
Original Post Date: 6/13/10

There is this woman I know -- more an acquaintance than a friend -- who is Bi-Polar. I know that she's Bi-Polar because she has a penchant for telling everyone about her condition. She feels the need to tell everyone constantly because she's not a very nice person. She is rather crude and crass. Whenever she offends or upsets someone else -- happens quite frequently -- she announces that the other person can't be upset with HER because, of course, she's Bi-Polar and Bi-Polar people can't help but be crude and crass.

Bullshit!

Bi-Polar Disorder is no excuse. She happens to be crude and crass because she chooses to be so. She has chosen to be self-centered and not give a damn about other people's feelings.

But this post isn't about her -- it's about me. I don't want anyone to think that because I'm beset with anxiety disorders, Asperger's, Klinefelter's and Schizotypal Personality Disorder that I think any of these conditions provide me with a ready excuse to be an ugly person. While each of my maladies provides its own challenges to navigating life, not a single one of them can cause me to be rude, mean-spirited or nasty to other people.

The way I see it is that I simply have to work harder at social interaction than the average bloke. Many aspects of social communications -- like body language and typical social assumptions -- don't come easily to me and, when I try to guess what is being conveyed, I tend to guess incorrectly. So, while I hope that those close to me take into account much of my social awkwardness and difficulties, I still believe that the onus falls squarely on me.

If I appear to others in a manner that is not consistent with my intent, then it is MY responsibility to figure out how to alter the appearance so that the real me shines through. It's a misnomer to think that having a personality disorder or a neurological condition grants a person the license to be brutish towards others.

It doesn't.