Saturday, January 21, 2012

Real Life Tao - The Question

Trey Smith


A recurrent theme in philosophical Taoism is a concept we can call the ripple effect. The idea is that the actions of ourselves or others is like a stone cast into a pond. When the rock breaks the surface of the water, waves or ripples move out from this center point in all directions. These ripples impact other beings or the water itself which spurs movements not directly associated with the stone thrown into the water.

To illustrate this point, let me tell of an instance in my past when a question from a stranger changed the trajectory of my life.

In 1979, I graduated from college at the tender age of 20. I went to work for the summer on a firefighting crew in Oregon with the US Forest Service. As the summer was coming to an end, I decided to return home to Arkansas. So, I boarded a Greyhound Bus in Baker City, Oregon, not realizing that a portion of this long 3-day trip would change the direction of my life.

When I first got on the bus, I sat down next to an elderly woman. I was aware that there were several individuals in my general age range in the back of the bus, but since I can be very introverted, I looked for someone who I thought wouldn't be too much into conversation. I rode to the next stop barely saying more than a few pleasantries to my seatmate.

At the next stop, my seatmate disembarked. Oh good, I thought, I now have two seats to myself! But my new found legroom only lasted for a moment or two. A young woman who had been seated in back asked if she could sit next to me. Being a gentleman, I [reluctantly] obliged.

Unlike my previous seatmate, this young woman was talkative. She was also attractive. In no time at all, I found that I was really enjoying conversing with her. She was warm and engaging; we seemed to hit it off very well.

After the next stop, she asked me to come and sit with her toward the back of the bus where her carry-on items remained. So, we moved to the back of the bus, back where there were several people of our general age. Before you knew it, we were all laughing and joking. Since I'm a witty and off-the-wall sort of guy, I kept them in stitches.

The young woman and I were getting real chummy. At one point, she lay her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her. It was at about this juncture that one of the young fellows behind us blurted out, "Well, aren't you going to kiss her?"

My autistic brain had not considered that possibility. It was the furthest thing from my mind. I simply was enjoying the moment as it was. Several of the other young people suggested that I should kiss her too. So, I asked the young woman if she desired to be kissed. To my utter shock, she said yes.

So, I kissed her. And I kissed her again and again and again. We ended up making out in the back of a Greyhound Bus as we traveled through western and central Idaho.

To make a long story short, the young woman (Ann) and I eventually fell in love. We were married the next year. Though the marriage didn't work out as much as we both had hoped, it helped to lead each of us to where and who we are now.

Whenever I think back to that day on the bus, the ripple effect is prominent in my thoughts. Had that one young man not blurted out his question, there never would have been a kiss, a courtship and a marriage. Chances are great that when she got off the bus in Bliss, Idaho, I never would have seen her again.

The question which led to the kiss changed my plans in a big way. As soon as I arrived home in Arkansas, Ann and I started communicating by letter and phone. We quickly realized we had strong feelings for each other. So, instead of following my plan to start my career in social work, I got on a bus bound for Oregon and my old job with the US Forest Service.

Less than one year later, we were husband and wife.

It all started from a pebble (the question) a stranger threw into a nearby pond.

This post is part of a series. For an introduction, go here.

3 comments:

  1. The Chinese call it fate and destiny. I love that she got off the bus at Bliss.

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  2. Not only did she get off in Bliss, but we were married in Bliss too! :-)

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  3. Bliss doesn't last forever, I guess. But what a nice story. You could develop it as literature.

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