A few hours ago I was at the mini-mart owned by my friend, Paul. I'm sort of friendly with the night stocker (not to be confused with a night stalker). Howie and I were bantering about. As he walked up an aisle behind me, he reached out -- in a buddy-like way -- to bop me on the head with a small empty box.
I didn't see it coming. It didn't hurt, but it startled me severely. I was and continue to be completely discombobulated.
As I have related in this space before, I have a large personal space and I don't react well to being touched, particularly when there is no advance warning! In time's past, some people have acted as if I choose to be freaked out -- that I could just as easily choose NOT to be. I have tried to explain to them that my reaction to being touched is physiological. It makes my hair stand on in.
When I was younger, I tried to overcome my typical reaction. I would beat myself up mentally for being melodramatic and overreacting. I would tell myself, "Next time this happens, I'm going to react differently." But, try as I might, the reaction always is the same. I get horribly freaked out!
I've come to realize that this is an aspect of my makeup that I can't change. It is what it is and I have to suffer through the same consequences each time it occurs. This is one of the reasons I try to keep a buffer between myself and other people. If I can stay at least an arm's length away from others, there is less of a chance of being touched on purpose or inadvertently.
I have also become more proactive. After my little incident with Howie, I asked him not to do that again. I explained that I wasn't angry or perturbed with him in any way -- he had no way of knowing about my personal space issues. He took it well and I don't think it will be an issue with us ever again.
Now, if I only could get the other 99 per cent of the people I come in contact with to understand, I'd be home free!! ;-)
I didn't see it coming. It didn't hurt, but it startled me severely. I was and continue to be completely discombobulated.
As I have related in this space before, I have a large personal space and I don't react well to being touched, particularly when there is no advance warning! In time's past, some people have acted as if I choose to be freaked out -- that I could just as easily choose NOT to be. I have tried to explain to them that my reaction to being touched is physiological. It makes my hair stand on in.
When I was younger, I tried to overcome my typical reaction. I would beat myself up mentally for being melodramatic and overreacting. I would tell myself, "Next time this happens, I'm going to react differently." But, try as I might, the reaction always is the same. I get horribly freaked out!
I've come to realize that this is an aspect of my makeup that I can't change. It is what it is and I have to suffer through the same consequences each time it occurs. This is one of the reasons I try to keep a buffer between myself and other people. If I can stay at least an arm's length away from others, there is less of a chance of being touched on purpose or inadvertently.
I have also become more proactive. After my little incident with Howie, I asked him not to do that again. I explained that I wasn't angry or perturbed with him in any way -- he had no way of knowing about my personal space issues. He took it well and I don't think it will be an issue with us ever again.
Now, if I only could get the other 99 per cent of the people I come in contact with to understand, I'd be home free!! ;-)
This is very interesting to me. I startle easily and I am prone to over-react to being startled.
ReplyDeleteI've finally convinced my husband that I'm very serious about not being startled. I literally feel as though I'm startled-to-death. I'm easily triggered into an emotional reaction . . . and it can take some time to come back out of it.
I had a job once where a coworker of mine figured out that I'm usually of in la-la land, and knew he could easily startle me (ironically, the job was as a stock guy). He'd do it constantly. I'd jump like a scared cat, throwing whole cases of cat food cans to the floor. It was hilarious, though kind of annoying sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt actually happened again and another job more recently, this one guy figured it out and, same thing, kept sneaking up on me. I'm just too much of a space cadet, always off in my own world.