Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Am God

For someone who has made it abundantly clear that I do not believe in the concept of a god, the title I chose for this post may cause some of you to think to yourselves, WTF? How can this fellow declare that he IS god if he doesn't even believe in the concept in the first place?

There are any number of ways I could answer this query.

I could tell you that it is none of your damn business! As god, I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you. You simply must accept that it makes sense to me and that it may or may not make sense to you at some later point in your miserable less-than-god-like existence.

If you choose not to accept my declaration, then I certainly wouldn't want to be you! I am not necessarily suggesting that something b-a-d will happen, but you never know. There are people who haven't believed me and they have...well...it can get ugly and children might read this blog, so I'll save the gory details for another medium.

To make it easier on yourself, just accept the fact that I AM god. It certainly wouldn't hurt you to do a little groveling and worshiping of me from time to time. Hey, you might even receive some really cool perks for the effort!

Look at it this way. If you accept what I'm telling you and it turns out to be wrong (which, of course, it won't), what will you have lost except a little dignity and self-respect?

On the other hand, if you scoff at the notion that I am indeed god and it turns out that what I'm sharing with you is the unvarnished truth (which, of course, it is), you will have hell or something far worse to pay! So, to cover your bets, it would be in your own self-interest to accept that what I am sharing with you today is the absolute, unmitigated way things are.

Okay, that's one way I could answer the question. In a subsequent post, I will provide a less tongue-in-cheek response.

6 comments:

  1. Why do you relate to God this way? Is your ONLY reference of God limited to a Judaism-Christian type of God? What does this reference point have to do with God? If you misjudge me as being something I am not, why continually hold me down into this judgement? Why don't you stop judging God for what it isn't and ask yourself what it is?

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  2. So, are you suggesting you don't believe in me?

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  3. I believe in you, if you promise not to kick the sh*t out of me

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  4. I must admit I wasn't expecting any further comments regarding the Christian God but that seemingly is what the last two comments defaulted to.

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  5. Ray. If someone asks if you are a god, you say, "yes!" --Ghostbusters.

    And how weird...my vord verification word is...taxes!
    Next up...death?

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  6. God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son."
    Abe says, "Man, you must be puttin' me on."
    God say, "No." Abe say, "What?"
    God say,"You can do what you want, Abe, but
    next time you see me comin' you better run.
    Abe says, "Where you want this killin' done?"
    God says, "Out on Highway 61."

    --Highway 61 Revisited, Bob Dylan

    (Which also explains something about the title of my blog.)

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