Sunday, March 20, 2011

Hard to Come By

As the unemployment rate -- whether one speaks of the "official" rate or the true figures -- remains far too high, there are more and more people out there who go to job interview after job interview and yet can't seem to land a job. No matter how strong a person is in their belief in themselves, when you get door upon door slammed in your face, it's hard not to take personally after a while. You start to look at yourself and ask, What's wrong with me?

While I no longer work due to disability, I certainly understand what today's job seekers are going through. Despite the fact my working days predominantly were during periods of low national unemployment, I had a devil of a time landing a job in my chosen field of social work.

After graduating from college in 1979 with a degree in sociology, it took me 6 months and 22 interviews at social services offices around the state of Arkansas before landing my first professional job. The next time around it took me nearly 9 months and 18 interviews before I secured a spot. After moving to Oregon about 20 years ago, I tried to secure a job in this field for 3 years and over 40 total interviews in 4 different states, yet I came up empty each time!

During each of these periods, no matter how hard I tried to keep up my spirits, I'd be lying if I told you that it didn't get me down. On reflection, however, I am no longer amazed that I was continually passed over. What amazes me now is that someone eventually hired me at all!!

You see, I am a decidedly odd duck. Though it has only been in the past 5 years that I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and Schizotypal Personality Disorder, the symptoms of each condition have long been prevalent in my life. The diagnoses themselves simply add a bit of definition to the odd quirks and personality features I have exhibited for decades.

For starters, I dress differently than most adults I know. As I've mentioned before, I where something akin to the official Trey uniform: hickory-striped overalls, loud socks, a long sleeved t-shirt and very colorful Converse high-tops. You will find me in my get-up at least 360 days per year.

When I went to job interviews, I had to chuck my usual attire and wear grown-up clothes. This always made me feel uncomfortable and I would spend inordinate amounts of time pulling and tugging at what I was wearing. My guess is that I looked and acted like a little kid who had been forced to dress up for some special occasion and couldn't wait to tear off their Sunday best to go play in the mud!

Because of my aversion to crowds, all of my interviews over the years were in small cities and towns in predominantly rural areas. (The very thought of working in a large city was suffocating to me.) One fact of small town or rural life is that these areas tend to me far more conservative than urban communities. And, of course, I am anything BUT conservative.

I can imagination that many of the folks conducting the interviews I attended looked across the table at this obviously uncomfortable bloke and thought to themselves, "This guy's a freaking radical! What is he even doing here?!" I now consider myself fortunate that I didn't land many of these jobs because it either wasn't or wouldn't have been a good marriage all around.

The third factor that I'm fairly sure doomed me in many an interview was the fact that I don't look people in the eye when I talk to them. When I am concentrating on what someone else is saying, I tend to look at the ground. When I talk, my eyes dance all over the place, but usually not directly toward the person I'm talking to. This trait tends to unnerve others and/or they think I am not giving them my undivided attention.

So, it is now quite understandable WHY I was continually not selected. For all my positive traits -- hard working, attention to detail, good writer, witty fellow, strong conviction in protecting those who can't protect themselves -- there was just something about me that made potential employers uneasy.

I can live with that. In fact, if I was in their shoes, I'm sure I wouldn't have hired me either!

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