I cannot count how many times over the last decade that someone will announce that they have/will pray for me. It has happened both in person and on this blog several times. The comment tends to be made when I'm encountering a rough spot.
You know, if the act of prayer butters your toast or rows your boat, go for it. We each need to employ those strategies that resonate in our lives. While I don't have a problem at all with people feeling the desire or need to pray for someone else, I DO have a definite problem with people needing to announce it. For the most part, it comes off sounding very condescending to me, whether that is the overt intent or not.
Let's say I write a post about the fact my nose has turned bright green. It doesn't necessarily hurt, but everything smells like rutabagas. So, I write in this space a lament about my green, rutabaga-smelling nose.
It wouldn't surprise me at all if I received a comment like this from some well-meaning Christian.
For you praying Christians out there, I suggest you take the advice of the ancient Taoist sages. Do what you feel you need to do and then walk away. Don't pray because you want to be complimented, thanked, admired or acknowledged. If you don't wave your self-piety in my face, I have no problem with your desire to pray for me.
You know, if the act of prayer butters your toast or rows your boat, go for it. We each need to employ those strategies that resonate in our lives. While I don't have a problem at all with people feeling the desire or need to pray for someone else, I DO have a definite problem with people needing to announce it. For the most part, it comes off sounding very condescending to me, whether that is the overt intent or not.
Let's say I write a post about the fact my nose has turned bright green. It doesn't necessarily hurt, but everything smells like rutabagas. So, I write in this space a lament about my green, rutabaga-smelling nose.
It wouldn't surprise me at all if I received a comment like this from some well-meaning Christian.
I'm really sorry about the current problem with your nose. I've had rough patches in my life too. Like you, I didn't believe in God, but when I turned my life over to him, it lifted my spirits and made me understand that a green, rutabaga-smelling nose was a message. I'm sorry that you don't understand the healing power of God, but I will pray for you and hope that God makes his presence known in your life.Fair or not, this is what I tend to hear.
I'm really sorry about the current problem with your nose. I've had rough patches in my life too. Like you, I didn't believe in God, but I was able to pull my head out of my ass -- unlike you -- who insists on selfishly denying what almost everyone else knows is true. Of course, you should pray for yourself, but since you refuse to, I will do it FOR you, you imbecile! This proves what a wonderful human being I am and, hopefully, will earn me those all important brownie points that I will use to get a good seat in heaven.Why is it that believers feel the necessity to inform non-believers that they will pray for them? Sometimes I think they do it just to provoke ire. Most of the time, though, I think it is sincere plus a way to make them feel good about themselves. Look at what I've done! I prayed for a non-believer. I'm so proud of myself. It proves how loving I am.
For you praying Christians out there, I suggest you take the advice of the ancient Taoist sages. Do what you feel you need to do and then walk away. Don't pray because you want to be complimented, thanked, admired or acknowledged. If you don't wave your self-piety in my face, I have no problem with your desire to pray for me.
I totally agree. I hate hate hate it when they preface their "i'll pray for you" with all that about accepting Jesus, and I hear the same thing from that as you do. I don't want people praying that I will accept their version of reality.
ReplyDeleteBut I admit, I'm down with people praying for me. I'll take the positive vibes. I don't know about the actual power of prayer, or if "positive vibes" even exist. But there's a lot I don't know. And I tend to see the universe as being "composed" of consciousness, rather than matter. Whatever that means.
So I'll take some positive consciousness heading my way, for sure.
unrelated to this post, but i think you'll find this interesting. from The Archdruid Report, which this week makes the claim that the Tao Te Ching is one of the best systems textbooks of all time:
ReplyDelete----------
The Archdruid Report: Overcoming Systems Stupidity (February 02, 2011)
Replace the early Chinese philosophical terminology with equivalent terms from systems theory and the point of the text becomes equally clear. Here’s chapter I:
A process as described is not the process as it exists;
The terms used to describe it are not the things they describe.
That which evades description is the wholeness of the system;
The act of description is merely a listing of its parts.
Without intentionality, you can experience the whole system;
With intentionality, you can comprehend its effects.
These two approach the same reality in different ways,
And the result appears confusing;
But accepting the apparent confusion
Gives access to the whole system.
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--sgl
Wow, that would be awful if that was true!
ReplyDeletePrayer doesn't make me good. There is nothing good about me. In fact, the Bible says, "...all our righteous acts are like filthy rags... (Isaiah 64:6).
When I offer to pray for someone, it comes from the overflow of what God is doing in my life. There is such a deep compassion inside of me. Something that just wells up and desires to see the other person experience true joy and peace.
Mature Christians understand that there is nothing we receive from offering prayer. There is not a score board some where, where God puts points down. We are sinful by nature, dying to ourselves daily. I'm no better than you and neither is anyone else. We're all getting through this world, one step at a time. Prayer offered on your behalf should never feel like someone discredits who you are or thinks they are better than you.
That's impossible! On this earth, we are all the same. The only difference is what we believe in and where we are going when we die.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast." ~Ephesians 1:8-9
There is nothing I can do to earn my way to Heaven. I can't pray for you enough or anyone else. I can't talk to you enough. I can't do enough nice things for anyone. I can only get there through the sacrifice made on the cross. That's it! The rest is all empty!
So I won't be offering prayer as a ticket to get me a better seat or make my self sound better than I am. I know who I am... I'm a sinner saved by grace! I'm filthy at times! I don't like what I see at times, but man I do love who I see in me. I love what God is doing in me. I wouldn't change my trials and my tough roads for anything. Every question has led me to a better answer!
Thank you for entertaining my words for even a moment! I look forward to more conversations with you!