Saturday, January 29, 2011

When I Get to Hell

If all the conservative and mainline Christians are correct, I have already punched my ticket straight to hell. You see, it is said that a person only can get to heaven by accepting Jesus as one's personal lord and savior. Since I don't believe in God -- hence I don't believe in Jesus as savior -- I have sealed my fate.

But I want to let you know that I don't plan on sitting around and burning for eternity. If this is the way a divine being truly operates, I think I will try to network with the other lost souls to mount a rebellion. I'll gather up all the Buddhists, Muslims, Pagans, Taoists, Hindus, and all the other folks condemned to eternal torture to fight back.

Who knows! Maybe we'll picket heaven. Maybe we'll conduct marches and demonstrations. Maybe we'll go on strike. I'm sure we'll come up with all sorts of creative strategies and ploys. Besides, what could this god threaten us with; we're already in hell!!

Hopefully, it won't come to that. If there is a divine being -- I have my doubts -- I can only hope she is far more flexible that her minions give her credit for. I can only hope that she has a much broader policy than has been advertised.

If not, I just want to let her or him know now that I don't plan to take this injustice sitting down.


  1. I like the way you think. That's never something I'd considered doing before!

  2. "If all the conservative and mainline Christians are correct..."

    They're nuts. And I think there is only a divine non-being.

  3. haha, awesome. a human (soul) baricade across the gates of heaven, that'd be a sight.

  4. Hope we all get good seats close together so we can organize and cause trouble.

  5. "If there is a divine being -- I have my doubts..."

    I just revisited this post looking for something else.

    You comment suggests that you think there still might be a divine being...if you have doubts, you also still have hope.


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