Anyone familiar with the Star Wars movies can probably recall the phrase, "a great disturbance in the force." While I don't necessarily prescribe to all the trappings of Jediism, I do believe that people can pick up on disturbances in the collective consciousness of humankind and Mother Earth.
Each time there is a report of a mass murder or some other type of cataclysmic event -- it even occurs, at times, when I haven't yet read nor heard of such a report -- it makes my whole being shudder. It's not that I merely feel sad for the victims and their families; it goes much deeper than that. It puts me in a very somber mood and it can last for a good deal of time.
Back when I was a Christian fellow, I noted that Jesus was not the cheeriest of people. Though he partook of wine and festivities, he appeared to me almost always to hold a solemn countenance. I'm not suggesting the man never smiled nor laughed, but he certainly didn't seem like a happy-go-lucky chap.
In my mind's eye, the primary reason for his solemn approach to life was that he was in tune to all the suffering that took place in the world around him. It's hard to live it up when you know that others are in depths of misery.
Though, in some respects, I am an eternal cut-up, I have grown far more serious and philosophical as I've aged. I still find time to have a good laugh or enjoy the simple things of life each day, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that a dark cloud encompasses me as well.
When I was younger, my mother claimed that I was too sensitive. Maybe I am, but I come by it honestly. When I sense misery and suffering, I can't turn away from it. (Either my autism or OCD may well play a big role.)
I'm not writing this to say that I believe I have some special gift or that I care more than others. I'm not suggesting that because it affects me the way it does, but it doesn't affect you in the same way, that this somehow suggests that I am superior to anyone else. I am simply sharing how I am impacted -- for better or worse -- to tears shed by people I will never know.
It's as if I feel "a great disturbance in the force" or, if you want to view it from a religious perspective (of course, I don't), you could say that I hear God crying.
Each time there is a report of a mass murder or some other type of cataclysmic event -- it even occurs, at times, when I haven't yet read nor heard of such a report -- it makes my whole being shudder. It's not that I merely feel sad for the victims and their families; it goes much deeper than that. It puts me in a very somber mood and it can last for a good deal of time.
Back when I was a Christian fellow, I noted that Jesus was not the cheeriest of people. Though he partook of wine and festivities, he appeared to me almost always to hold a solemn countenance. I'm not suggesting the man never smiled nor laughed, but he certainly didn't seem like a happy-go-lucky chap.
In my mind's eye, the primary reason for his solemn approach to life was that he was in tune to all the suffering that took place in the world around him. It's hard to live it up when you know that others are in depths of misery.
Though, in some respects, I am an eternal cut-up, I have grown far more serious and philosophical as I've aged. I still find time to have a good laugh or enjoy the simple things of life each day, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that a dark cloud encompasses me as well.
When I was younger, my mother claimed that I was too sensitive. Maybe I am, but I come by it honestly. When I sense misery and suffering, I can't turn away from it. (Either my autism or OCD may well play a big role.)
I'm not writing this to say that I believe I have some special gift or that I care more than others. I'm not suggesting that because it affects me the way it does, but it doesn't affect you in the same way, that this somehow suggests that I am superior to anyone else. I am simply sharing how I am impacted -- for better or worse -- to tears shed by people I will never know.
It's as if I feel "a great disturbance in the force" or, if you want to view it from a religious perspective (of course, I don't), you could say that I hear God crying.
That's interesting. I wonder if you are affected by your autism. My teenage son has Aspergers and he too is really impacted by anyone who is upset or sad around him. And they say people with autism aren't empathetic! It's a wonderful thing to be so compassionate, as long as you don't let it bring you down. Make sure you temper it with some detachment.
ReplyDeleteHere's the really interesting part: I'm not empathetic in the least! When my wife or a friend injures themselves in my immediate presence, I'm about as detached as one can get.
ReplyDeleteAs I've written about it here before that, in real life terms, I can sympathize with another's plight (feel bad for them), but I seem incapable of empathizing (feeling their pain as my own).
That's why it's more akin to a "great disturbance in the force." It is a nonspecific jolt, rather than a specific and personal thing...if that makes any sense.
Obviously you must know yourself better than anyone commenting on your blog, however, I still cannot comprehend how you can say that you are not empathetic in the least. To be involved in social justice issues and humanitarian causes requires empathy, is based on an empathic concern for the welfare of people, otherwise why would you even bother, why would you even care? A person that is truly lacking empathy doesn't care, and is in fact the defining characteristic of the psychopathic personality.
ReplyDeleteI think you are suffering from semantic confusion concerning the meaning of empathy, which very well could be related to your autism. Empathy is not merely feeling someones pain, but is more of an understanding and entering into another's feelings. It's not necessarily about literally feeling someone's pain, and is not even limited to pain at all, but applies to the entire emotional spectrum, that of recognizing another's feelings, understanding them even if purely on a theoretical level, and feeling concern for them.
Empathy is not just in relation to pain, but any emotion; empathy is in fact an emotional connection you make with another person. It is one of the most defining traits of our humanity, and which is why, even though I do not know you, based purely on the things you have written here, I think you are more empathic than you think.
Cym,
ReplyDeleteI tend to connect intellectually or theoretically with people, not emotionally.