I am experiencing a very high pain day. My bad right shoulder has started giving me fits (not sure why) and my ailing left hip isn't doing much better. On days like this, I wonder what it would be like to have one pain free day.
Yet, if someone offered me a magic pill (or a surefire operation) that was guaranteed not to have any dangers or nasty side effects, I'm not all that sure I would take it. It's certainly not that I enjoy pain -- I don't -- but I've lived with chronic pain all my life and I'm used to it. It is how I define a normal day.
I'm sure this is where my autism comes in. Because I so crave patterns, I won't let go of something negative IF it has become part of the normal routine. Even though I may understand rationally that replacing the negative with a positive will create a new normal, letting go of that which is familiar is very, very difficult for me.
When it comes to acute pain, this isn't much of a problem at all. Acute pain isn't part of my usual pattern, so seeking relief from it is a no-brainer. In fact, because it is outside my norm, I have a very low threshold for sudden pain and will seek remedies for it rather quickly.
For example, when I suffered from acute gallbladder inflammation nearly two years back, I arrived at the local ER and told the nurse first thing, "Stick me." The excruciating pain pushed me beyond my usual phobia of needles and I willingly bared my arm to receive an injection of high-powered painkillers. When the doctor arrived and suggested it was time to take the gallbladder out (this was the 3rd such attack in little over one year), I wholeheartedly concurred. "Wheel me in at the earliest possible convenience," I told Dr. Duret. Within 12 hours, I no longer had a gallbladder.
But the same amount of chronic pain (or near to it) doesn't elicit a similar response from me. While there are a few days, here and there, that I might take some high-dose ibuprofen, I generally won't consider taking anything stronger. Like I wrote above, I don't enjoy being in constant pain, but I've made my peace with it. It is like a twin brother who never leaves my side.
A magic pill would kill my twin and it would change who I am. Of course, change isn't necessarily a bad thing...unless you happen to be autistic. ;-)
Yet, if someone offered me a magic pill (or a surefire operation) that was guaranteed not to have any dangers or nasty side effects, I'm not all that sure I would take it. It's certainly not that I enjoy pain -- I don't -- but I've lived with chronic pain all my life and I'm used to it. It is how I define a normal day.
I'm sure this is where my autism comes in. Because I so crave patterns, I won't let go of something negative IF it has become part of the normal routine. Even though I may understand rationally that replacing the negative with a positive will create a new normal, letting go of that which is familiar is very, very difficult for me.
When it comes to acute pain, this isn't much of a problem at all. Acute pain isn't part of my usual pattern, so seeking relief from it is a no-brainer. In fact, because it is outside my norm, I have a very low threshold for sudden pain and will seek remedies for it rather quickly.
For example, when I suffered from acute gallbladder inflammation nearly two years back, I arrived at the local ER and told the nurse first thing, "Stick me." The excruciating pain pushed me beyond my usual phobia of needles and I willingly bared my arm to receive an injection of high-powered painkillers. When the doctor arrived and suggested it was time to take the gallbladder out (this was the 3rd such attack in little over one year), I wholeheartedly concurred. "Wheel me in at the earliest possible convenience," I told Dr. Duret. Within 12 hours, I no longer had a gallbladder.
But the same amount of chronic pain (or near to it) doesn't elicit a similar response from me. While there are a few days, here and there, that I might take some high-dose ibuprofen, I generally won't consider taking anything stronger. Like I wrote above, I don't enjoy being in constant pain, but I've made my peace with it. It is like a twin brother who never leaves my side.
A magic pill would kill my twin and it would change who I am. Of course, change isn't necessarily a bad thing...unless you happen to be autistic. ;-)
I idolize ibuprofen, (as much as my iPad and other i-things) although recently I was prescribed Celebrex for something else, and my weather-exacerbated arthritic wrist pain pretty much vanished. I do qigong exercises that help, but I don't want to cope with pain...I want it gone.
ReplyDeleteWith the Celebrex, I didn't miss the pain at all; I must call my doctor for a refill.