Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Tao of Dark Sages - Introduction, Part 1

The Tao of Dark Sages
by Scott Bradley

Introduction by the Buddha

It is purported that I, who said so very little, have authored a multitude of sutras (whatever those might be). By way of introducing these few words of Sue-tzu I would like to put the record straight and declare that the only few words to which I will own are these: “I obtained not the least thing from unexcelled, complete awakening, and for this very reason it is called ‘unexcelled, complete awakening.’” It is hoped that the reader of this little tome might also obtain absolutely nothing thereby. For ‘nothing’, my dear friends, should most certainly be your most singular goal. But remember always, nothing can get you there.

What is it that is so difficult about believing nothing? My message lacked all content and yet look at my purported followers today. What a lot of religious nonsense. Everywhere one turns there’s a carved rock supposedly in my image! And none too flattering at that! Were you to in some way show disrespect to one of these rocks you’d likely be beaten to death by an angry crowd. In my name!

In Bangkok the monks have turf wars. Check out Burma. But my favorite is Cambodia. The killing fields. Buddhism at work. But at least the Khmer Rouge had enough sense to use my images at Angkor Wat for target practice.

The Dalai Lama is, at the moment, my most prominent representative. And if I have to have one I suppose I could do worse. I do feel sorry for him though. I mean the poor schmuck hasn’t even gotten laid! And to top it off, he isn’t even enlightened! He’s much too busy being a globe-trotting holy man to attend to his own soul.

Finally, just to set the record straight: Having had arthritis in my right shoulder, I never reclined as depicted in the Reclining Buddha; I left no tooth in Sri Lanka; and I didn’t have pendulous earlobes!

If you're interested in reading more from this series by Scott Bradley, go here.

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