The Master Plan

I recently snuck into an all staff company meeting for one of our area's biggest corporations. Sitting in a back corner, I took copious notes. Here's what transpired.

CEO: Folks, I've got some glorious news to share with all of you today. After months of work, I have devised a master plan that will insure unprecedented success for this company for generations to come.

(Massive applause, hoots and hollers)

CEO: We will be rolling out a new product that will knock the socks off of our industry. People will look to us as the shining star and I'm convinced that this will spur expansion to untold levels and more and more people will want to sign on with us.

(More applause)

CEO: As soon as this meeting ends, I want all departments to commence work on the new product immediately. I don't care what you have been working on in the past. Drop it and start working on the new product.

Those of you who commit your body and soul to making this product the best it can be will be rewarded tenfold and more. On the other hand, if there are some of you who, for whatever reason, don't buy in to the master plan, then you will receive no reward whatsoever. In fact, you won't be working here for very long.

But I have the utmost confidence that each of you immediately will understand the importance of this new product and you will give this company your all and then some. So people are you with me?

(Mega applause and wild jubilation)

CEO: Let's get at it!!

Bob Jones (from the crowd): So, what is it?

CEO: What is what?

Jones: The product? What is it that we will be manufacturing?

CEO: I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.

Jones: What do you mean by that? How are we supposed to create this wondrous product if we don't know what it is?

Leslie Stevens (interrupting): Sigh. Bob, I'm sure our CEO has his reasons for not saying what it is in this venue. Once we get back to our departments, I'm sure there will be ample information and further instructions.

CEO: Leslie, that is not correct.

Stevens: Boss, we have to know how to build the thing.

CEO: I'm just dumbfounded. Of all the people in this company, I thought the two of you would jump on board first thing.

Jones: We're not saying we won't jump on board. We just want some information about the master plan.

CEO: I've already told you that you're not privy to this information. I'm simply floored that you don't trust me!

Stevens: Boss, this has nothing to do with us not trusting you. If you want us to build the product to the needed specifications, we need to know what it is that we're supposed to be manufacturing.

CEO: You two are fired!!

Stevens: Fired? On what grounds?

CEO: You're standing here wasting time and not doing your work!!!

Jones: We can't get to work until we know what we're supposed to be working on!

CEO: This proves beyond a shadow of doubt that neither of you EVER planned to give your heart and soul to this company. If you believed in the master plan, you wouldn't be asking such stupid questions!

Guards, escort these two malcontents off the premises immediately. We've got to get to work!!

If you haven't guessed it by now, the CEO is the Christian God. Just thought you should know.