It seems that several of my recent derivations have come from Bruce Gerencser's blog, NW Ohio Skeptics, and this one will continue that trend! The post I am using as my springboard is "A Few thoughts on Children and Church".
Churches are a haven for sexual predators, child molesters, child abusers and perverts. Even a background check is not sufficient. All a background check tells you is that the person has not been convicted of a crime. It can not tell you whether or not they have ever committed a crime. Relying only on a background check alone to qualify workers does not sufficiently protect children from people who might abuse them. No background check will protect a child from Granny in the nursery who whipped her kids and thinks its OK to whip yours.As I wrote in the comments section, the vast majority of the general public has an unrealistic conception of what a child abuser, sexual predator or molester is. I wrote, in part,
I could grab a seedy transient off the street and put him in a line-up with a doctor, lawyer, school teacher, minister and city official. Almost any person will pick the transient, when, in fact, he might be the ONLY person in said line-up who is NOT a molester.You see, molesters do not wear badges that identify them as possessing deviant sexual preferences. They don't paint their houses, apartments and condos in a consistent color scheme and they each do not drive the same make of car. Most of them don't drool in public or drag their knuckles as they walk about.
Molesters, by and large, are everyday people like you and me. A molester could be one of your parents, grandparents, siblings or other relative. A molester could be the friendly sales clerk at your local store or the postmaster or the school board president or your family doctor or...gasp...your minister. A molester could even be your best friend.
In my professional experience as a social worker, I can tell you that most such people look and act like everyone else with, of course, the exception of a drive to molest. They can have mature adult relationships. They can be hard, dedicated workers. What I'm trying to get across is that your average molester blends into the crowd and, more often than not, the last person you would suspect of molesting children is the person who may be doing it!
This is why parents must do their due diligence in checking out the people whom your children will come in contact with. Don't assume that, just because your church or school deems someone as a-okay, that they are, in fact, okay. As Bruce points out, sexual predators know about many of the lax standards rampant in society and they target those institutions that they can worm their way into with the least amount of trouble -- many evangelical churches being high on their list!
Years ago a single, younger man, a farmer, attended our Church for awhile. Previously, he had attended another fundamentalist Church in our area.
ReplyDeleteHe dressed well, sang well,was pretty typical but I did have just a small question in my mind about him.(a gut feeling) Something just wasn't quite right. He looked just like the rest of us. (though I did wonder if he might be gay)
One day a member comes to my office as says ____________has been inviting young boys from the Church to spend the weekend at his farm. All of a sudden that small question became a blaring alarm.
Needless to say, the man was a pedophile. Fortunately he hadn't harmed any of our church children. I ran him off.
I wish I could say this was the only time such a thing ever happened but it wasn't. Not enough hours in the day to tell all the stories.
I am probably pretty jaded and cynical these days. I told my kids that when they take my grandkids to Church I would rather they stay with them. Most Church people are fine. Great people. Unfortunately, the wicked abusers look just like everyone else.
Bruce
yep, a scary, and sobering thought. there are few people i trust to watch my child alone.
ReplyDeleteIn another light, I have been in situations where children have come up to me because I taught in a church, teaching love and mercy and grace, and they have told me stories of abuse.
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget the words of a first grader to me: "I wish I could stay here (at church) forever, or somewhere like here, where they actually care about children." And "I wish I could join Jesus but He always tells me I can't go to heaven because I'd have to die..."
To some, yes, church becomes a place of horror and abuse, but to some it becomes a place of hope and grace, as it should be.