Thursday, July 8, 2010

Giving Up Too Much

I am a big fan of mental health services. I believe that every single person can benefit, at one time or another, in either large or small ways, from spending some time with a therapist (psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, counselor, etc.). Since each of us possesses an ego and these egos impede us as we try to flow with life, it's not a bad idea at all to look for a bit of assistance here and there as we plod down the various paths of our lives.

While this entity we call the ego does have a few positive benefits, for the most part, it is the prime variable that keeps us estranged from Tao. It constantly manufactures distinctions where none truly exist. It distorts reality by emphasizing or de-emphasizing important components of this life experience AND it often does so in wholly irrational and inconsistent ways. And it convinces us that we each are THE center of the universe and this distortion is by far the worst of all!

Not only is our ego problematic in its purest state, but its filter becomes clogged with debris, hubris and hyperbole the longer we live. It acts like a bug deflector on the front of a car. As we motor around through life, this deflector becomes plastered with gunk: dead bugs, litter, bird poop, oil, and who knows what else.

So, it's not a bad idea at all to take our ego into the mental mechanic who can help us clean the gunk off of our ego filter. With a cleaner filter, we can be more mentally healthy.

Of course, some people believe they can clean the filter themselves, but this creates a problem. Too often, we can't see all the gunk that has accumulated. We have blind spots. We can think we've swept away all the muck and have cleaned the filter spic and span, yet someone else can come along to point out the big yellow spot in the middle of our supposedly clean canvas!

Yet, while I favor mental health care for each person, I also recognize a distinct danger: giving up too much.

It is not uncommon for the patient to come to view the therapist as the client's super ego. This particularly is true if the patient is in the throes of an acute mental crisis. Because the patient feels that they can't trust themselves, complete trust is shifted to the other person, the therapist.

This is dangerous for two reasons. First, the therapist might not be the most ethical person in the world and so there are some who will take advantage of the situation to manipulate the client to meet the therapist's own needs. Every year we can read about sensational cases of this nature.

However, the second reason manifests itself in every single therapeutic relationship. Patients too often forget that the therapist suffers from the exact same problem the patient does: a gunked up ego filter! Just because an individual has a degree in the mental health field does not mean the person doesn't suffer from the same human predicament that the rest of us contend with.

In fact, because therapists spend most of their working hours cleaning muck off of ego filters, a lot of it ends sticking on their fingers and, in time, it's next too impossible for some of it not to stick to THEIR ego filter!

The upshot of this, in my opinion, is that, while seeking mental health maintenance and repair is a good routine to follow to help keep our mental system purring along, don't take as truth everything the mechanic says. If we do that, all we actually do is trade our own dirty ego filter for theirs.

You think it's hard enough keeping your own filter clean? Try cleaning another person's filter (with no operation manual to boot)!

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