Daodejing, Verse 60

Daodejing - Other Voices

About Leadership
Governing a big country is like cooking a small fish.
Let all under heaven be governed in accordance with the Tao,
and the demons will not manifest their power.
It is not that they lack power
but rather they will not use their power
to harm people.

They are not the only ones who have power
and do not use it to harm the people.
The True Person does not harm the people.
whenever there is ho harm done,
that power flows into the common Virtue.

As a mother of five, I find it hard to determine when to speak up and when to be quiet. I am often tempted to scold my teenage daughter, and threaten her with punishment when she’s untidy and her room looks like a bomb has exploded in it. But if I lose my temper, where will it lead me? She will only resist my efforts to change her, and develop a resentment against me, which will make her reluctant to cooperate with me. Why not accept that this how she chooses to live, just like a lot of other youngster do? Whether I like it or not won’t make a difference, and if I force her to be different, I might break her spirit, and she will rebel against me, instead of being my ally.

Governing a big country is like cooking a small fish. If you interfere too much with it, you’ll spoil it. Leadership is friendship. The True Person is a good leader, who doesn’t spend much time telling others what to do. He trusts his team members, and can leave them to work unsupervised for long periods of time, without having to check on them. He doesn’t need to push and punish them. He is just there for guidance, encouragement and advice if needed. He uses praise liberally instead of criticism. A good leader is not controlling. He allows the fish to cook on its own, without poking at it all the time. You don’t need to tell a tree to grow or a dog to bark. They do it because it’s their nature. The Tao is the natural, gentle Way of non-violence, of allowing others to be who they wish to be.

Once you go with the flow instead of forcing issues, the demons of rage, resentment, disappointment, jealousy, envy and greed might still be there, but they will have no power over you and those you deal with. It’s easy to hurt someone with a spiteful remark, or to use sarcasm as a weapon. My partner knows how to push my buttons better than anyone else. Words that would be easily brushed off if they came from someone else really affect me when he uses them.

It is tempting to respond in anger when someone lashes out at us, especially someone close to us. This is how we use power to inflict harm, and put others down. But if I lower myself to the damaging energy of retaliation and verbal abuse, I will let my demons lose...
~ from Secret Subliminal Mind Power, author Isa Bella, original post date: 10/13/08 ~

This post is part of a series. For an introduction, go here.