Hell, If I Know

In all sorts of circumstances and situations, most of us seem absolutely terrified of uttering the words, "I don't know." It is viewed as a sign of weakness and a lack of awareness. So, even when we don't have the slightest clue why something is or why somebody else said or did something, we feel compelled to offer up some sort of reasoning.

The more I think of it, the more I realize that this is about all religion turns out to be. We live on this tiny orb in the middle of this mammoth galaxy and no one has a clue as to how we got here, where we came from, where we end up or what constitutes life itself. We know very little about our natural world and, if truth be known, we actually don't know that much about ourselves either!

So, instead of the stating the obvious to each of the fundamental questions of our existence -- the very straightforward "Hell, if I know!" -- we feel this need to create elaborate stories that pretend to fill in the gargantuan gaps of our limited knowledge.

Of course, because we feel like little nondescript specks, our stories tell how our species is the chosen one, how each of us represents the "golden child" of the heavens. It is we humans, not lowly crickets or mold spores, who were fashioned in the image of the supreme creator. This celestial being CARES about the human populace and has granted us dominion over all those other LESS important parts. We are the kings and queens of this mighty mudball.

But at the end of the day, despite the fact that we truly want to believe the vast fables we've created, there's this little voice that gnaws at us. The faithful shove the voice down deeper and deeper each time it speaks out, but rarely are they able to silence it completely. It's always lurking around the edges, waiting to slurp us up in those moments when we feel the most vulnerable and alone.

For many, many years I too tried to silence the voice. I threw myself into faith, work and anything I could think of to try to keep it at bay. One day, however, I quit trying to hide from it and began to listen to it earnestly. I soon realized it wasn't some demonic force or alien being; it was my own inner voice.

I no longer need to pretend that I know all the answers. Heck, I now realize I don't even know most of the questions. It no longer pains me to look at the world around me and to shout, "I don't know!" In fact, contrary to popular belief, it's quite liberating.

In the end, that's the truest and purest declaration any of us genuinely can make.

We live.

We die.

And no one knows why.