Daodejing, Verse 24

Daodejing - Other Voices

The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With a Single Step
And so it is. Today is the first of July and as I woke, wearily, no doubt, in preparation for my very first contemplative meditation on The Way, I was attacked by my nerd. I am sure she was there waiting for me and watching me sleep. Before my feet hit the ground she began: it’s eighty-one months, it’s over two-thousand four-hundred days, it’s fifty-eigth thousand hours. You can’t do this. You never finish anything you start. Blah, blah, blah. The usual.

A few days ago I had decided that I would not get stuck in the how during my journey. So I just opened the Tao to what I needed to read this morning. It was verse 24 that showed my nerd the exit. This is the translation:

If you stand on tiptoe, you cannot stand firmly.
If you take long steps, you cannot walk far.

Showing off does not reveal enlightenment.
Boasting does not produce accomplishment.
He who is self-righteous is not respected.
He who brags will not endure.

All these ways of acting are odious, distasteful.
They are superfluous excesses.
They are like a pain in the stomach,
a tumor in the body.

When walking the path of the Tao,
this is the very stuff that must be
uprooted, thrown out, and left behind.

So I left behind my doubts and sank into what I expected would be a peaceful meditation. I am still a novice in the practice of meditation and almost a virgin in unguided meditation. So how perfect is it that the music I chose this morning was just that: music. No guide.

Of course.

I got unstuck and tried to contemplate the words of the verse. What I got was “be humble.” What does that mean? Immediately, I recognized ways that I have been arrogant these last few days. There were plenty. I am embarrased to admit to the scenes I replayed in my head. It wasn’t so much that I was vocalizing how great I was but something even worse. I have been manipulating so that I can’t be seen as the arrogant one. Ugh!

I have been doing the “set up”. I say something that will easily allow the other person to give me a compliment. The worst part of it all is that I know for a fact that while I was manipulating, I was completely aware of what I was doing (and even feeling a little guilty about it WHILE I was doing it). I am certain that if I had pressed pause after I did my set up, I could write down the script that would be delivered back to me immediately after. The sad part is that in all of this, not only did I play an odious and distasteful role. I also played that of a fool. The people I manipulated were too polite to call me out on it but not too dumb to notice. Now I am left with a choice. Do I correct my actions by apologizing for holding the people around me small or do I simply commit to honor the 24th verse of the Tao and embrace humility from now on? I want to say that I do both but that is a hell of a frog for my ego to swallow.

So I WILL do both because they deserve to be held big and I deserve to hold myself high enough that I respect my actions.

I can’t wait to do this again tomorrow. Happy days.
~ from 81 Months in Contemplation, author Patty Flynn, original post date: 7/2/09 ~

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