Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Giving More Than One Has to Give

The act of giving of oneself to an employer, vocation, family, friends and/or a cause is a laudable trait -- up to a point. We live in a society that stresses me to the max. It's all about what I want or I need or I desire. So, it's a breath of fresh air when we find someone whose emphasis is not on themselves but on others.

In my estimation, Bruce Gerencser (see Ode to Bruce) is one of those types of people. I told him as much in a private email. Bruce poured out his heart on his erstwhile blog, Restless Wanderings, and the emotion he wrote with was there for all to see. In the end, unfortunately, I think Bruce gave more than he had to give and this directly led to his blog's demise.

When I was a working stiff, many of my coworkers thought I too was that kind of person. I was the quintessential "go to" guy. I arrived early and left late. I was never too busy not to help out a colleague. As a social worker who generally was on 24-hour call, I urged my clients to call me at ANY hour of the day or night. I lived, breathed and drank my profession.

Of course, SOME of my coworkers believed I had ulterior motives. Some thought I was trying to get in good with the boss. Others contended I merely was trying to show them up. Most of them, though, thought I simply was a caring and compassionate fellow who believed in giving his all to help make this a better world.

The truth of the matter is that every one of them was wrong!! While I AM a very caring and compassionate bloke, this had nothing to do with my penchant to go into overdrive. I also wasn't trying to show anyone up nor was I trying to get in good with the boss. No, my primary reason for giving 150% to any endeavor I undertake is that I don't know how to moderate my efforts.

Whenever I attempt to be prudent with my interest, time or energy, I invariably fall far behind in my obligations and responsibilities. I'm always late. I seem to be dragging up the rear. Consequently, when I undertake something, I give it my full and utmost attention. Since I'm OCD, I obsess on whatever it is and, when a person is obsessed, every waking minute is devoted to the obsession.

In the short-term, this made me super worker or super volunteer. No one had to worry about loose ends because Mr. Obsession made sure there weren't any!! Coworkers and colleagues often would not volunteer to take on duties or tasks because they KNEW that Super Trey would take care of the whole shebang himself if no one else stepped forward.

It should be obvious to anyone reading this post what the long-term consequence is -- no one can sustain that kind of fervent commitment for long. My work history is akin to a shooting star. I never held a mainstream job for more than 3 straight years. I would sweep in from nowhere, burn furiously bright for a brief period of time, then exhausted, I would have to step back to recharge my batteries.

While I have learned to mitigate my proclivities a bit, the evidence that these issues still exist are evident on this blog. Like Bruce, there are periods of time in which I post four, five or six times per day. This may go on for a week or two. In time, however, I burn myself out and then my posting schedule becomes far more sporadic.

I'm in the home stretch of my series on the Wen Tzu. There are only a handful of verses remaining. However, I'm sure most of you have noticed my posts about the Wen Tzu have become a lot more sparse. The reason for this is that I've spent the past several months thinking deep thoughts on the elemental mysteries of life and sharing them with you. I thought so much and so often that my philosophical mind is exhausted. And so, I'm turning my attention more and more toward the random thoughts that course through me noggin.

In time, my philosophical cells will recharge and I'll take up my next great assignment: the Chuang Tzu. For the time being though, I think I'll be less overtly philosophical and write more from the standpoint of whimsy and comments about current events, including the current events in my so-called life.

2 comments:

  1. I think it was Bob Dylan who said, "Never give 100%...what are you gonna do when they want more." As one who is sort of the opposite of OCD, I have taken this to heart.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i'm like you, i tend to obsess about projects and then burn myself out on them. however i'm learning moderation, slowly but surely. the best lesson for me was pregnancy... because i detest the thought of sitting like a bump on a log all day, yet pregnant women shouldn't lead TOO busy of a life because the stress and strain is not healthy.
    in other words, the stress and strain wouldn't only affect me, but my baby as well, and that is one hell of a motivating factor to take it easy! i don't really care that much if i push my own body/mind to the limit, but i'd never knowingly do that with my baby!

    ReplyDelete

Comments are unmoderated, so you can write whatever you want.