Bound and Gagged

In the movie about the life of Ritchie Valens, La Bamba, one point that is underscored several times is that Valens suffered from a fear of flying and had a belief that he would one day die in a plane crash. This might be nothing more than Hollywood hype or it may genuinely be true (I've read stories that have promoted one or the other perspective). All we do know is that Valens did, in deed, die in a plane crash.

Many people fear certain things. I know of people who are convinced that they will die by drowning and others who know their demise will come in a car crash. For me, my greatest fear is that I will die from choking and last week, Thursday, this almost came to pass.

Since as far back as I can remember, I have had swallowing difficulties. My wife will tell you that I must masticate my food to the point it has broken down into a liquid before I can swallow it. I've gotten to the point in which I can't swallow pills -- no matter how large or small. Whenever I attempt it, I end up choking...like on Thursday.

Several doses of vicodin had left me a bit silly in the head. For some dumb reason, I decided that my new dentures would make it easier for me to swallow a pill. So, I took my next dose of vicodin by splitting the pill in half. I got the first half into my mouth and tried to swallow it with liquid. Of course, it only went halfway down before getting stuck in my windpipe.

Because both my mouth and throat were still sore and swollen from my oral surgery 48 hours before, I couldn't seem to muster the needed flexibility to dislodge the pill. Of course, since choking to death is one of my greatest fears, I went into full panic mode. I could barely breath and foam started pouring from my mouth.

My wife called for an ambulance. In all candor, I thought this was it -- I was going to die by choking to death in my own living room. The EMTs arrived and, to be frank, they weren't very helpful. They seemed convinced that I was having a heart attack. Between my gasps for air, I explained that my heart was fine; I was choking!

I was placed on a gurney and then into the waiting ambulance. On the short trip to the local ER, my throat filled up with fluid and foam 3 or 4 times. Each time I thought I would never catch another breath; each time, however, I somehow managed to spit up just enough fluid that my airway was opened slightly again. As they wheeled me into the the hospital, I violently spit up a large amount of foamy liquid AND the pill itself. Once that happened, the crisis was averted. My breathing and pulse rate quickly returned to normal.

I will be the first to admit that my ordeal was made far worse by my anxiety and panic. Had I been able to remain calm, I might not have needed the ambulance at all. However, people like me with severe anxiety disorders can't simply say to ourselves, "Don't be anxious." It's not that easy. Often, the rational part of my brain will understand the situation very clearly, but my emotional side wins the day each time.

The fact that I have a very strong gag reflex is causing an additional problem now. While my new dentures fit as they were intended to, the back of the upper plate comes to rest near the back of the roof of my mouth and this causes me to feel like I'm gagging whenever I wear the upper plate.

As long as I'm wearing it, I can't eat or drink anything. I can only do those two important things when my dentures are out. So, for the time being, I'm on solely a liquid diet. Until I can get some modifications made in the upper denture, I'm not going to progress at the expected rate. In fact, I may not get to eat solid food for another 1 - 3 weeks. Crud!