I know that a few of my readers -- like me -- are afflicted with an invisible disease. Such conditions affect how we feel and how well we function, yet to the average eye, we look just like any average Joe or Jane.
I liken my fibromyalgia to living in a haunted house with a phantom. You never know when the phantom will appear, where and for how long it will stay. Even worse, no one else in the house can see or hear it!!
Let me offer a typical example. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in front of my computer reading some of my favorite blogs. I had a mug of green tea that I had been sipping. I went to pick it up to take another sip and I almost dropped the mug because of piercing pain in my left wrist. The pain began to grow in intensity and, within the next hour, it had traveled up my arm to include my elbow.
By the time I crawled into bed several hours later, it had enveloped my entire left arm from shoulder to wrist PLUS the pain now extended into the left side of my neck. It even included the left side of my face which felt numb and twitchy.
If this had happened ten or fifteen years ago, I might have thought I was having a stroke. However, since symptoms like these are common occurrences, I simply chocked it up to the phantom.
When I awoke this morning (Wednesday) the pain still enveloped the entirety of my left arm, but the symptoms in my neck and face had abated. It remained this way UNTIL I took a nap around 1:30 p.m. Upon arising, I realized the pain in my left arm had vanished...and was now lodged in the entirety of my left leg. I've spent the rest of the day limping around noticeably.
Who knows if and where it will be tomorrow? If it does decide to take its leave for now, I know it will return soon enough. I simply never know when, where and for how long.
Only the phantom knows.
I liken my fibromyalgia to living in a haunted house with a phantom. You never know when the phantom will appear, where and for how long it will stay. Even worse, no one else in the house can see or hear it!!
Let me offer a typical example. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in front of my computer reading some of my favorite blogs. I had a mug of green tea that I had been sipping. I went to pick it up to take another sip and I almost dropped the mug because of piercing pain in my left wrist. The pain began to grow in intensity and, within the next hour, it had traveled up my arm to include my elbow.
By the time I crawled into bed several hours later, it had enveloped my entire left arm from shoulder to wrist PLUS the pain now extended into the left side of my neck. It even included the left side of my face which felt numb and twitchy.
If this had happened ten or fifteen years ago, I might have thought I was having a stroke. However, since symptoms like these are common occurrences, I simply chocked it up to the phantom.
When I awoke this morning (Wednesday) the pain still enveloped the entirety of my left arm, but the symptoms in my neck and face had abated. It remained this way UNTIL I took a nap around 1:30 p.m. Upon arising, I realized the pain in my left arm had vanished...and was now lodged in the entirety of my left leg. I've spent the rest of the day limping around noticeably.
Who knows if and where it will be tomorrow? If it does decide to take its leave for now, I know it will return soon enough. I simply never know when, where and for how long.
Only the phantom knows.
HI R T
ReplyDeleteI live with a phantom too. I never know when, where, or how 'it' will rise up!!!
Love you
Gail
peace......
Different folks: different phantoms.
ReplyDeleteWhy do these things exist, within a life?
Possibly for the same reason mosquitos do.
Gail,
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of you specifically when I wrote this. Bruce too.
Crow,
Of course, you're right. Almost everyone has one phantom or another.
i completely agree. i've had paralyzing bouts of depression, and during these episodes it's as if i were physically paralyzed. "making" myself get up and do something proactive only worsens the episode because it depletes my energy even more. however i've tried to learn how to "ride" the waves instead of "fight" them or "give in" to them... something that taoism has helped me with a lot.
ReplyDelete