Sunday, January 24, 2010

For All the World to See

The number one purpose of this blog is to discuss the world from the perspective of philosophical Taoism. Most of my posts center around this premise. However, the secondary purpose of this blog is to provide information, examples and awareness of things like Asperger's Syndrome and Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Often, when people are afflicted with conditions of this nature, they feel alone and as if no one else in the world could begin to understand where they are coming from. I have laid my life open for all the world to see as my way of saying, you are not alone.

There are many good and wonderful people (and some less so) who regularly read and comment on this blog. Many are well-intentioned, but when it comes to neurology and/or mental health issues, their comments show a deep lack of understanding and compassion. Going in, I knew that most people wouldn't understand because that's a typical bane for those of us who suffer from some type of autism and schizophrenia. Because we look normal, most folks consider us lazy, undisciplined, hypochondriacs, or living in la la land.

If I was writing about dealing with cancer or Parkinson's Disease, would people leave comments accusing me of self-diagnosis or that I was allowing my ego to cut me off from the infinite? If I was born blind or deaf, would people suggest that accepting these conditions for what they are meant that I was blocking my chance to be "healed"?

I'm thankful that my neurology isn't at the far extreme of the autism or schizophrenia spectrums. However, if some you leaving comments ran into someone with profound autism or schizophrenia, would you get in their face to tell them all they needed to do was to let go and be one with Tao, that they are allowing their ego to control them?

I would certainly hope not. If you did feel the need to address such an individual in this way, I would hope the person's guardian and/or the police would shoo you away. Your "sage words" would be of no help and many people would say you were demeaning or mocking the person.

Living with a form of autism and schizophrenia is not easy. There are many things the rest of you take for granted that don't come easily to me. There are some things that don't come to me at all. But I don't share this information because I'm looking sympathy -- it is what it is and I accept it for what it is -- I guess I was hoping for a wee bit of understanding.

But few of you seem willing to try to understand or your form of "understanding" is to castigate me for one reason or another. Well, I can't stop you and it won't stop me from writing about it. My great fear, however, is that you are providing ample evidence for those with a form of autism or schizophrenia who visit this blog to think that they are indeed alone and that no one will ever try to understand them for who they are.

And that's a real shame.

13 comments:

  1. I never mean to castigate you. It's just that your self-awareness and articulate expression and invitation to discussion, especially in the context of Taoism, open these topics up.

    You are very different from a friend of mine, very intelligent in language and science skills, who I have come to understand, over the 20 years I have known her, is mentally ill (whatever that means). She suffers from profound chronic depression, some sort of social-anxiety disorder (borderline? avoidant?), and quite possibly Asperger's (which I wouldn't have thought of until reading your blog; she certainly exhibits some of the traits you describe.) She however is very guarded about her conditions, shuts herself up and away, to the point of rejecting friends. I can see her pain, and she causes it in other people too, the people who have come to care about her. She keeps everything inside and cannot let go of trivial things that happened decades ago.

    We were talking about Taoist concepts once, and she said, "You know, you'd be surprised, my therapist says a lot of these same things." I wasn't really. I haven't talked to her lately; her dog died --a topic we are not allowed to even offer sympathy about --and she is heavily medicated most of the time.

    ***
    Actually Taoist meditation and qigong are effective in helping people deal with cancer or other life threatening illnesses.

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  2. It's not uncommon for aspies to be very open -- more open than normal -- than average folks. It probably has something to do with not understanding boundaries very well. I've had a propensity throughout my life to share more information than most people would prefer to hear. ;)

    As to meditation and qigong as being methods to help one deal with a myriad of issues and situations, I wouldn't disagree in the least. For me though, the key is that it helps a person to DEAL with the condition, it typically doesn't make it go away.

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  3. hmmm i'm wondering why you generally ignore anonymous comments about religion, but get more defensive about attacks on your diagnosis?

    ultimately, people will believe whatever will create the most harmony in their own minds, even (or especially) if it means telling other people they are wrong. few people realize that harmony within comes from understanding, not judgment. i used to be a very judgmental person, so i am speaking from experience.

    in other words, i wouldn't take the words of strangers on the internet too personally. ;) your doctors know more about your condition than random people who browse your blog.

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  4. The best therapy I've ever had comes from reading what others in similar, though not identical situations think and feel, and to write about my own thoughts and issues. The Internet provides just the right amount of distance for me most of the time, though my family and friends think I'm crazy to actually put my name (and in some places, face) on what I post here and there.

    I don't know what, if anything is organically "wrong" with me, I just know I've always been different, never really fit in, and always preferred the company of other outsiders to the comfort of running with the pack.

    Speaking of "wrong" - I'm beginning to think it's not so much something wrong with those of us who end up as outsiders in the world so much as it is something wrong with the world that is so unwilling to allow for grater diversity in perceptions and perspectives among people in general.

    Enough, I'm beginning to ramble again.

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  5. @Thurman -- Well, I think Taoists may be the ultimate outsiders....

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  6. Might be a good idea to take a short break from blogging RT.
    Get calm, tend to your upcoming surgery anxiety.
    Get your balance going...

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  7. Get over yourself. No-one self-diagnoses cancer or parkinson's, so it does not follow.

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  8. hmmm i'm wondering why you generally ignore anonymous comments about religion, but get more defensive about attacks on your diagnosis?

    Iktomi,
    I suppose the reason is that I'm not religious and I've learned through the years that there's no point in trying to debate someone who believes in invisible beings.

    Anonymous won't be leaving any more comments. I removed the ability to leave those kinds of comments. If he or she wants to continue his/her negative barrage, he/she will need to have some sort of virtual identity.

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  9. Hmmm...
    A virtual identity.
    Like:
    The Crumbling Leftist?
    The Lumbering Cleftist?
    The Slumbering Dentist?

    Poor anonymous.
    Probably more than just one person though.
    Now all of them are banned.
    For criticising a hypocrite.

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  10. @Crow
    Mr. self-defined "Balance/Peace/Source-Connected" has hurled out another one of his invectives and yet, as is par for the course, he provides no reasoning to back up his claim. Sigh.

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  11. What you refer to as "reason" doesn't seem to have done much for you, any more that what you refer to as "taoism" has.
    I think you will find that my "invective" lags behind your own by a very, very large margin.

    I foresee a terrible, sinking feeling when you wake up from this ugly pastime and realize what you have done.

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  12. @Crow
    It is interesting that you would choose the word "hypocrite" when it is YOU who hides your true identity. Thurman leaves a comment and he uses his actual name. I use The Rambling Taoist, but anyone who comes to my blog sees my real name, "Trey Smith" at the top of the left sidebar. I even provide a link that tells a bit about who I am and some of my activities over the years.

    What do we really know about you? You're a crow. Real transparency there, buddy!

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  13. @Crow
    It took a bit of detective work, but I now know who hides behind the mask of The Crow. Eh, DJ?

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