Our brains are filled with mental pictures. It's how we think about people, places, things, ideas and concepts. Some of these pictures become etched in our memory, the parameters ever fixed and unchanging. Some pictures are more generalized and may take on different shapes or forms depending on our mood or the situations. A few of these pictures either are fluid or rather nebulous; we often have a difficult time getting a true fix on them at all.
There is nothing inherently wrong with creating such pictures; it's how the human brain operates. Where we get ourselves into trouble, however, is when we start mistaking the mental pictures for the actual things they represent -- confusing the moon with the finger pointing at it!
For example, what sort of mental picture do you conjure up for a helpful person? Is it the kind of individual who gives freely of themselves without the expectation of a quid pro quo? Do you envision a kindly grandmother or grandfather type?
While such an image could well express the concept of help, it only presents a one-dimensional characterization of a multi-dimensional concept. Sometimes the best way we can assist our fellow humans is by NOT giving them what they desire. Sometimes the best way to be helpful is to allow them to fall flat on their faces.
The very same kind of tact can be used with love. Sometimes love means to provide security and protection; at other times, genuine love is to leave someone feeling insecure and unprotected (i.e., tough love).
And so it goes for almost any concept a person can think of. There will always be a level of yin and yang in all we do.
So, a lesson for each of us -- one we must relearn over and over again -- is to live in the moment and not to rely so much on our mental pictures. Those pictures dictate our behavior and, if we pull up the wrong one for any given situation OR if some of our pictures simply become too fixed, we are apt to think or act against the nature of what needs to be done.
There is nothing inherently wrong with creating such pictures; it's how the human brain operates. Where we get ourselves into trouble, however, is when we start mistaking the mental pictures for the actual things they represent -- confusing the moon with the finger pointing at it!
For example, what sort of mental picture do you conjure up for a helpful person? Is it the kind of individual who gives freely of themselves without the expectation of a quid pro quo? Do you envision a kindly grandmother or grandfather type?
While such an image could well express the concept of help, it only presents a one-dimensional characterization of a multi-dimensional concept. Sometimes the best way we can assist our fellow humans is by NOT giving them what they desire. Sometimes the best way to be helpful is to allow them to fall flat on their faces.
The very same kind of tact can be used with love. Sometimes love means to provide security and protection; at other times, genuine love is to leave someone feeling insecure and unprotected (i.e., tough love).
And so it goes for almost any concept a person can think of. There will always be a level of yin and yang in all we do.
So, a lesson for each of us -- one we must relearn over and over again -- is to live in the moment and not to rely so much on our mental pictures. Those pictures dictate our behavior and, if we pull up the wrong one for any given situation OR if some of our pictures simply become too fixed, we are apt to think or act against the nature of what needs to be done.
i think this post is very well said and represents a concept few people understand.
ReplyDeletethere is also an element of creativity implied, if you take your post one step further. for example, if one way of helping a person isn't working, instead of condemning the person or giving up, the method can simply be changed to fit the situation or the individual. this requires a fluid mental picture, and the ability to let go of pictures that do us no good while creating ones that are needed or useful.