The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.
that suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
~ from the theme from Mash, written by Johnny Mandel and Mike Altman ~
As posted here earlier, the current scuttlebutt is that David Carradine died of his own hand. If it is later determined that he did indeed commit suicide, what are we to make of this?
When I was younger, I would certainly consider this act a tragedy. I was taught that suicide is a sin as it's playing the role of God with a person's own life. Only the almighty has the right to determine when our time is up; anyone who seeks to shortchange the almighty is itching to spend the rest of their days in damnation.
Of course, since I no longer believe in God, my opinion on suicide has changed greatly.
As a former Licensed Social Worker, I do recognize that many people who commit suicide are clinically depressed. Had they been freed from the grips of depression, the vast majority may not have chosen to end their life on this earth.
That said, I no longer believe that EVERY person who takes their own life is depressed at all. For some, it's simply a question of control. For a wide variety of reasons, each decides that their quality of life has eroded to a sufficient point -- be it physical, emotional or spiritual -- and they desire to control the end. So, rather than wait for death to sneak up behind them or to be forced into walking a tortuous last few steps, such individuals pick the time and day themselves.
Who knows if this describes the case for David Carradine?
A lot people talk about freedom, but draw the line at suicide. I suppose such people believe that freedom is for the living, not the dead. But if we aim to live in a genuinely free society, the living must have the freedom to pursue their own death -- what many have termed death with dignity.
I realize this may sound callous, to some, because the emotional pain of suicide is borne by those living loved ones left behind. I will certainly grant this point, but I believe much of the pain comes from suicide's stigmatization as well as the grief that accompanies the death of anyone we care about. Remove the stigma and you remove one penetrating aspect of this grief.
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.
that suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
~ from the theme from Mash, written by Johnny Mandel and Mike Altman ~
As posted here earlier, the current scuttlebutt is that David Carradine died of his own hand. If it is later determined that he did indeed commit suicide, what are we to make of this?
When I was younger, I would certainly consider this act a tragedy. I was taught that suicide is a sin as it's playing the role of God with a person's own life. Only the almighty has the right to determine when our time is up; anyone who seeks to shortchange the almighty is itching to spend the rest of their days in damnation.
Of course, since I no longer believe in God, my opinion on suicide has changed greatly.
As a former Licensed Social Worker, I do recognize that many people who commit suicide are clinically depressed. Had they been freed from the grips of depression, the vast majority may not have chosen to end their life on this earth.
That said, I no longer believe that EVERY person who takes their own life is depressed at all. For some, it's simply a question of control. For a wide variety of reasons, each decides that their quality of life has eroded to a sufficient point -- be it physical, emotional or spiritual -- and they desire to control the end. So, rather than wait for death to sneak up behind them or to be forced into walking a tortuous last few steps, such individuals pick the time and day themselves.
Who knows if this describes the case for David Carradine?
A lot people talk about freedom, but draw the line at suicide. I suppose such people believe that freedom is for the living, not the dead. But if we aim to live in a genuinely free society, the living must have the freedom to pursue their own death -- what many have termed death with dignity.
I realize this may sound callous, to some, because the emotional pain of suicide is borne by those living loved ones left behind. I will certainly grant this point, but I believe much of the pain comes from suicide's stigmatization as well as the grief that accompanies the death of anyone we care about. Remove the stigma and you remove one penetrating aspect of this grief.
Clearly, we don't have enough information to reach conclusions. I am not even sure he committed suicide. For all we know, maybe he had a lover who put a tablet in his wine and hanged him while he was drowsy.
ReplyDeleteBut, in general, I don't like suicide. I've seen the tremendous damage it causes to those left behind. Some of them live in fear that anyone they love will kill him/herself for the smallest reason. They also blame themselves. it goes far behind just missing the person who's gone.
I have a hard time believing KC killed himself. He was working, and for an actor his age, that's a lot.
But, what do I know?
Lorena,
ReplyDeleteI think many of the negatives you speak of relate to the stigma of suicide. If suicide was accepted by general society as one option pertaining to life, then the damage may well be minimized.
In addition, a lot of the emotional damage is bound up in the concept of suicide as a sin against God. Remove that from the equation and you're left with general grief.
I'm not too familiar with Mr Carradine's work or the circumstances of his death. It is always sad, though, to know the humans have someone who'd brought a many people happiness through what he did.
ReplyDeleteSuicide is always a difficult issue to talk about, because of the religious stigma and because people do it for so many reasons. How do you weigh the pain of the survivors against the pain of the decedent? How much suffering is too much to bear? A blog I found really helpful when I needed to read up on the subject is The View From Hell.
The concept of people taking not only care of their life but also the time and means of their death is still highly debated in the world. Even in the The Netherlands, where I live, it is still a very debated issue although we are viewed in the world as the killer of old people after we passed a law regulating euthanasia in certain cases.
ReplyDeleteWhen people feel that they should step out of this life and into the next then that is their pregorative. But do it in good consultation with your family to minimize the grief. Let's face it, when people die, however the circumstances, the people left behind will feel a great loss. But in my view you can minimize the impact by creating understanding by explaining why you take this step.
Fiat Lex,
ReplyDeleteThe two questions posed in paragraph 2 are good ones and must be answered by the individuals involved. I'm certain there are no clear answers.
Thanks for your second recommendation today! I've added that blog to my watch list.
Nicolas,
You make a most excellent point!! Planning and communication are key.
Mash. I love that song (Suicide is painless), the show, and the movie.
ReplyDeleteI sing it once in a while.
My aunt likes to say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem... thing with that is not all problems are temporary. I feel bad for the family left behind, but not for the person who died. They had their reasons, whatever they might have been. I just think it's sad that death was the answer they came up with. Not that I think the decision was wrong, but that they were in a situation that caused them to choose death. Whatever the situation was, I'm sure it wasn't all that good and that's what I feel sorry about.
ReplyDeleteIf you have something like cancer and want to be free from that pain, I feel bad you were in pain and I understand how death would seem like a good choice. If you have been abused all your life and you want to escape it, then I feel bad you were abused. The decision isn’t what I feel bad about; it’s what might have led them to it. So I don’t judge people for committing suicide, there’s no point in that, I just feel bad that they’re gone because I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I think they no longer exist and so I feel bad about that.
I used to think it was cowardly and cruel to those who were left behind, but I realized that for some people it’s not that easy. I had a friend who got drunk one night and started taking handfuls of her epilepsy pills. I was downstairs enjoying myself (for once) and she was upstairs. A younger girl came down and told us and asked what we should do. Seemed simple to me, call an ambulance, and I went upstairs to see what was going on. I certainly wasn’t angry and I didn’t blame her. I had a feeling that it was the alcohol that was leading her to make that kind of decision, it seemed to really mess with head.
I was able to get her to go in the ambulance with a little persuasion (Hey Jo, they’re HOT) and then had to tell her we had to stay in emergency and not “just go” which she thought we could do as if nothing was going on…. In that situation I knew her judgment was impaired. I couldn’t let her take her own life in that condition. As far as I know, she never tried again, so I think I made the right choice. Things might have been different if the situation had been different, so for me it all depends on the situation.