On Wednesday, in the post "I Really Tried", I wrote about my long road of deconverting from Christianity. As I mentioned, it didn't come about all at once. It was a gradual, but steady, process. What started off with some gentle questioning evolved into deep questioning and, wherever I looked, I couldn't find anyone who could provide meaningful answers.
In this post, I will try to explain some of the turning points that allowed me to cast off the shackles of religion.
Probably the very first thing that set me on edge was the Christian church opposition to rational thought. I grew up in a home with a lawyer (father) and teacher/social worker (mother). My brother and I were encouraged to think for ourselves and, when in doubt, to ask pertinent questions.
Yet, when I left the confines of my home and ventured into the world of Christendom, too many people became irritated by probing questions! "Why are there two radically different creation stories in the Book of Genesis?" In all my years of Sunday School, not one of my teachers had an adequate answer. More often than not, they would simply sidestep the issue and try to direct my attention elsewhere.
As I read the bible in my teen years, I became acutely aware that the Old Testament read like a tawdry soap opera. God's supposed chosen ones committed about every "sin" a person could imagine and, many times, God was the one egging them on! Within those "hallowed" pages, I was reading about debauchery, rape, incest, murder, and wholesale wanton slaughter. How could a divine being -- one that is said to be perfect in all ways -- condone such egregious behavior?
Not only was this God urging his chosen people to commit all sorts of atrocities, but he seemed bedeviled by the very same petty emotions we humans struggle with. At any given moment, God could be tempestuous, jealous, preoccupied, apathetic, egotistical or completely bewildered.
I was particularly bothered by the story of God needing to send two angels to earth to see if the people in Sodom and Gomorrah (hope my geographic memory is correct) were truly screwing up as much as he thought they were. How is it that God didn't know? He's supposed to know all things, even before they happen. So why does he appear just as clueless as the rest of us?
Because of the above questions and more, I came to realize that the inerrant word of God argument had some very serious flaws. If God indeed provided the words for this holiest of books, then he was a madman. If the bible had instead been written by men, then they obviously weren't getting the story right at all and we had no idea what God wanted of us.
The final straw, however, came when I started contemplating deeply the Jesus story. When you get right down to it, it's a story of a ritualistic human sacrifice not that much different than the Aztecs or numerous other civilizations. The last supper was an example of symbolic cannibalism. How can we criticize supposed primitive societies for engaging in nearly the same kind of practices we exalt?
At some point in my late 30s, I realized I'd been had. This religious faith I had moored my boat to was a dilapidated structure that was falling apart under its own weight. I had grown very weary of non-answers like "We must trust in God".
Why must we? Why must I? It was at that juncture that I realized that I didn't need to allow myself to be duped anymore into believing this nonsense. And so, I untied my boat and set sail for the horizon.
In this post, I will try to explain some of the turning points that allowed me to cast off the shackles of religion.
Probably the very first thing that set me on edge was the Christian church opposition to rational thought. I grew up in a home with a lawyer (father) and teacher/social worker (mother). My brother and I were encouraged to think for ourselves and, when in doubt, to ask pertinent questions.
Yet, when I left the confines of my home and ventured into the world of Christendom, too many people became irritated by probing questions! "Why are there two radically different creation stories in the Book of Genesis?" In all my years of Sunday School, not one of my teachers had an adequate answer. More often than not, they would simply sidestep the issue and try to direct my attention elsewhere.
As I read the bible in my teen years, I became acutely aware that the Old Testament read like a tawdry soap opera. God's supposed chosen ones committed about every "sin" a person could imagine and, many times, God was the one egging them on! Within those "hallowed" pages, I was reading about debauchery, rape, incest, murder, and wholesale wanton slaughter. How could a divine being -- one that is said to be perfect in all ways -- condone such egregious behavior?
Not only was this God urging his chosen people to commit all sorts of atrocities, but he seemed bedeviled by the very same petty emotions we humans struggle with. At any given moment, God could be tempestuous, jealous, preoccupied, apathetic, egotistical or completely bewildered.
I was particularly bothered by the story of God needing to send two angels to earth to see if the people in Sodom and Gomorrah (hope my geographic memory is correct) were truly screwing up as much as he thought they were. How is it that God didn't know? He's supposed to know all things, even before they happen. So why does he appear just as clueless as the rest of us?
Because of the above questions and more, I came to realize that the inerrant word of God argument had some very serious flaws. If God indeed provided the words for this holiest of books, then he was a madman. If the bible had instead been written by men, then they obviously weren't getting the story right at all and we had no idea what God wanted of us.
The final straw, however, came when I started contemplating deeply the Jesus story. When you get right down to it, it's a story of a ritualistic human sacrifice not that much different than the Aztecs or numerous other civilizations. The last supper was an example of symbolic cannibalism. How can we criticize supposed primitive societies for engaging in nearly the same kind of practices we exalt?
At some point in my late 30s, I realized I'd been had. This religious faith I had moored my boat to was a dilapidated structure that was falling apart under its own weight. I had grown very weary of non-answers like "We must trust in God".
Why must we? Why must I? It was at that juncture that I realized that I didn't need to allow myself to be duped anymore into believing this nonsense. And so, I untied my boat and set sail for the horizon.
As I read the bible in my teen years, I became acutely aware that the Old Testament read like a tawdry soap opera. God's supposed chosen ones committed about every "sin" a person could imagine and, many times, God was the one egging them on! Within those "hallowed" pages, I was reading about debauchery, rape, incest, murder, and wholesale wanton slaughter. How could a divine being -- one that is said to be perfect in all ways -- condone such egregious behavior?
ReplyDeleteah. of course. clearly because the Bible reports historical facts then it follows that God must approve of those things. um.. not really. explain how one follows the other.
Not only was this God urging his chosen people to commit all sorts of atrocities, but he seemed bedeviled by the very same petty emotions we humans struggle with. At any given moment, God could be tempestuous, jealous, preoccupied, apathetic, egotistical or completely bewildered.
wow. actually these are literary devices called anthropomorphisms.
Tye,
ReplyDeleteCheck out this link that clearly shows the connection.
Aah yes, the bible which many Christians take literally is only literal when it suits their purposes and is not literal when it doesn't. As the Church Lady would say, "How convenient!"