If you read the statistics, marriage is a difficult row to hoe. Estimates indicate that in the U.S. nearly "50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce". The rate is particularly high for childless couples and a marriage is doing well if it survives for 10 years or more!
I know a thing or two about divorce. My own parents married and divorced each other twice!! My first marriage ended in divorce -- it was a marriage that never should have happened as my first wife and I had next too nothing in common and vastly different philosophies of life.
Defying the statistics, however, my second marriage (to my dear Della) has been my salvation. To be certain, it was rocky in the beginning and, at the 6 year mark, I didn't think we'd make it to year 7. My mother's death, however, caused both Della & I to see life in a different light. We realized how fleeting our time is and we both realized we were better together than apart.
Since that defining moment, our bond has grown stronger and stronger. While many relationships grow stale and stagnant as the years slip by, our love and respect for each other has only deepened with the years. It has gotten to the point in which I can't fathom Della not being the biggest part of my life.
I must admit that I feel blessed and extremely lucky that I met Della when I did and that she stuck with me through my many physical and emotional trials and tribulations. One thing I forgot to add in the introductory statistical section is that marriages involving a partner with AS show an extremely high incidence of divorce!!
One of the reasons I feel exceedingly lucky is that I'm not the romantic sort which, I think, is typical of aspies. When we were younger, I certainly didn't woo my wife. Though I can be very loving, I'm not the kind of fellow to get down on one knee to propose. In fact, there was never a definitive moment when I proposed marriage; it simply occurred as a routine progression in our relationship.
The other reason I feel lucky in hooking up with Della is that I've never been keen on the idea of being a parent. I think I realized early on that my personality simply was not conducive to parenthood. It has turned out that being a parent wasn't that important to Della either.
My first wife, Ann, also indicated that children weren't that important to her. Unfortunately, sometime during year 2, her biological clock started ticking. All of a sudden, she wanted to talk about starting a family and that was a conversation that was a non-starter for me. She obviously was serious because, within 6 months of separating, she was pregnant!
When my relationship with Della started getting serious (almost immediately!), I worried about her biological clock. In fact, earlier on, I wasn't too keen on the marriage idea because I was worried that somewhere down the road her clock would go off. But she was persistent and, fortunately, it's never gone off. :-)
I know a thing or two about divorce. My own parents married and divorced each other twice!! My first marriage ended in divorce -- it was a marriage that never should have happened as my first wife and I had next too nothing in common and vastly different philosophies of life.
Defying the statistics, however, my second marriage (to my dear Della) has been my salvation. To be certain, it was rocky in the beginning and, at the 6 year mark, I didn't think we'd make it to year 7. My mother's death, however, caused both Della & I to see life in a different light. We realized how fleeting our time is and we both realized we were better together than apart.
Since that defining moment, our bond has grown stronger and stronger. While many relationships grow stale and stagnant as the years slip by, our love and respect for each other has only deepened with the years. It has gotten to the point in which I can't fathom Della not being the biggest part of my life.
I must admit that I feel blessed and extremely lucky that I met Della when I did and that she stuck with me through my many physical and emotional trials and tribulations. One thing I forgot to add in the introductory statistical section is that marriages involving a partner with AS show an extremely high incidence of divorce!!
One of the reasons I feel exceedingly lucky is that I'm not the romantic sort which, I think, is typical of aspies. When we were younger, I certainly didn't woo my wife. Though I can be very loving, I'm not the kind of fellow to get down on one knee to propose. In fact, there was never a definitive moment when I proposed marriage; it simply occurred as a routine progression in our relationship.
The other reason I feel lucky in hooking up with Della is that I've never been keen on the idea of being a parent. I think I realized early on that my personality simply was not conducive to parenthood. It has turned out that being a parent wasn't that important to Della either.
My first wife, Ann, also indicated that children weren't that important to her. Unfortunately, sometime during year 2, her biological clock started ticking. All of a sudden, she wanted to talk about starting a family and that was a conversation that was a non-starter for me. She obviously was serious because, within 6 months of separating, she was pregnant!
When my relationship with Della started getting serious (almost immediately!), I worried about her biological clock. In fact, earlier on, I wasn't too keen on the marriage idea because I was worried that somewhere down the road her clock would go off. But she was persistent and, fortunately, it's never gone off. :-)
I must enjoy marriage, as I have been married 5 times, this time for keeps. After striving for meaningful relationships, I finally relaxed and soulmate and I came together.
ReplyDeleteNow life is bliss. For the past nine years.